Zombie Strippers Stole My Heart Then Ate My Brains

Zombie Strippers Stole My Heart Then Ate My Brains sounds like a joke.  And it is.  Just not a very funny one.  This is one of the most glitchy, broken games on XBLIG.  But it has the word “Strippers” in it, so it will get attention.  It’s transparent and shameful, but that’s how the market works.  I played it for about thirty minutes and noticed the following things.

  • No matter how centered a zombie is in your cross-hairs, bullets can and will completely miss their targets.  Even from a distance of two inches away from you, with your gun centered completely on the enemy, bullets might miss.  It seems completely random.  This includes times when I shot zombies I wasn’t pointing at.  That happened a few times as well.  As in, I shot at a zombie that was two inches away from me, and the bullet hit a zombie twenty feet behind me and three feet to the right.
  • Assuming you get lucky and manage to shoot a lot of zombies, you still have to deal with limited ammo.  It does respawn, but not fast enough.  When your bullets only work by random chance, being conservative with your ammo isn’t helpful.
  • All the guns that look like they might be fun to play with are locked, leaving you with a weak starting pistol that hits a target maybe one in four times.

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I didn’t put much time into this one, but it doesn’t seem the developer did either.  Zombie Strippers Stole My Heart Then Ate My Brains is the worst first person shooter on XBLIG (and, thanks to the option menu, the worst third-person shooter as well) and the guys behind this should hang their heads in collective shame.  There are no excuses for making games this bad.

xboxboxartZombie Strippers Stole My Heart Then Ate My Brains was developed by Strange Games

80 Microsoft Points have a boyfriend who, in a state of confusion, resented being called a Zombie Stripper when I told him the title of this game in the making of this review.

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