Zombie Strippers Stole My Heart Then Ate My Brains

Zombie Strippers Stole My Heart Then Ate My Brains sounds like a joke.  And it is.  Just not a very funny one.  This is one of the most glitchy, broken games on XBLIG.  But it has the word “Strippers” in it, so it will get attention.  It’s transparent and shameful, but that’s how the market works.  I played it for about thirty minutes and noticed the following things.

  • No matter how centered a zombie is in your cross-hairs, bullets can and will completely miss their targets.  Even from a distance of two inches away from you, with your gun centered completely on the enemy, bullets might miss.  It seems completely random.  This includes times when I shot zombies I wasn’t pointing at.  That happened a few times as well.  As in, I shot at a zombie that was two inches away from me, and the bullet hit a zombie twenty feet behind me and three feet to the right.
  • Assuming you get lucky and manage to shoot a lot of zombies, you still have to deal with limited ammo.  It does respawn, but not fast enough.  When your bullets only work by random chance, being conservative with your ammo isn’t helpful.
  • All the guns that look like they might be fun to play with are locked, leaving you with a weak starting pistol that hits a target maybe one in four times.

screen1

I didn’t put much time into this one, but it doesn’t seem the developer did either.  Zombie Strippers Stole My Heart Then Ate My Brains is the worst first person shooter on XBLIG (and, thanks to the option menu, the worst third-person shooter as well) and the guys behind this should hang their heads in collective shame.  There are no excuses for making games this bad.

xboxboxartZombie Strippers Stole My Heart Then Ate My Brains was developed by Strange Games

80 Microsoft Points have a boyfriend who, in a state of confusion, resented being called a Zombie Stripper when I told him the title of this game in the making of this review.

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14 Responses to Zombie Strippers Stole My Heart Then Ate My Brains

  1. MoesAusdruck says:

    Sounds like a masterpiece! Cant wait to pick that up!

  2. J-R says:

    I don’t blame the people who play this game, I blame the people who approved this to be on XBOXLIG.

    • Ummm… It didn’t violate any of the rules, thus it got approved. I take it you’re not familiar with the community approval process for XBLI. If you failed a game, because what? It’s bad? You’d lose your CC membership (for being a douche bag) and be out your $100.

      • Jim Perry says:

        You must be the one that’s not familiar with the rules as well as the crap reviewers that approved this garbage. It’s obviously bug-ridden, which is a valid fail reason. The problem is, the review process is broken. To many reviewers will pass any piece of garbage in hopes if a kickback review. Those of us that care about XBLIG don’t have a chance to fail crap that doesn’t belong on it.

        I really hope you aren’t one of the people that are reviewing games because you’re obviously not qualified if you think this game should have passed. 😦

        • Jim, I wouldn’t touch this with a 10 foot pole while it was in review. But I did play it after downloading it from the market. I found it challenging, and slightly humorous. Two shots in the body of a zombie kills them, or one in the head. I went through the whole game shooting them in the body, because it was easier, and allowed me to concentrate on locating ammo and staying alive. There are very few options, and I tried several times to create bugs or crashes, but couldn’t find any. It’s a zombie game, with some poor qualities, but it’s not a bad FPS. It’s actually one of the better single player FPS campaigns I’ve seen. Eventually you find the types of zombies increases, as well as their attacks. Your objectives also vary slightly, but it’s usually about keeping your partner alive or just yourself. All the powerful guns seem to unlock at just the right time, and the difficulty increases very gradually, to keep you interested. There is a maximum on how much ammo you can carry, as well as having it scattered all about the levels, which means you again have to be smart in how you plan your defense. If my choice is between this, and Dream Divers or Halloween Pie, I’ll take this. It’s got about the same level of moral value as Duke Nukem.

          In fact, he even sounds like Duke Nukem.

          Anyways, I’m obviously writing all this because I think you should all try it for yourselves. I have my own game on the market, but I’m recommending this one.

          The one thing I didn’t appreciate was the developer had “mystery” passes, similar to other situations we’ve seen in the past, where developers are not revealing who is passing what. But the game itself seemed fine.

        • Have you played the game and found bugs in it ? We should make a list of all the games on XBLIG that are considered “crap”, “garbage”, and/or “bug ridden” – I know some of the Minecraft clones had a ton of crashable bugs in them…..silver dollar had a couple “crappy” games…

          Sounds like this is an epidemic of sorts and the system is broken from what you are saying….what can be done about it ??

      • J-R says:

        I didn’t realize someone replied, let alone the developer. I guess I’ll reply even though it’s been 2 months.

        Yes, I do know how the process goes. If it doesn’t not feature anything in the evil checklist, it’s okay. I did not mean to say that people should fail games because they are horrible as the rules do not include quality control. No, I meant that I blame people for passing this game when they have the power not to do that. This game is garbage. As Jim said earlier, people did not approve your game because they like it or thought it was great. No, they approved it because they wanted you to return the favor and review their games. That’s it.

        I’ll be honest. I too want my games to pass so I play other people’s games in hopes of getting a review back. However, I have standards. If I played a game like this, I would not approve it. I don’t care if it was free of bugs, the concept is stupid, the gameplay looks uninteresting and boring, and it looks like only the bare minimum effort was put into it. So no, I cannot fail it, but I would never approve it either.

  3. Argamae says:

    Seems like another one in a long line of good reasons to avoid FPS on XBLIG. Me, I recently got “THE CONDUIT” for about 10 bucks and currently having a blast playing it on my Wii U.

  4. Argamae says:

    But since FPS are one of my favourite genres I decided to give the demo version of ZSSMHTAMB a try. I only had the pistol but I could not detect the terrible off-aim you complain about. My shots were mostly accurate, I got hit ratios of about 70% in the three levels I played. That’s definitely more than 1 out of 4 bullets fired. That is more like 3 out of 4 bullets. I mean the game is terrible nonetheless and I won’t buy it but the aim is imho alright.

  5. Jton says:

    Play Mute Crimson, it’s cooler than this.

  6. Well, now I have to try it….with all this buzz going on……

  7. Pingback: Indie Links Round-Up: Money To Burn | The Indie Game Magazine - Indie Game Reviews, Previews, News & Downloads

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