Trailer Park King 3DD

What can I say about the Trailer Park King games that I haven’t already said here, here, or here?  Nothing has changed for the third (or fourth) installment.  Horrible voice acting.  Ridiculous, nonsensical plot.  Lack of actual gameplay.  Humor so crude and forced that it would make Seth MacFarlane blush with shame.  By all rights, these are games I should hate.  So why do I keep coming back to them?  More importantly, why do I keep adding them to my Leaderboard?  Granted, not one game in the series is in the top 100, but still, shouldn’t I be lining them up against a wall and gunning them down like Al Capone?  These are bad games.  I’m known to clean and gut bad games and mount them on my wall.  So what the fuck, Cathy?

Doctor House would diagnose the nurse with explosive jug syndrome. Or it could be lupus.

I think part of it is how much Trailer Park King revels in its subject matter.  The characters are all so uncouth, shallow, and flat-out stupid that you can’t help but laugh at it.  Another part of it is developer Sean Doherty is Canadian and it strikes me as a potentially offensive look at how our neighbors to the north view the poor of our country.  It straddles the line between parody and socioeconomic bigotry, but it’s so damn absurd that nobody could possibly be offended.  It’s also one of those “raunchy” games that other developers burn in effigy.  I see where they’re coming from, but Trailer Park King doesn’t strike me as particularly sexy.  The characters here are so.. well.. trashy, that I can’t believe anyone could get off on this stuff.  If these were real people, you could probably get an STD just by thinking about them while jerking off.  Never mind that the characters are grossly malnourished and their tits are obviously fake.

It’s rare that games on XBLIG are so bad that they’re good, but that’s the best way to summarize the Trailer Park King series.  They’re guilty pleasures.  The series might be running out of steam though.  This time around, you have to prove that series antagonist Truck is not a zombie.  How do you do this?  Well, zombies can’t dance, can’t be hypnotized, eat brains, animals don’t like them, and most important, they can’t be anal probed.  So you run down those things like a checklist and see if Truck takes the bait on any of them.  It’s as dumb as it sounds, but it’s still funny in a self-aware “I’m playing a game where someone shoves a large anal prob up a dude’s ass to prove he’s not a zombie” sort of away.

The only minigame in Trailer Park King carries on the tradition of being needless and dull.

For the third (or fourth) episode in the series, there’s only one mini-game: a shooting gallery where you must fire on wanted posters that have descriptions like “skank” or “dumbass.”  Prior knowledge of the series is probably required, or you can just wait for dumbass to pop up and shoot the posters of Truck like I did.  It’s not the most well conceived, but it’s better than the sliding puzzle of Cherry Poke Prison.  Otherwise, the game seemed like the shortest of the series (it took me about thirty minutes to finish) and the jokes are starting to wear a bit thin.  I still enjoyed Trailer Park King 3, but I won’t be reviewing any more games in the series.  Quite frankly, I’m running out of stuff to say about them.  They are what they are.  You’ll either hate them on principle, or you’ll enjoy them for being utterly bad, yet oddly compelling pieces of shit.  And hey, white trash is totally an in thing right now.  If Ted Nugent is looking for someone to make a video game about her life, she should ring up Sean.

Trailer Park King 3DD was developed by Freelance Games

80 Microsoft Points said watching Honey Boo Boo is now medically defined as self-harm in the making of this review.

Trailer Park King 3DD is Chick Approved and ranked on the Indie Gamer Chick Leaderboard.  Check to see where it’s fapping at.

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