Without Escape

I really, truly don’t get the appeal in point and click games.  I’ve seen my father, a fairly jovial individual if there ever was one, lose his shit and degenerate into a snarling, swearing madman whenever he can’t find his car keys.  Somehow, the old man always misplaces them and it drives him crazy.  Point and Clickers are the video game version of “where the fuck are my keys?”  A scavenger hunt where you go from room to room looking for trinket A that goes into hole B based on the always batshit insane logic of the developer.

Without Escape cranks the nutbar meter up all the way to raving lunatic with some of its logic.  You play as a dude who wakes up in his house and everyone is gone.  It tries to present itself like one of those “escape the room” games, but it fails.  It feels like any other Plicker game, right down to the stupid “pick up the items and use them in ways you would never actually use them” idea.  I’ll give you some examples.  In one scene, there’s something shiny in a toilet, but the dude refuses to put his hand in it.  Right, because when you’re in a situation where you’re alone and terrified, you’re really worried about getting a little shit on your hands.  If I’m in the dude’s situation, shit is already in my pants by this point and probably trickling down my legs, so what does it matter?

What's the number for Ghost Busters again?

But no, Mr. Prissy wants to avoid the poop in the toilet in his own bathroom (which means it’s probably his own) and needs something to reach down and get it.  Now despite being in his house, with all his belongings, he has no idea where anything he could use to get this is.  Off the top of my head, I could rattle of multiple things I could use to fish a key out of a toilet.  Right next to the bathroom is his closet, which I’m guessing has a coat hanger in it.  Just bend the coat hanger into a fishing hook and not only do you have a way to retrieve the key, but you also have an emergency abortion kit if the need ever arises.

Oh wait, the closet door is locked.  And we’re also too much of a sissy to kick the door open.  Or any door, for that matter.  Why does nobody ever kick open doors in these games?  They search around for a key that they need to accomplish some important task when their foot and the laws of physics are right there the whole fucking time!  Hell, if someone really is fucking with you, kicking doors open might be a good way to show them who the boss is.  But no, he doesn’t want to hire someone out to fix the door, so he searches around for something he can use.  And what does he find?  A sweater.  No really, that’s what you use.  He wraps his arm in a sweater to grab the key.  The character even notes that it doesn’t work all that well.  Mind you, there’s a shower curtain right fucking there next to fucking toilet!  Shower curtains being things that repel water.  I’ve worn sweaters and I live in the San Francisco Bay Area.  I promise you, they do everything BUT repel water.

I can’t really complain all that much, because this happens in every point and click game.  I can complain about the graphics.  The screen is too dark and you can’t adjust the settings for it.  In some rooms, the back walls are nearly completely enveloped in darkness.  After much complaining from Brian, I finally relented and adjusted the brightness on my television.  It didn’t help.  Stuff was still not viewable.  Stuff that apparently should have been.  I clicked in the darkness and my dude described a painting to me that I couldn’t see. It’s really annoying.

The ending is fucking abysmal too.  The game sets itself up as a psychological breakdown, but ends up going a bizarre Sci-Fi route involving the destruction the entire universe and you being handpicked to build the next one.  It makes no sense at all why they would choose to fuck with you the way they have.  Whatever.  The story sucks, but the game doesn’t really suck any more or any less than the average point and clicker.  If you’re into this type of thing, you’ll probably enjoy this.  If you’re like me and think they’re fucking stupid, it won’t change your mind.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go hide my father’s car keys again.

Without Escape was developed by MaikelChan

80 Microsoft Points inch closer towards their inheritance, one “misplaced” set of car keys at a time in the making of this review.

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28 Responses to Without Escape

  1. Awww. Poor adventure games.

  2. withalligators says:

    You didn’t like the ending, huh? You should probably sue.

  3. Guy says:

    pmsl

    This is hilarious, best video game review I ever read! Keep writing!

  4. Pingback: XBLIG Review: Rock Bottom – Aptly Named Indie Game

  5. Pingback: Quiet, Please! « Indie Gamer Chick

  6. judelynn says:

    Loved the review which kept me from losing it while playing this game. Where’s the damn lock box code? My clicking finger is tired and so is my head.

  7. Ross says:

    can someone tell me the time you enter at the clocks where the big eye is . . . .?? You know .. Before i put the controller through the tv haha:)

  8. Rebekah says:

    I have tried entering several dufferent times on the clock too. (Help)

    • Kairi Vice says:

      I think it’s 4:35, then 7:45.

      • Rebekah says:

        Tried 4:35 then 7:45 it did not work. Any other suggestions? This is driving me crazy. I appreciate any help any one can give me.

        • Kairi Vice says:

          I honestly think those are right. I really do. Did you search the clock in your bedroom and listen to the bullhorn on the second floor’s hallway before you tried to input those? It won’t work unless you’ve done things in the correct order.

          • Rebekah says:

            I looked at the clock but I did not see a bullhorn any where. Can you tell me where that is? Thank you for the help.

            • Kairi Vice says:

              It’s like a loud-speaker type thing hanging on the upper floor hallway. You have to listen to the tones it makes. Once you have listened to that, you should be good to go.

              No problem. Just be ready to be disappointed as hell by the ending. Either way, tell your friends that IndieGamerChick.com is the bestest indie game website in the world!

              • Rebekah says:

                The loud speaker did not have any tones to listen too. It just says it looks like a loudspeaker. Then it says that now all that the blood is gone he can go downstairs. I must be missing something somewhere.

  9. Rebekah says:

    Your right the ending was a big disappointment.

  10. Will says:

    I am not a fan of point and click games either. I’ve played a couple that I did kind of enjoy (Machinarium, Botanicula), more because they had an amazing whimsy storyline that kept me hooked. The whole point and click mechanics always drive me insane. First of all, why would I want to play a video game that involves just clicking things on the screen (all the while guided by key object hi-lighting). Sure, you can argue that some of such games have good storylines, but if the gameplay sucks, I might as well just read a book or watch a movie.

    I feel that video game developers (and speaking as one) go for the point and click style game because they either lack the skill required for more complex game engine design, or are too lazy to produce a game that has gameplay designed so as to convey a storyline. That’s essentially what point and click games do; they have some shallow gameplay in order to still qualify as a “game”, all the while feeding you some B-Movie storyline. There was a time when such games were justified, as computers didn’t have the processing power to produce real-time graphics like they can today. However, we now live in the 21st century, and that is no excuse for them.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating spastic-action FPS shooters which are the rage these days, I love a quiet, low-key adventure game. However, when it comes to pure point and click games, I have a ton of difficulty enjoying them.

  11. Arlette says:

    This is retarded…its not 1956 i tried it…and yes i have the full version plus i figured mines different and tried looking on his table for clues to the year and like im supposed to be reading that small type

  12. Illbleed says:

    Wow, what a shit review. You start off saying how much you dislike point and click games, then you go and review one. How surprising that you ended up hating it and criticizing things that are ridiculous to even comment on. And thanks for spoiling the ending. Like seriously now? I’ll never be reading any of your reviews again.

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