Flowrider

Flowrider is a 2D hydro-racing game and not a water sport designed around constructing sailing vessels out of used sanitary napkins.  I’ve been trying to put out this review for a week now but haven’t yet been successful.  It’s not that Flowrider is a bad game.  Perhaps it has to do with this not exactly being my type of game.  You might as well ask me what I think of baseball or Jersey Shore.

Flowrider actually is a decent game.  You choose from one of four boats and race against various amounts of AI boats across various tracks.  By the way, can you guess what was today’s word of the day on my calendar?  All movement and throttle is done with the left stick, with turbo mapped to the right trigger.  It works well, but takes a while to get used to.  Meanwhile the courses are well designed, if sometimes too short.  Early on, the AI seems too good, but it’s actually very beatable once you get used to using the turbo at the right time.

I do have several complaints.  The game doesn’t always tell you what direction you’re supposed to go at the start, so it’s not uncommon for even seasoned race players to shoot off in the wrong direction.  Also, some races only last about twenty seconds, which is annoying if you’re playing online against other people.  It would be nice to set up multiple races at once rather than be dumped back to the menu after each one.  The camera isn’t always stellar at keeping up with the action, and it’s easy to lose track of which boat belongs to you when they all bunch up.

Honestly though, it doesn’t matter.  Flowrider is just fine as a game, and I even had some fun with it.  Which is weird because I fucking hate water.  I can’t stress that enough.  I don’t know how to swim, I don’t like boats, and if you handed me a teaspoon full of water I’m pretty sure I could easily figure out a way to drown in it.  I don’t know how easy it will be to find other players to play against in Flowrider, but I think the average racing fan will get their dollar’s worth out of this.  Christ, this review fucking sucked.  Maybe I’ve lost my touch.  Alright, that’s it.  I’m going to have to start showing my boobs I guess.

Had you going there for a second, didn’t I?

Flowrider was developed by Triple B Games

80 Microsoft Points thought Flowrider is when you surf the menstrual cycle of Cthulhu in the making of this review.  

A review copy of Flowrider was provided by Triple B Games to IndieGamerChick.com in this review.  The copy played by the Chick was purchased by her with her own Microsoft Points.  The review copy was given to a friend with the sole purpose of helping the Chick test online multiplayer.  That person had no feedback in this article.  For more information on this policy, please read the Developer Support page here

I’m celebrating 50,000 unique page views by giving away 1600 Microsoft Points to one lucky follower of mine on Facebook.  All you have to do is follow me for a chance to win!  Click the link, hit “Like” and you’re in!  The drawing will be held December 1, 2011.  I don’t spam with my Facebook.  I just post article updates and the occasional “thank you” when my site hits a milestone.  So what are you waiting for?  Enter already!

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The most read Xbox Live Indie Game critic in the world.

4 Responses to Flowrider

  1. Flowrider is pretty decent, though its directional control confuses me. You nudge the stick in the appropriate screen direction rather than boat direction (so if you’re heading down the screen and want to turn right, you push left because you want to move towards the left of the screen). That messes with my head a bit too much.

    Other than that, it’s like a blander version of Glow Arcade Racer. Considering your dislike of the latter, I’m surprised you don’t hate this more.

  2. Starglider says:

    Yes that review sucked. Is the camera always overhead? If so what is the 3D bit at the end of the trailer for, just flavour? Do you have to learn the courses to have any chance (since you can’t see far ahead and the map is tiny)?

  3. Craig says:

    *keeps waiting for boobs, folding arms and tapping left foot*

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