Obsessive Collecting Disorder

I had a problem with Obsessive Collecting Disorder.  It was the name.  The name is all wrong.  It should have been called Obsessive Collective Disorder.  You see, the name is a play on the anxiety disorder known as obsessive-compulsive disorder.  It’s not obsessive compulsing disorder, because there is no such word as compulsing.  But there is a word called collective, so the game should have used it.  Sure, Obsessive Collective Disorder sounds like something that happens to a cult that undergoes a mass suicide in order to catch a ride on a UFO, but it works better as a pun.

Welcome back to Xbox Live Indie Games: Your source for self-hating gameplay.

I had one other problem with Obese Cauliflower Disorder: the game is a punisher, and I hate those fucking things.  They seem like they’re some kind of repressed anger stemming from not getting enough love as a child, manifested in video game form.  The idea is you’re a stick figure who is being put through various test chambers owned by the, and I’m not making this up, the CrAperture Corporation.  Isn’t it ironic how one of the most clever and original games to come around in a long time has somehow managed to kill the creativity of an entire generation?  Let me guess, the game will end with some kind of reference to the cake being a lie.  Oh, yep, there it is.  Very nice, guys.  What, you couldn’t work in a psychotic artificial intelligence while you were at it?  Well, at least the ending was good for a small giggle.  You know what?  I guess kleptomania falls into the OCD spectrum, so we’ll just say they were running with the theme and move on.

As a game, Opal Chin Disorder is pretty much just like any other punisher.  The idea is similar to N+.  You run around, avoiding traps and collecting coins.  The platforming mechanics are pretty basic.  A jumps, X or the right trigger run, and that’s it.  There’s no double jumps, wall jumps, ducking, sliding, doing short-form taxes, or breaking out into the chorus line from Oklahoma.  It’s just you, jumping, and shit that wants you dead, like some ingenious Olympic Committee person combined the hurdles and archery events.

Platformers live and die on controls.  If a game wants you dead, like Omnipotent Cactus Disorder does, it’s typically because the controls are shit and it’s an over-compensation thing.  In Octogenarian Colon Disorder’s case, I don’t think the controls are shit.  Brian suggested the word “serviceable” to me, but that sounds a bit too generous.  I think I’ll go with “tolerable.”  That sounds unhating yet highly critical.  The controls are just so strange.  The jumping is simultaneously too floaty yet too stiff, like a cloud on Viagra.  You do get used to it, in the same way you would probably get used to hitting your thumb with a hammer if you kept it up long enough, though it would be preferable to not do that.

The developer assured me that people told them Ornery Cardinal Disorder had tight controls. Ha. Where did they get that from? A game of Scattergories? “Things that are tight that start with the letter ‘C’. And GO!” “Oh gee um, collar! Um, cage! Uh uh uh, controls!” BUZZ! “Yes, we challenge ‘control’ and also we can’t believe you guys didn’t come up with cu..”

Everything about Obsessive Collective Disorder does just enough to not suck but not enough to wow me.  The minimalist graphics are tiring and bland.  The level design freshens things up with new obstacles every ten stages, but some of the challenges are copied and pasted far more than needed.  If this makes it seem like I hated the game, I actually didn’t.  It’s short enough to not feel like you’re taking a vacation on death row.  The level design is fair, I guess.  Ultimately, it never feels like you’re trying to shout at the tide to turn back.  It’s a punisher that feels doable.  Assuming you don’t play on Hardcore mode which gives you a limited amount of lives.  Some whack jobs might give that a chance.  Me?  Ha ha ha, no.  Still, I recommend Obsessive Collective Disorder.  Not a ringing endorsement or anything.  I guess it’s like saying “if you want to forfeit your dignity to just one Xbox Live Indie Game this week, make it this one!”

Obsessive Collecting Disorder was developed by Super Smith Bros.

80 Microsoft Points washed their hands seven times, flicked the light switch on an off seven times, then washed their hands seven more times in the making of this review.

Obsessive Collective Disorder is ranked on the Indie Gamer Chick Leaderboard.  Click here to see where it landed

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10 Responses to Obsessive Collecting Disorder

  1. I personally thought the controls were tight but then again people have different tastes when it comes to control, It seems your taste is for it to be so tight it could skin a fart.

    • I kept overshooting stuff, with and without the run held down.

      And how the hell do you skin a fart? Farts don’t have skin. Old farts do, but I would rather you not skin my daddy.

      • Well you see the idea is if your butt hole is so tight that errrrr never mind it’s a figure of speech. I call controls tight if they respond well and instantly to your input, especially the thumbsticks. Is this not what you think makes controls tight?

        • Maybe this is one of those “Kairi has trouble interpreting the usage of a word” things. The controls ARE responsive to your commands I suppose, but you have to big-time overcompensate for the controls being loose. So when you jump, your character jumps full speed ahead, and then you have to do the Joystick Jitterbug to make sure you don’t brain yourself on something when you overshoot.

          Granted, in this game’s case, it was designed around the jumping physics to a degree. There’s even stages where they put the ceiling low enough so that you can’t jump at all. But I thought most of my deaths weren’t related to the traps, but rather because the physics had at the same time too much strength or too much gravity. I did my best to explain it. Stiff I guess is the term I would use, because it feels like your controller is stuck making a hard turn when it’s not.

          • Yeah I can agree with that, I’m probably the one using the term wrong knowing my luck 😛

            • Too float yet too stiff = Just right, no? 😛

              The best way of explaining what we were going for controls wise is allowing the player to change direction at a twitch even mid-air, without the stiffness you dont get that instant feedback that makes dodging stuff easy….so its a bit of a trade-off.

              Your review put a smile on my face anyway 🙂

  2. I think you’re suffering from Obsessive Corrective Disorder.

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