Streets of Rage 1 & 2 – Sometimes It’s Just Hard to Review Video Games

I intended for this to be a Definitive Review on the Streets of Rage series, but I pulled the plug after playing six games when I intended to review nine total (with Comix Zone and a Streets of Rage mod thrown in). I’m just here to have fun and find neat things about games to talk about. But, I also accept that not every game is worth reviewing because I might not have anything particularly interesting to say about it. This can apply to good games and bad games. Perhaps it was an ominous sign that the original Streets of Rage wasn’t included in any global version of Sega Genesis mini or its sequel mini-console, but that’s not a sign I got. After I played it on my computer, I dusted-off my mini-console and grabbed my nephew to play co-op with me. And then I was stunned and confused when it wasn’t on the Genesis Mini. Wait, there’s no way they left Streets of Rage off the lineup.. right? Yep, they did. The first one at least. Streets of Rage 2 is in the first Mini while Streets of Rage 3 is the Genesis Mini 2. The first game, which launched what is one of the most recognizable classic Sega franchises, didn’t make the cut. Now granted, Sonic the Hedgehog 3 isn’t in either mini, and Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker didn’t make it in for licensing reasons. But, really? No Streets of Rage 1? And then I played it, and I was just very, very bored. Including only Streets of Rage 2 in the first mini was probably a wise choice. It is the good one.

I’m still nothing short of flabbergasted that Streets of Rage isn’t included in either version of the Sega Genesis mini. I literally plugged mine in without checking the lineup first, CERTAIN it had to be in it. It’s Streets of Frick’n Rage! Even if it aged badly, so what? One of the most jaw-dropping snubs in the relatively recent mini-console fad.

I don’t have a lot to say about the first Streets of Rage. There’s just not a lot to it, you know? There’s three characters, each with a limited move set, traversing mostly bare-bones levels while mostly fighting the same handful of enemies in unmemorable settings. During levels, I counted a total of three extracurricular elements in the entire game: a brief series of gaps that you can throw or knock enemies into, a half-elevator that you can maybe throw your enemies off of but it’s hard to do without them simply hitting the rail, and a stage with hydraulic presses. All the stages are straight lines, too, unless an elevator is involved, and that’s functionally just a static room, right? I’d say the best part is that you can grab enemies from the front, flip over them, and suplex them, but all the characters have that move. This might have been better when it first came out, but today, in 2024, Streets of Rage feels like little more than a proof of concept for Streets of Rage 2. Solid violence, but done in the most boring and basic of ways. Really, that’s my review in its entirety. It’s just a nothing game. And one that I wasn’t done with yet, because I had two mediocre 8-bit ports of an already mediocre game to go, not to mention two sequels and the two 8-bit ports of the first sequel.

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Of the six games I played, ONE was pretty dang good: Streets of Rage 2 for the Sega Genesis. Universally held-up as an all-timer, and it deserves it. Four characters instead of three, with a much larger variety of moves, and the ridiculous bomb is replaced by two health-draining special moves (one done while standing still and the other done by moving). By the way, Streets of Rage’s bomb is the most flow-killing bomb I’ve seen in a game. When you activate it, you summon a cop who drives a police car a distance behind you, who then steps out of the car and fires a rocket launcher from a distance to blow up the screen. Funny the first time because it’s just so corny, but less funny with each subsequent usage because it just stops an already sloggy game dead in its tracks. The smartest thing Sega did with the sequel was kick it to the curb, and with all the additional characters and moves (plus the fact that I could play it co-op on the TV with my nephew), I had fun with Streets of Rage 2.

I typically like using large guys in games like this, but they also tend to break my immersion when they’re able to use weapons like metal pipes or even goddamned swords. Max is twice as big as most enemies and built like the Incredible Hulk completed 95% of his transformation but the part where he turns green failed to load properly. By all rights, when he strikes an enemy with a gigantic metal pipe, it should reduce that enemy down to a puddle of sticky wet molecules. And the sword? It should cleave the poor SOB he hits in half.

But, the second Streets of Rage still suffers from being really generic. Don’t take it personally, Sega fans. I feel the same way about Violent Storm and Final Fight. All these games are kind of samey with enemies and set pieces that feel interchangeable. Streets of Rage is more famous for its soundtrack than its gameplay, and yea, the soundtrack is good. But, I don’t find the characters particularly memorable. I think if you gave a controller to someone who couldn’t see the title screens and had them play the Streets of Rage games, the Final Fight games, and Violent Storm, they could very well believe they’re all from the same series. My brain is already mixing them up, and I literally just played through six variations of two Streets of Rage games. I don’t think I could name every boss fight. Hell, the one character in the whole Streets of Rage series that stood out the most was a boss that literally looks exactly like the famous professional wrestler the Ultimate Warrior, face paint, tights, and all. I almost said “that’s really random and unexpected” but then I remembered that Final Fight had an Andre the Giant lookalike and Violent Storm had characters with face paint and spiked shoulder pads that looked exactly like the Road Warriors (aka The Legion of Doom). It feels almost like a running gag, except for the fact that none of these games are produced by the same company, and it ultimately just further serves to make all these games kind of blend together. The cities look the same. The bosses behave similarly. The destructible objects, weapons, and health refills are similar, if not the same.

Streets of Rage 2 even redoes the first game’s last boss fight, and it feels almost exactly the same: generic business guy with a machine gun. The sprites are bigger and enemies keep attacking during the battle this time, but otherwise, it feels like they just remade the climax. While I’m on the subject, didn’t Double Dragon have a guy with a machine gun at the end of the game?

Now, I like brawlers. When you absolutely NEED a cathartic game, nothing tops a side-scrolling beat-em-up, and they’re normally the easiest games to review, too. Is the violence good? Is there a decent variety of moves and/or weapons? Are the set pieces fun? Does the AI cheap shot you too much? The problem with Streets of Rage 2 is that it feels too close to other games, without any truly memorable characters or set pieces to make-up for it. That goes for both the first games in the series. Much like with the bosses, I can’t recall half the levels and I just played SIX of these games. I found settings to be really dull and forgettable. The only one that stood out was one from Streets of Rage 2 that had the strangest parallax scrolling I’ve seen, to the point that it made my sister and at least one reader of mine get a tiny bit of motion sickness. For what it’s worth, I’m not penalizing these games for being similar to Final Fight or Violent Storm. It’s the nature of the genre, and hey, I’m giving a very easy YES! to Streets of Rage 2 on the Genesis. I don’t think a game needs to be memorable to be recommendable. But, it does need stand-out moments to make for a compelling retro game review.

In the Master System version of the first game, Mr. X looks like Rudy from Funhouse turned into a real boy.

I tried to make this review work with funny anecdotes, like how I died more times from timing out in the Master System version of Streets of Rage than I did all other deaths I suffered from the Game Gear and Genesis versions combined. But after a few days of trying to write a normal review, I threw in the towel. Partially because myself and my entire family are really sick right now (as bad as I feel, I’m heartbroken for the kids, since this ruined their last two weeks of summer vacation) and I just want to sleep until I feel better, but mostly because I attempted to write multiple reviews and it became like a broken record. The four 8-bit Streets of Rage games all suffer from the same problem most bad Master System/Game Gear games have: trying to copy the 16-bit Genesis gameplay on 8-bit platforms. That mindset will always result in a lesser game, and I can’t stretch that critique into four different reviews. Back in my XBLIG days, for every game I reviewed, there were five more than I bought, played through to the end, and never wrote-up a review. I’m even worse with retro games. It’s why I have half-finished reviews for games like the Asterix coin-op, Virtual Boy’s Galactic Pinball, and Flintstones on the Sega Genesis. Sometimes a game being good or bad doesn’t matter at all because the words simply do not come to me. I shrug and move on.

The Game Gear version of Streets of Rage 1 is actually not a bad port, all things considered. But the Genesis original is such a mediocre game that it doesn’t even matter how good this port does at copying its gameplay. Even a perfect copy would still be a NO! And it’s not a perfect copy. The OOMPH is significantly dialed-back, it’s too easy to grab, and the collision on the hydraulic presses are awful.

I’d promised Streets of Rage for the Genesis’ 35th birthday, when I really should have just shrugged and moved on. Maybe someday Streets of Rage 3 will provide me with plenty to talk about (I might eventually do every Genesis Mini game), but after six games, only one of which I had fun with, I’m too burned out on Streets of Rage to play another. Even Streets of Rage 2 isn’t so interesting that I could do a typical review. Don’t mistake that for me saying it’s bad or overrated, because Streets of Rage 2 is actually really good, with my only major complaint being “the flying guy isn’t fun to fight. He’s just very annoying because he’s hard to line-up with.” At least I still had fun with it, because it’s one of the most polished and enjoyable 90s brawlers. Well, at least until the final boss fight with Mr. X on account of being a repeat of the first game. Hey, wasn’t Mr. X also the name of the final boss in Kung-Fu Master? GODDAMMIT, see what I mean? They’re all the same*.
YES! to Streets or Rage 2 for the Sega Genesis
NO! to Streets of Rage on Genesis
NO! to Streets of Rage on the Sega Master System
NO! to Streets of Rage on the Game Gear
NO! to Streets of Rage 2 on the Game Gear
NO! to Streets of Rage 2 on the Sega Master System
*They’re not.

“Is he dead this time? Get some gasoline just to be sure.”