Xena: Warrior Princess (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 23, 2024 by 2 Comments

Xena: Warrior Princess
First Released May 16, 2024
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX
Designed by Anna Lengyel
Set: Universal TV Classics ($14.99)

Special Consideration – Half-Broken Physics Options: Xena has a problem specifically limited to the “normal physics” setting in both the main modes (Classic & Arcade) and all four challenge modes. The left ramp (the third shot from the left, with the wooden bridge) has something horribly wrong with it. It’s one of the most reject-heavy ramps in Pinball FX and there’s no rhyme or reason when it will work, but it absolutely won’t work from a trapped ball shot dead solid perfect at full speed at it. The ball stops before getting to the top of the shot and is flung back down. The most basic, tried-and-true shot you can make in pinball, even if the shot literally can’t be more accurate, still doesn’t work. This is NOT affecting our overall rating of Xena, which we’re awarding our Certificate of Excellence to, but please note our review applies ONLY to “realistic physics” at this time. We consider “normal physics” played in any mode on Xena to be OUT OF ORDER. This should be an easy to spot and easy to fix patch for Zen Studios. But please be careful not to damage anything while fixing it, Zen, because right now this thing plays so good. Might want to give a longer grace period on the kickbacks, though. And tone them back too. And give Anna a high five, because she earned it with this one.

What a turnaround Xena made. Upon release, it was basically unplayable. Thanks to patchwork, the maddening difficulty was toned way the hell down, and the end result is Xena is now unquestionably one of 2024’s best pins. Let’s get the problematic aspects out of the way first. The kickbacks aren’t well done because of Zen’s continued insistence that they be violent, unpredictable trash fires. Go through all the trouble of lighting both kickbacks only to have the ball go down an outlane, be launched out and go down the OTHER outlane, be kicked back out and straight down the opposite outlane. Instances of both kickbacks being lost from a single triggering is high enough that it feels deliberate. The mini-table is, like so many Zen mini-tables, circular in shape and boring. It’s like they have a cookie-cutter template for these things, because they feel so samey and usually have similar objectives regardless of the theme of the pin.

Signature Mode – Caesar Roman Assault: Holy crap! Look at all those cardboard targets! There’s no way this has any sense of grace to it, right? WRONG! The placement is as perfect as a spam-it-all target gets. Ironically, even though you’re shooting enough people to count as a “crowd” there’s absolutely no crowding! There’s also no blocking, so there’s multiple safe angles for each target. Instead, the challenge is from the sheer volume of targets and the fact that the offensive-oriented Xena temporarily becomes a pick ‘n flick-style defensive shooter. There are lethal angles to the targets, but in that good, pinball type of way. Really nice. We all really loved this mode.

Finally, and this is a weird one that my friends and family mostly disagreed with: I didn’t find the Chakram that exciting of a shot. I have no clue why that is, either, because by all rights this should be one of the stronger skillshots and gameplay elements in Pinball FX, but it just didn’t “do it” for me. Maybe because there’s a similar shot in Marvel’s Women of Power: A-Force that just does the same thing better. Sometimes these things are inexplicable. But, with all that said, whoa! Xena is packed-full of fantastic orbits, unique modes, thrilling shots, and some of the best uses of cardboard targets in Pinball FX. The sheer volume of cardboard targets in the above mode is jaw dropping, but the angles they take aren’t designed to ice your ball. In fact, this is one of the few modern Zen tables that doesn’t feel mostly defensive in nature. This is a SHOOTERS pin, and that’s such a breath of fresh air. Even the grind isn’t that bad, and when modes require a little too many shots, at least the payouts aren’t ridiculously back-loaded. In fact, I think Xena’s rule sheet might be its greatest triumph. The scoring is fine-tuned to scientific perfection in a way that would make Lyman Sheats proud. Anna Lengyel’s Homeworld is going to be lambasted by us, but it’s Xena that proves that she’s an elite pinball designer.
Cathy: MASTERPIECE (5 out of 5)
Angela: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Oscar: MASTERPIECE
Jordi: GREAT
Sasha: GREAT
Dash: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Elias: GOOD (Nintendo Switch)
Primary Pinball FX Scoring Average: 4.16 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Nintendo Switch Scoring Average: 4.2 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜

Pictured: something not as exciting as you would hope. Makes for a fun track toy, though. This is kin to Getaway’s supercharger, but not a SHOT that you have to factor in.

Filed under Pinball Tagged with , , , , , , , , , ,

Crypt of the NecroDancer (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 12, 2024 by Leave a comment

Crypt of the Necrodancer BackglassCrypt of the NecroDancer
Pinball FX Debuting Pin
First Released April 13, 2023
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX
Designed by Gergely ’Gary’ Vadocz
Stand Alone Release ($5.49 MSRP)
Links: Pinball FX Wiki

For all the crap I’m about to give Crypt of the NecroDancer Pinball, it received a Clean Scorecard from my team. A very difficult task, especially considering that all six “Primary” Pinball FX players (IE non-Nintendo Switch) submitted a rating and nobody thought it deserved less than a GOOD rating. My team consists of three millennials/Gen-Xers, a 75 year old retiree, and two children. All of us gave it a positive rating. This is a quality pin. Now, whether or not it reached its fullest potential is another matter.

Based on the indie stalwart that I’ve never really played, because my ability to keep a beat is right up there with my ability to do a Vince Carter 360 windmill jam. Thankfully, you don’t HAVE to be able to keep a beat in this pinball take on it, even though the game talks about it. Really, you just have to shoot whichever shot is lit and/or then shoot the shots where a C (for COMBO) is lit, which builds the coin multiplier, which increases the value of shots, defeated enemies, and bosses. Instead of thinking of this as a rhythm pinball game, think of it as musical chairs pinball. You just have to beat the modes before the music runs out. Jordi said this shares more DNA with something like Safe Cracker than it does with the indie it’s based off of, and he’s right. Now, we rank Safe Cracker second-to-last behind only Han Solo as the worst overall Pinball FX table, so that might sound like a bad thing. It’s not. The only difference is when the time runs out in Safe Cracker, you don’t automatically lose the game. Here, the ball dies if you haven’t completed the current task before the music stops. There’s no overtime, and that absolutely sucks. And what’s especially lousy is they have a perfectly logical penalty already in place. When you finish the mode, whatever music is left can be spent shooting jackpots or entering the store to spend diamonds. Missing out on that is punishment enough. You don’t have to kill them too. It’s rude!

Signature Element – Digital Targets: A few Pinball FX and Pinball M tables use what we’ve dubbed “digital targets.” Moving characters that aren’t cardboard targets, usually in the form of full characters. World War Z, Solo, Chucky’s Killer Pinball, and so forth have them. Crypt has probably the best ones. They’re not spongy, which is a major plus. In fact, this is one of the least grindy tables in Pinball FX. Except for collecting diamonds. That’s grindy, needlessly risky, and boring.

Mind you, there’s no actual numeric timer, which would be a nice concession for hearing-impaired players. That’s why it’s especially funny that I played a lot better when I muted the game (I often play all games muted) and just shot like I would any other table. I even broke five out of six available records on the Nintendo Switch version without hearing a single note. Angela, who wears headphones and listens to music when she plays pinball, was also frustrated by the lack of a visual timer. The layout is simple, with the highlight being digital targets based on enemies from the indie game that you smack. The digital targets are an absolute joy to shoot. They never feel like a chore. The orbits are all satisfying to hit. But, there’s so many needlessly merciless moments. Like the diamonds. I’ve had many instances where I broke the brick that was hiding them and made the collection, only it then dropped the ball straight down the f’n drain. Off a made, incentivized shot. Crypt should have been an all-time classic in the annals of Zen Studios, but it’s merely okay because of wanton cruelty. The slingshots aren’t necessarily lethal, but they do burn off a lot of time. It’s not rare at all for the ball to get stuck in an extended volley between them. It looks like the slingshots are playing hot potato with each-other. Crypt doesn’t exactly feel lifelike, as the ball feels both too heavy while also gliding around like a hockey puck, and sometimes that’s good and sometimes that’s bad.

Signature Mode – Mini Table: I love the idea here, but the execution spoils the fun. It’s like a dueling pinball where the gravity reverses at the midway point of the table, and you’re trying to shoot the opponent’s drain. But, the physics are rough as hell. When the ball drains on your side, it’s supposed to be pushed back up into play, presumably by a burst of air. But sometimes the mechanism or physics fail and the ball falls immediately back down into the drain. Maybe it’ll go up and down without curving towards the flippers, but more often it doesn’t even clear the drain before it goes back down, costing you more chances if it’s a bonus room or your health if it’s the third boss. This isn’t something you could have flipped to save. The ball didn’t even make it that high. It’s literally inside the drain when whatever happens causes it to fall again. This happens constantly, and I try not to get angry at this type of thing, but this one got me because it’s just so lazy. Plus, it didn’t need to be this way in the first place. When the ball drains, the ball could have been teleported to the lane and the player loses health or chances, or have a VUK in the corner that spits the ball back out. Those options come with zero risk of mechanical or physics engine failure. No player can ever become frustrated by it and rendered less likely to purchase more Pinball FX tables. But, instead of doing that, nah, just a little puff of air that may or may not work. It’s one of those design choices so obviously bad that you can practically hear the designer saying “eh, maybe it just pops back up. Or not. Who cares? It’s only pinball!”

The center orbit (third from the left) is where the ball exits the shop, and once in a while, it just drops the ball straight down the drain (this effect is multiplied in the Switch version, where it happens so frequently it’s practically expected). Yes, you can nudge to defend it, but this one of those tables where the angles are tailor-made to push the ball towards the lane rails, and also the automatic ball serve might actually just roll so that you can just barely kiss the ball with the very tip of the flipper. I have no clue why they continuously do this type of thing, but on a table with a strict time limit that wants you to shoot to the beat of the music, shouldn’t the challenge have come from making shots? Even on an experimental table, their designers would rather do everything they can possibly do to prevent you from controlling the ball. They want you to make shots to the beat of the music, but they also want to make it as hard as possible to get off a shot. The absolute worst possible thing is someone holding the ball with the flipper. They couldn’t even let that mentality go this one time on a table that’s trying to do something no pinball table has ever done before. At this point, you have to wonder if Zen Studios design staff hobbles around on crutches on account of their constant shooting themselves in the foot. I wanted to give this a BAD rating because of the hostility towards ball control, but I couldn’t. The targets are too fun. The orbits are. The modes are. They’re so much fun that the story isn’t “Crypt of the NecroDancer barely gets a Clean Scorecard.” It’s “Crypt of the NecroDancer should have entered the Pantheon and it didn’t come close.”
Crypt of the Necro Dancer SmallCathy: GOOD (3 out of 5) THE PITS* on Nintendo Switch (1 out of 5)
Angela: GOOD – (BAD on Nintendo Switch, 2 out of 5)
Oscar: GOOD (GOOD on Nintendo Switch)
Jordi: GOOD
Dash: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Sasha: GREAT (GREAT on Nintendo Switch)
Elias: GREAT (Nintendo Switch)
Primary Scoring Average: 3.33 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹
Switch Scoring Average: 2.8 – GOOD
*On Switch this thing dumps ball down the drain like crazy. Orbits that you can confidently shoot in the primary versions of Pinball FX kill you in this version. It needs work.
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

Filed under Pinball Tagged with , , , ,

Captain America (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 12, 2024 by Leave a comment

Captain America
First Released June 28, 2011
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX
Designed by Viktor Gyorei
Set: Marvel Pinball Collection 1 ($23.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki

Kickback – Sasha (Before Cathy changed her vote to GOOD): Of the two World War II-themed tables in Pinball FX, I like Captain America a lot more than I like Brothers in Arms. Cap isn’t as difficult and better mimics a table that feels like you’re sneaking around a battlefield. The knock-about capture ball is perfectly used in the Sparring mode, and while I might be alone, I think the Adhesive X mode is unique and fun. The bumpers probably shouldn’t be as hard to get to as they are and the skill shot is confusing and weak, but I like Captain America. Why wasn’t this in the Arcade1Up?

I wanted to love Captain America. I love the comics. I love the movies. I’m a pro Superman and Captain America weirdo who likes an unambiguous goodie two shoes in comics. Eventually I grew to tolerate Zen’s pinball take on Cap, but it took a couple years and a niece who likes this pin a lot more than I do to convince me I was wrong about it. It just feels haphazard. I can only think of one table that I valleyed more balls while trying to shoot a loop and that’s Ripley’s Believe it or Not! for Pinball Arcade (Dead by Daylight on Pinball M has since joined those ranks). The giant ramp on the left side of the table is one of the most rejection heavy in Pinball FX, and that sucks because it looks so cool. Captain America is also one of the most damning offenders of Zen going overboard on animations and “screwing around” as sometimes the wait to start shooting again when you start a mode is agonizing. Even worse: when you get the ball back, every single table light ripples for a brief moment while you’re trying to figure out what the actual, lit targets are, and frankly there’s too many modes that take too many shots.

Signature Mode – Ambush: Reminding me of an old boardwalk type of mechanical novelty game, the object of this is to use your shield to block the balls. The incoming one is lit, and it might actually be the easiest mini-game among the Marvel pins.

It’s not a total wash, as the idea of rescuing the Howling Commandos, each of whom adds a unique buff to the gameplay, is one I’d like to see more of. Unlike the buffs in Blade, only one is equipped at time, and even better, these ones are actually very well balanced. Even one that does a 30x score multiplier isn’t over-powered because it only applies to target shots and not mode points. The buffs are that good kind of maddening, because each is enticing enough that it’s actually something you have to weigh risk/reward instead of the choice being so self-evident that you’d be a fool to choose anything else. I also like that you have to shoot the knock-about capture ball to shuffle through the Commandos you’ve earned. That’s the best shot on the table. It never gets old. The buff system, along with a few genuinely fun shots, carried Captain America over the finish line for me. Even with kickbacks literally aimed at the slingshots, which themselves are aimed at the drain. Cap features a couple pretty decent modes, like shooting the knock-about to simulate a fist fight with Red Skull. It actually does feel like the pinball version of punching a lot more than Champion Pub. Yea, Captain America is pretty janky, but it’s almost endearing for it. Which isn’t to say they should try for jank in the future. If not for the jank, Captain might be the best Marvel pin instead of being near the bottom of my GOOD pile.
Cathy: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Angela: BAD (2 out of 5)
Oscar: BAD
Jordi: BAD
Sasha: GOOD
Overall Scoring Average: 2.4 – BAD
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

Filed under Pinball Tagged with , , , , ,

Boba Fett (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 12, 2024 by Leave a comment

Boba Fett
First Released February 27, 2013
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Star Wars Pinball
Designed by Zoltan Vari
Set: Star Wars Pinball Collection 1 ($23.99)
Links: Strategy Guides – Pinball FX Wiki

I have no idea how anyone has fun with this thing. Right now, my best theory is it just looks like it’s going to be fun, and maybe even historically fun. Even though I already know Boba Fett is one of the worst tables in Pinball FX, every single time I see a screenshot, for just a brief second, my brain says “damn, that looks really fun.” It’s an actual succubi that lures you in and then eats you alive. There’s never been a table that looks as good as Boba Fett that plays as bad as Boba Fett.

Boba Fett is one of two Pinball FX tables that plays so incredibly, unfathomably poorly that you’d swear it was a different company besides Zen Studios that produced it. It always leaves me dumbfounded when this table shows up on anyone’s “best of” list. It’s like we’re playing completely different tables. First off, the slope feels too steep, and so the table runs very fast. The around-the-world orbits dive-bomb into the drain like they’ve lost their will to live. It doesn’t help that the table is a total brick-layer. The ball feels like it has a wobble, making already tough shots that much tougher since the ball can’t complete them. The ramps are the most incredibly rejection-heavy of any older pin, especially the two corner ramps. I’ve had flush, full-power shots still eat a rejection. For a table with a ball speed permanently stuck on HOLY SH*T, it sure takes forever for a ball to return off one of those rejections, too. It’s like space time itself folds around the top of the table to add three times the visible length. It’s Star Wars so I suppose you can’t rule this out.

Signature Shot – Ball Lock: In order to start Mandalorian Multiball, you have to turn off Boba Fett and boot-up the much better table Mandalorian. No wait, actually you have to get his ship, Slave I, to land on the board then lock one ball at a time three times. This and the teeter-totter shot that’s a fixture on the playfield are Boba Fett’s only good shots. See, I’m not a total hater. Of course, the multiball that happens when you lock all three balls sucks, because this table isn’t made to play multiball. Hell, I’m not sure it was made to play one ball.

Honestly, I think there’s something wrong with the physics of Boba Fett, because these are easily the worst ramps among legacy tables in Pinball FX. There’s just no consistency to them, and the ball speed just feels incorrect in general. Passes I can easily make on other tables I can’t here. As for the central orbits, they might as well be ramps since a giant chasm cuts through the top of the table that your ball can easily fall into. The slings are violent, tilted to an absurd angle, and feature hair triggers. There’s some neat ideas here, like the “choose your difficulty” Bounty system. I just wish it were on a better table. What’s here was enough newest Vice Family member Sasha and honorary Vice Jordi to keep Boba Fett out of the cellar (and actually both are in agreement that Boba Fett isn’t THAT bad and if the slingshots were fixed, this layout might earn from them a mild GOOD). As for the rest of the Vices, it was between this, Classic Collectables, and Han Solo for worst Star Wars table. It took me a long time to get here (I used to have this table rated BAD), but I actually now think this has emerged as the Star Wars table I want to play the least. Not the worst, mind you. That’s undoubtedly, undeniably, unequivocally Han Solo. But at least with Han Solo I’ll have fun laughing with my family at how crap it is. Boba Fett is all brutality and no charm. Just a terrible, no good, very bad table. And now that I’ve finished this review and never have to play it again, I can finally close the book on Boba Fett. See, I did a thing there. I’m sure you got it.
Cathy: THE PITS (1 out of 5)
Angela: THE PITS
Oscar: THE PITS
Jordi: BAD (2 out of 5)
Sasha: BAD
Elias: THE PITS (Star Wars Pinball)
Overall Scoring Average: 1.3* 💩CERTIFIED TURD💩
Primary Scoring Average: 1.4 💩CERTIFIED TURD💩
Star Wars Pinball Scoring Average: 1.4 💩CERTIFIED TURD💩
*Nintendo Switch version is, more or less, identical to all other platforms.
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

Filed under Pinball Tagged with , , , , ,

Blade (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 11, 2024 by 1 Comment

Blade
First Released December 8, 2010
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX
Designed by Imre “Emeric” Szigeti
Set: Marvel Pinball Collection 1 ($23.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki

Oddly enough, only a handful of the Marvel pins actually attempt to feel like they’re tied to comic books. You’d think Blade would be one of those that didn’t, but it’s really second only to Spider-Man in creating that comic-like energy using fonts and key art. We really like how this looks.

Blade does two things really well. First, it’s a pretty good tribute to early-to-mid 90s William/Bally tables. A clean, simple layout that flows really nice. Second, as stated above, this is a no doubt about it COMIC BOOK pin in the same way that Ed Kryinski’s Incredible Hulk (1979 Gottlieb) and Amazing Spider-Man (1980 Gottlieb) were. Blade isn’t anywhere near as good as Zen’s take on Spidey, but it’s a damn good table. Modes zip right on by after a couple shots, instead of the typical Zen grind. A novel monetary system allows you to buy a variety of upgrades, like kickbacks and extended ball save for the cowardly, or high-yielding scoring opportunities. Oh, and this could have easily been Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest Pinball. The table shifts from day to night and back again, with modes and bonuses exclusive to each. This could have come across as gimmicky, but it actually does work thanks to balancing what is and isn’t available during each cycle.

Signature Feature – Day/Night Cycles: All the missions (main modes) must be done during night by shooting the Lawlor Trail between the flippers, which is a shockingly tough shot. Night also has some of the best hurry-ups in Pinball FX, where you have to shoot specific lanes to slay vampires for money. The shop where you spend that money is only open during the day, along with the path to the valuable items. Our main knock with the day/night concept is that the clock for it is on the left slingshot. It would have been really great to have a separate ticking clock somewhere. Make it optional if people are afraid about ruining the purity of the visuals.

Blade’s layout looks conservative, but actually, it’s one of the more elegant and deceptively complex shooters we’ve seen from Zen. And that’s just the layout! The rules are very ambitious, with RPG-like mechanics such as stamina, money, upgrades, and collecting items. You build your Stamina (and avoid shots that drain it) so that you get more time to complete the modes. If there’s a problem with Blade, it’s that it’s the rare Zen table that doesn’t quite have enough shots. What shots are here are perfectly fine, but it can wear thin in extended play. It’s also very conservative in scoring, but without any of the balance that type of scoresheet requires. It makes Blade a table where shooting combos is just as exciting as making jackpots, which might not necessarily be a good thing because it means excitement doesn’t build. It’s incidental, and that’s before I get to an absurdly overpowered scoring device so wildly imbalanced that it broke my father and has me cracking up. It’s a whole new level of badly balanced.

Signature Element – Citadel: This mini-table is where you collect the items. This is one of those kinds where you have to poke the ball off the correct rail. It’s the second one from the bottom that you want to light (which is done via the spinner), though it’s also that item which completely throws Blade’s scoring balance out of whack. You’ll see why..

During a day cycle, the path between the flippers will take you to the Citadel instead of the mode start. Trust me, you’ll want to go here first. There’s four total items. One adds 100 points to every score, which is basically worthless. One cuts the cost of items in half, while one cuts the amount of mode start targets you need to hit in half. Those two are good ideas. The fourth and final item, Azu’s Belt, doubles all scoring permanently. Wow. Yea, that’s insane and I have no way to spin that where it makes any sense. It badly hurts Blade’s flexibility, because the only logical strategy to start the game is work towards getting the belt as soon as possible. I don’t think it’s a deal breaker, but it does sting quite a bit. While I think this does a better job than most at ambitious RPG-like gameplay, I kinda wish they’d just stuck with the old school gameplay with new-school surroundings layout. It’s one of my favorite designs, but Blade throws a lot at you and the results are more mixed than a table that shoots this well should be.
Special Consideration – Nintendo Switch: On Switch, Blade has orbits aimed straight at the drain, which doesn’t happen in the Primary Pinball FX builds. They need to fix this, since you need to hit those shots sometimes. Until then, we consider the Switch version to be ⚠OUT OF ORDER⚠
Cathy: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Angela: GREAT
Oscar: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Jordi: GREAT
Sasha: GOOD
Primary Scoring Average: 3.6 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

Filed under Pinball Tagged with , , , , , , , , , ,

Biolab (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 11, 2024 by Leave a comment

Biolab
First Released October 27, 2010
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX 3
Designed by Imre “Emeric” Szigeti
Set: Zen Originals Collection 1 ($15.99)
Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki

One of those tables where the art is both fantastic and the art direction was taken too far because it’s so tough to know what you’re supposed to do.

Do you know what Biolab’s #1 problem is? It’s too visually loud, to the point that, if you’re not playing with true table dimensions in vertical mode, it’s too hard to see what shots are lit and which aren’t. Shame, because Biolab feels like a child-friendly training wheels-type table, but I couldn’t possibly recommend it to newcomers. It’s just too confusing. The central feature, a big tube with roto-targets, is one of Zen’s most smackable drivers. That shot would be their Attack From Mars saucer, or Medieval Madness castle, if they had painted this more elegantly. This is one of those rare pins where the art is so gaudy that it’s hard to figure out what exactly you’re shooting, because NOTHING stands out. If you rely on light-chasing, this might be one of the toughest pins to figure out, even with a guide. Of all the Zen Originals, this is the one that took me the longest to figure out. Then came the vertical camera angles, and suddenly Biolab was a highly playable table that went from “difficult to follow” to “difficult to shoot.” I actually mean that to be a good thing, by the way.

Signature Target – Roto-Target on Steroids: Most roto-targets have to be shot to move. Biolab’s triple-stacked roto-target is the mode start for Biolab and works like the reels of a slot machine. Hitting all three segments will begin a mode. This makes for a VERY fun target.

I think a bigger problem is that the modes aren’t all equally difficult. “Brains” is a rotating maze video mode that’s basically a lay-up. “Wisdom” requires you to make three skillshots (use the nudge), but it’s easy to clock the plunger since there’s a power meter (more of that please, Zen). Muscles and Reflexes are the only two shooting modes, and they’re pretty tough, actually. Muscles requires you to hit enough targets before your stamina falls to 0, while reflexes is a two-ball multiball on a table that really isn’t made for multiball. Then you get to the final wizard mode, which features what I believe is Zen’s first magnetic playfield element. Hoo boy, yea.. I totally get why even the most staunch Zen fans were a little nervous about their adaptation of Addams Family’s magnetic playfield. The magnets are too chaotic and unfair, giving you a wizard mode that really comes down to dumb luck. Even worse: if you ball out during it, you have to keep playing until you win. It came THIS CLOSE to dropping Biolab into the BAD column for me. I like the table’s shot selection enough to keep its head barely above water.
Cathy: GOOD
Angela: GREAT
Oscar: GOOD
Jordi: GOOD
Dash: GREAT
Sasha: GOOD
Overall Scoring Average: 3.3 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

Filed under Pinball Tagged with , , , , ,

Battlestar Galactica (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 11, 2024 by Leave a comment

Battlestar Galactica
Pinball FX Debuting Pin
First Released May 16, 2024
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX
Designed by Andras “Babar” Klujber
Set: Universal TV Classics ($14.99)

Okay, okay, I admit it. When the Universal TV Classics pack was announced, I rolled my eyes so much that I could see the wrinkles in my brain. But, they ended up with three pins that felt like they came from a place of inspiration. Statistically speaking, this is the lowest ranked of the three, and it just won a Clean Scorecard (excluding Switch). That really tells you how good that set is, even if I didn’t care for Knight Rider at all.

In terms of layout, Battlestar is in an elite class. It flows really well and any one shot can transition seamlessly to any other. Even better is the table’s toughest shot, the ramp leading to the Cylon, is tough enough and risky enough that it becomes satisfying to hit, and it does this without resorting to cheapshots. I just wish the rules were a lot less confusing. There’s too many non-essential lights going at once. While this might lend itself better to making your own strategy, it also makes it more difficult for newcomers to use lights to complete modes. The decision to have so many mini-modes that stack with main modes, in a table this visually loud, might not have been the wisest. Otherwise, the atmosphere is spot-on with the various color-coded room lights that change the tone and feel of the pin. That should have been enough without piling on the added distractions of too many mini-modes.

Signature Element – Mood Lighting: One of the unique aspects of Battlestar is that the colors change depending on the mode you’re playing. It works pretty good, too. It gives Battlestar that cheesy space opera quality you’d hope for if you’re going to develop this kind of licensed pin.

While the layout is solid, we all struggled to become more enthused about Battlestar. Even Oscar, who was a big fan of the show, struggled to put into words why the table just feels kind of middle-of-the-pack, ultimately settling on the pin feels kind of directionless. Which is ironic because the most memorable mode is shooting orbits to aim a ship at the right coordinates and then hit the FTL hole to make it travel. It’s solid. The whole table is solid. Of course, “solid” is usually the word I use to describe something that’s certainly good, but nothing special. It feels like everything here is technically well developed to the point that it’s hard to find too much to complain about, even if I’m not having as much fun as it seems like I should be having. Solid. Oh, and there’s also some minor scoring imbalances tied to some high-yielding bumper scoring bursts that pay-off more than most modes. Battlestar is decent. It’s not there yet. It’s GOOD, so say we all. They told me I had to use that line so I assume Battlestar fans get it. I’ve never seen the show, but judging from the older people here (Dash and Oscar) who have, I’m guessing it wouldn’t help.
Cathy: GOOD
Angela: GOOD
Oscar: GOOD
Jordi: GOOD
Dash: GOOD
Sasha: GOOD
Elias: BAD (Nintendo Switch)
Primary Scoring Average: 3.0 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹
Nintendo Switch Scorecard: 2.8 – GOOD
Overall Scoring Average: 2.85 – GOOD
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

Filed under Pinball Tagged with , , , ,

Attack From Mars (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 11, 2024 by 2 Comments

Attack From Mars
First Released December, 1995
Zen Build Released December 4, 2018
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX 3
Coin-Op Designed by Brian Eddy
Conversion by Thomas Crofts
Set: Williams Pinball Collection 1 ($23.99)
Links: Internet Pinball Database Listing – Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki

Angela on Attack from Mars: Attack from Mars is Thanksgiving dinner with my family. It’s weekends with my friends. It’s Christmas morning with the family I’ll make for myself some day. Attack from Mars will always be tied to most of my happiest memories. The table I use when I need to unwind. The table I use to organize my thoughts and find perspective when I’m feeling lost. My own little space. Just me, Attack from Mars, and my state of being. I can’t imagine any other table being all that and more. It even helped me learn math faster. I have Dyscalculia, which is kind of like dyslexia for numbers and math. Attack from Mars didn’t cure it. It didn’t even make it better. Instead, it contributed to my determination to overcome it. I loved this table so much that I wanted to be able to play it by myself and know how good my score was without asking Cathy or our father. My family tells everyone that Attack from Mars taught me how to play pinball, but they’re wrong. They taught me how to play pinball. Attack from Mars just happened to be my classroom, in more ways than one.

Shrug. It’s Attack From Mars! What can I say about it? While it’s not my personal favorite table, it’s the only pin I’ve ever considered to be perfect. Literally perfect. Perfect layout. Perfect sound effects and call-outs. Perfect scoring balance. Any player of any age or experience can walk up to Attack From Mars and enjoy a round of pinball, with no asterisk or strings attached. It’s simple and straightforward, but very challenging. The saucer is THE undisputed greatest driver in the history of the sport, and from there, it slowly eases players into the notion of greater goals and advanced modes. AFM defies any of the labels we’ve created to classify a table, yet it also matches all of them. It requires the precision aim of a Sharpshooter, but it offers gigantic flexibility to create your own strategy, like a Pick ‘n Flick. You can elegantly shoot combos and string together sequence shots, like a Finesse table, but it’s also a pinball machine where your main challenge will be taking control of the ball, like a Kinetic. Whatever your taste in pinball, and whatever era you love, you can have fun. There’s not a lot of pinball machines you can say that about.

Signature Shot – The Saucer: Attack from Mars’ iconic saucer is one of the all-time satisfying targets. The sound design played a big part of that, but I think the gate is understated. You almost breathe a sigh of relief when you lower that gate (assuming you don’t burn your Stroke of Luck on it right off the bat). It’s one of the more nail-biting shots around. Deceptively dangerous. Once the gate is lowered, nothing beats hearing the damage that each shot inflicts. Do a double or even triple shot on the saucer? Ahhh, that’s the good stuff.

If I have to think of something to not like about Attack from Mars, gosh.. okay, I guess the video mode is kind of underwhelming. Go figure that got recycled in Junk Yard, right? And everyone else disagrees with me about it anyway. I mean, even my video mode hating father likes it. I have no complaints about this interpretation from physical to digital. Zen Studios has created a port that I feel accurately replicates the fast-rolling, frantic white-knuckle gameplay. Even the issues Pinball FX has with bounce don’t feel present here. You can tell they realized this was a table they absolutely had to get right, and they did. No, Attack From Mars isn’t my #1 table, but it’s the table I owe the most to, for it was Attack From Mars that turned Angela into a legitimate pinball player. No, change that. It turned her into a phenomenal pinball player, and it assured the Vice Family’s love of silverball didn’t end with my father and I. For that, it will always have my gratitude.
Cathy: MASTERPIECE (5 out of 5)
Angela: MASTERPIECE (#1 Rated Pinball FX Table)
Oscar: MASTERPIECE
Jordi: MASTERPIECE
Dash: MASTERPIECE
Sasha: MASTERPIECE
Dave: MASTERPIECE (Pinball FX3)
Elias: MASTERPIECE (Pinball FX3)
Overall Scoring Average: 5.0*  🏛️PANTHEON INDUCTEE🏛️
Pinball FX Scoring Average: 5.0 🏛️PANTHEON INDUCTEE🏛️
*Pinball FX3′ Williams tables run slightly different.
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

 

Filed under Pinball Tagged with , , , ,