Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest (NES Review) Includes Review of Quality of Life ROM Hack

Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest
aka Dorakyura II: Noroi no Fūin

Platform: Nintendo Entertainment System, Famicom Disk System
Released August 28, 1987 (FDS) November 24, 1988 (NES)
Directed by Hitoshi Akamatsu
Developed by Konami
Included in Castlevania Anniversary Collection

If you’re saying “hey, wait a second, I don’t remember that map in the game” I would advise you to read past my verdict as I talk about quality of life ROM hacks, including the one I used for this review.

Disclaimer: I used a quality of life ROM hack for this review, but one that I feel didn’t fundamentally change the developer’s intent. There was no rebalancing of the experience system or the rate of hearts being dropped, no enemy rebalancing, no level design changes, and no changes to the items. The big changes were quicker day/night transitions, a better translated script, and more invincibility frames when you get hit. For the full review on the ROM hack I used, “Castlevania II English Re-translation (+Map)” by bisqwit, keep reading past my main verdict. NOTHING in the ROM hack I used changes how I feel about this game, so this is my definitive review of Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest, a game I’ve been putting off reviewing for two years.

Castlevania II has some of the worst Metroidvania-style maps in gaming history. Just totally nonsensical design that neither lends itself particularly well to exploration or action. There’s moments like this, where the path branches out into two paths that will eventually merge anyway, and the commonplace enemies just shamble back and forth instead of having enemies tailored to this area of the game.

Put yourself in the shoes of director Hitoshi Akamatsu and the team behind Simon’s Quest. When the original Castlevania was nearing completion, they must have had some idea that they just created an absolute masterpiece and legitimate contender for the best game on the Famicom/NES up to that point. Not only that, but in Castlevania, they had a game with obvious global appeal and sequel potential up the wazoo. A game that lends itself specifically to sequels from a development point of view, since Castlevania is a LOT simpler than most people realize on face value. It nailed the theme, combat, item design, enemy design, and enemy placement (a seriously underrated factor towards any game’s masterpiece status), but it also features level design that’s actually fairly conservative. Hell, there’s a stage that doesn’t even have a single pit to jump over. The boldest it gets is in the final stage, which is by far the shortest. So they left a LOT of room to grow while staying within a traditional linear format.

Later, you get Dracula’s ring. I wasn’t sure if I was trying to slay him or marry him.

While I admire this sequel’s ambition, it feels like it tries to be too big for its own britches. Simon’s Quest is a very early, very primitive example of a Metroidvania. The irony is, it would be the franchise’s next attempt at this formula that would cement the “Vania” part of the genre’s name with Symphony of the Night. That tells you everything you need to know about how successful Simon’s Quest was despite the fact that it predates Symphony of the Night by just under a full decade. I’m sure they made this game with the best of intentions, but it’s actually remarkable how the direct sequel to Castlevania, a game that got pretty much everything right, manages to get nothing right from a gameplay perspective. It strips out everything that made the first game fun EXCEPT the theme and the most basic combat. It’s fascinating for sure, and it’s also got fans out there which (shrug) I mean, everything has fans. Joe Dirt had enough fans that Crackle did a f*cking sequel to it. What I don’t get is how someone who loved the first game can feel any connection between the two games that isn’t purely superficial.

This is the type of confusing thing that doesn’t bother me. When this came out, especially in the United States, the poor translation made some of the items confusing on how they worked. That sucks and I feel sorry for gamers back then, but it’s not 1988 anymore. There’s strategy guides, like the one I used that’s so useful I got the best ending on my first attempt, though I admit I used rewind to undo false floor GOTCHA traps. But hell, even emulator-based cheating shows that players have plenty of options for solutions if they get stuck or jerked around by the game design. The question I’m asking with this review is “how good is Simon’s Quest when you strip away all the bullsh*t and get down to the nitty gritty gameplay?”

And I’m not even talking about the infamous mistranslated script with its obscure hints, or the agonizingly slow transition from day to night that interrupts gameplay. I just played a version of Simon’s Quest without those things. Once upon a time, they might have been a problem, but after playing through this twice for this feature without those factors, I’ve come to the conclusion they were never *THE* problem. And the Metroidvania formula obviously isn’t a bad idea since the franchise would get its second wind via that genre in the 90s and 2000s. The problem is there’s a total lack of polish to Castlevania II that’s likely the result of a very short development cycle. This was released less than a year after the first game, which is insane given the scope and ambition they had for Simon’s Quest. Instead of just making your way from Point A to Point B, you now have to do things like kneel at a lake while possessing a specific color crystal ball, which will cause the screen to lower and reveal a hidden pathway. Re-read that last sentence. Doesn’t that sound like a game that took at least a year-and-a-half to develop, and not a matter of months?

I won’t claim there’s NO satisfaction in seeing this happen. It’s a cool reveal! I just wish they’d taken their time with the entire quest. You can’t do a 100 meter dash with a game this ambitious!

The rush job explains the total lack of polish and lack of fine-tuned enemy attack patterns and placement. The result is Simon’s Quest is a game with no tempo or flow to it. This can also largely be blamed on the Metroidvania format, which they clearly didn’t know how to build around. For example, the leveling-up system is based not on killing enemies but picking up the hearts they drop. The problem is enemies don’t always drop hearts. While I have no objection to using RNG for currency or item drops, I don’t like the idea of experience points being all-or-nothing RNG random chance. It’s bad game design to leave luck up to heaven. It really doesn’t help that the variety of enemies doesn’t work in a Metroidvania. With one or two small exceptions, none of the enemies feel particularly optimized for the environments they’re placed in. The enemies feel completely arbitrary and often don’t feel like there was much consideration for logic in their design, locations, or attack patterns. Too many just kind of shamble back and forth. The only time I ever felt a sense of danger in the entire game were a few moving block jumps.

Near the end of the game, I was still only up to level three even though I slayed every enemy that I crossed paths with. This meant enemies were especially spongy. As a result, I found myself grinding on these guys, who had high full-heart payouts, to get my level up, and in doing so, I almost cost myself the perfect ending. I beat Dracula as a level 5 (max is 6) on the seventh day/night cycle, which is the very last one that scores you a perfect ending. By the way, that shield I’m holding is actually Dracula’s rib. Of all the bones in the human body, that would not be my first choice for a shield, but I never found Dracula’s hip. Sasha the Kid: “maybe they meant it’s his RIB CAGE and they screwed that up too.” Okay, I can buy that.

What’s strange is that the XP system actually does have a thoughtfulness that’s designed to eliminate the potential for screw grinding. Once you beat enemies in a certain section, they won’t fill up your XP anymore regardless of whether they drop hearts. You have to be near where the next mansion is at, or maybe even inside the next mansion. Also, enemies you’ve already fought become stronger as the game goes along. These are positive ideas, but the cast of enemies just aren’t as fun to battle in these environments. Maybe if they had cut and pasted the entire Castlevania 1 combat system it could have worked, but they didn’t. The whip is back, and although it’s still kind of satisfying, it doesn’t feel quite as impactful as Castlevania 1 or Castlevania III’s whip cracks. Complementary sub-weapons like the axe or boomerang are gone completely, while the holy water loses its combat effectiveness and becomes actively annoying thanks to being so heavily incorporated into the exploration elements. Only the dagger really carried over from the first game, and that’s by far the item I enjoy using the least in Castlevania games. Go figure, right?

One of the new items, the diamond, is just really weak and lacking in the satisfaction of unleashing boomerangs or the axe. It just sort of bounces around. Meanwhile, the sacred fire is overpowered as f*ck. I beat the game with it.

But I think it’s really the level design that drops Simon’s Quest into gaming’s sewer. These are boring maps, and without the pitch perfect enemy placement of Castlevania 1, the sense of claustrophobia the first game had is completely missing. I didn’t really mind the confusing navigation or the backtracking so much. If you use the most optimized game route (I used StrategyWiki to guide my way) there’s really only one MAJOR instance of backtracking and a couple small ones. That’s not too bad for the Metroidvania genre at this stage of its existence. Okay, so I can’t imagine trying to figure any of this stuff out without a guide or a ROM that told me the name of the location I was at, but the days where gamers have to do this stuff blindly are a thing of the past. The problem is there’s only a small handful of sections where I sat up in my chair and said “now this kind of feels like the original game” like seen in the screenshot below.

I won’t say Castlevania II NEVER feels like Castlevania I. Right here, there’s something about the timing of when these fishmen pop out that makes me feel like I’m finally, at long last, playing a sequel and not a spin-off. And yes, since I couldn’t find any other place to talk about it, shout-out to the historically awesome soundtrack. One of the best on the NES. But I don’t play games to listen to music. I play games to play games. Good music can only make a good game better, but it can’t make a bad game better. At least that’s how I feel.

The object of Simon’s Quest is to navigate your way to five mansions to locate body parts of Dracula. Or four body parts and his bling since the last thing you get is the “ring of Dracula” though as Sasha the Kid pointed at, maybe the ring is attached to his severed finger. This actually isn’t a bad idea (I mean the mansions, not Dracula’s finger being stuck in a ring, which is gross, Sasha) but the execution is beyond pathetic. I’m guessing they were aiming for Zelda or Kid Icarus-like dungeon mazes, but they all look basically the same with slightly different colors. There’s also only six total enemies that you’ll ever see in the mansions, not counting the two, yes, TWO bosses total that appear before you fight Dracula. The main two enemies you’ll encounter are skeleton knights and knight-knights, which are functionally the same in that they just sort of patrol back and forth. Two enemies, spiders and slime blobs, appear in the overworld. There’s also hopping devils that shoot projectiles and run of the mill Castlevania bats. That’s the entire roster of mansion enemies. I think that by itself assured the mansions would get old fast and Simon’s Quest would get a NO!

It’s safe to say the primary strategy used by the skeletons and knights in the mansions is to force players to walk into them on the stairs. That’s so unimaginative and boring, which is totally in contrast to, again, everything the first game did. Castlevania I *did* use this concept, but it had more going for it. Castlevania II just keeps leaning heavier and heavier into it. Mind you, Castlevania staples like mummies, ghosts, and the Medusa heads are in this game, but not in the mansions.

Because of the low variety of enemies and the lack of architecture to make one mansion stand apart from the other, they don’t feel like events. Hell, the mansions have absolutely no personality at all. I was F*CKING PUMPED every single time I reached the front gate of a new one. The entrances look like you’re doing something big and important.

No notes. Okay, well, maybe a note. They needed a sign to tell you the name of the place, and maybe they could have done a little more to make the fences look unique.

But the contents inside let me down every single time. They’re complete f*cking slogs to work your way through. Beating a dungeon in Legend of Zelda feels like a big deal. Beating mansions in Simon’s Quest feels like busy work. You’ve got a sacred flame, Simon. Just burn the f*cking building down and grab the bag with the relic in it. It’s not like there’s anything else to do inside of them! Okay, so you have to find and purchase an oak stake to collect the relic, but even that is botched. Even though you can only carry one oak stake at a time, you can prepay for the next mansion’s stake after collecting the relic. The stakes should have been like the big keys in Zelda, IE unique to each mansion. Even if you pretend like that’s the case, the locations of where the stakes are purchased inside the mansions have no sense of discovery about them. They’re usually in arbitrary spots, with only one or two placed in a way that makes it feel like consideration was given towards incentivizing exploration.

This is a great example of Castlevania II’s development team not understanding how to handle progress. The above screenshot shows me getting the flame whip, which is the best weapon in the game and the final upgrade of the whip. This should be a huge, huge moment that’s built towards. There should be a boss fight attached to it, or a quest to retrieve macguffins associated with it, or hell, at this point I would settle for making it the most expensive item in the game since there’s really not a whole ton of sh*t to buy. Something, anything to make the morning star feel like a big deal. There’s none of that! It’s a free upgrade that’s just in the middle of an arbitrary spot. The best thing I can say is the backdrop is unique, but so what? It’s nuts that the people who did such a great job pacing Castlevania 1, to the point that it feels like it was calculated by f*cking NASA, didn’t understand how to present or pace these moments. And don’t tell me it’s because they swapped genres, because big moments in games should have an intuitive lead-up to them. You don’t just spring them on players like this. You build suspense. It’s storytelling 101.

For the most part, mansions are built around sprawling, dull layouts that rely on placing enemies at the top of staircases in a way where you have to wait a long time for them to move out of the way, or false floors. Castlevania II has an obsession with false floors. The only way to really tell if a floor is fake or not is to throw holy water at the ground (you have an unlimited supply of it) and if it goes through the floor, you know to jump over that spot. This is unjustifiable. I swear to you that I hate going back to this point over and over, but the first Castlevania cut a tempo like few games ever did, and here’s the sequel telling players to heel-toe it while gingerly throwing water at the ground like the flower girl dropping pedals at a wedding. It’s unimaginable that they believed this was an effective way to build upon Castlevania’s foundation. And it’s not like the level layouts would be fun without this. In the second mansion, “Rover Mansion”, the level is basically divided into two sides, and the side you start on has NOTHING in it. Okay, so I need to use a map that I’m borrowing from StrategyWiki that was originally created by Procyon. I added the arrow and circle.

Rover Mansion. Not pictured is Fido Mansion and Spot Mansion.

You start Rover Mansion in the bottom left hand corner, where the base of the arrow is. Everything in the circle is a gigantic, winding dead end. The idea is supposed to be that players will eventually discover a false wall. Except, as far as I can tell, there’s no practical clue towards this. I went through every bit of dialog in the game and nothing points towards this. It has to be discovered completely organically by throwing holy water at every solid surface until the player sees one of the jars pass through it. I have NO objection to that, besides the fact that it sounds kind of boring on its face value. What I do object to is the entire circled area in the above map serving ZERO PURPOSE! It’s there only for the sake of a wild goose chase, and that’s just NEVER fun in video games. Granted, they might not have realized that in 1987 and it took games like Simon’s Quest to make that a hard rule, but again, this is the same dev team who, with Castlevania 1, optimized a conservative layout like few games ever have, AND THIS IS WHAT THEY CAME UP WITH? This is some of the least optimized map design in the history of the medium. It’s a bad use of real estate, and inexcusable given what they did with so little in Castlevania 1.

The wall behind me is the false wall in question that’s the key to solving this level. It won’t be the last usage of this gag, but this is by far the least optimized version of it, because it renders half of a level completely pointless.

You can’t even say that sending a player off in a dead end adds to the replay value because it eats up time and could cost players the best ending. Time stops ticking in the mansions. There’s plenty of things that COULD have been done with that area. Why not locate the seller of the oak stake up in there? Why not hide the sacred flame, located in an arbitrary spot on the overworld map, in the furthest dead-end of that area? Why not stick a clue to the false wall being a thing up in there? EVEN IF that would have been bungled in the translation, the dev team isn’t responsible for that. What they are responsible for is a nonsense map, but Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest is full of those. What’s becoming apparent is they fundamentally didn’t have a good game plan for creating this interconnected world or building an exploration-based experience. Simon’s Quest isn’t lacking for big events. Things like lowering the lake with the crystal, or summoning a whirlwind to teleport you to a previously inaccessible point of the graveyard absolutely work as big moments. It’s all the sh*t in between that fails as an action game and an adventure game.

Okay, so kneeling for several seconds is not a great means of activation. With events like this, I prefer a single press of the button, which is intuitive, to any form of delayed activation, which isn’t. But the whirlwind does show that they understood, at least on some level, the importance of a big, sprawling adventure having great big “ta-dah!” moments. That’s why I can’t excuse any of the mistakes. They weren’t completely clueless. If they were, this wouldn’t even have been in the game.

And to really hammer home how unprepared and misguided Simon’s Quest is, look no further than the lack of bosses. The first Castlevania was defined by its boss encounters. Even the MSX game was. Simon’s Quest, before Dracula, has two bosses, which appear in the 3rd and 5th mansions. Yep, you have to wait until the game is nearly halfway done before you even encounter your first boss. Presumably they based that on Metroid only having two bosses before Mother Brain. Except, I think the designers of Castlevania 1 should have known better and understood the importance of boss fights and building up to them. TWO bosses? Are you f*cking kidding me? And they’re not even good bosses. One of them is the Grim Reaper, who is the FIRST BOSS IN THE GAME! You don’t even fight him, the actual first boss, until the third goddamned mansion, and he’s a total sponge. The second boss is a spooky mask that’s apparently supposed to be the Castlevania debut of Carmilla. That should be a big deal, except it doesn’t look or feel like Carmilla, or even the skull version of Carmilla that would really debut in Rondo of Blood.

I don’t know if it’s THE worst Grim Reaper fight, but it’s up there for sure.

It floors me that they didn’t recognize the role boss fights played in the original game. And it gets even worse, because they’re not even really framed like bosses. They just appear in the room before the room with the Dracula relic. You can walk right past them since the door isn’t locked. Hell, the music doesn’t even change. There’s no showmanship to them at all. They even respawn after you collect the relic, like basic enemies do! It’s beyond belief that this is what they came up with. In this relatively massive game, THREE bosses, two of which aren’t even given music, and one of which (Reapy McReapface) is basically entirely optional? Because you can beat the game without killing the Grim Reaper. Carmilla has to be beaten because she holds a cross that gates off the entrance to Castlevania itself.

The sad part? This is probably THE highlight of the entire game.

Only the final boss is given the proper weight of a boss fight, but even Dracula himself isn’t very fun to battle. First off, he looks like the Grim Reaper instead of Dracula. Even the kids even said it when I said “hey, who wants to see me fight Dracula?” Second: he’s boring looking in general, but then again, a lot of the enemy sprites are. Third, he’s the easiest Dracula fight in the franchise’s history. I stun-locked him almost immediately with the magic flame sub-weapon and the game ended seconds later. I’ve been saying for a long time that bosses are the metronome of gaming. Simon’s Quest is the proof, because this is a game that feels like it never keeps a beat. In terms of raw gameplay, it’s not close to the worst NES game, but I still would like to nominate it for consideration anyway. They laid the perfect foundation for a sequel and squandered it. Unlike other bad games, they had every reason to do better and no excuses for how bad this is. And it’s HORRIBLE!

“You now possess Dracula’s maidenhead.”

Castlevania II misses the point of the first game so badly that I have to figure this is in the same boat as Super Pac-Man. When you read interviews with Pac-Man creator Tōru Iwatani, it’s plainly obvious he didn’t even understand why Pac-Man was a big hit and chalked it up to “people like to eat” even though there were plenty of other games where you eat stuff. He fixated on “eating is the attraction” for the first two sequels, Super Pac-Man and Pac & Pal and they bombed badly because they featured boring mazes that were unoptimized for chasing and turning the tables (Ms. Pac-Man was made by someone else). It wasn’t until Pac-Mania years later that he seemed to finally realize eating dots was just a means to an end and it’s the chase and the pitch-perfect way of turning-the-tables that made Pac-Man blow up. I assume that’s what happened here as well. I’m guessing Konami and Akamatsu fundamentally didn’t understand what they’d accomplished with the original Castlevania. They probably chalked it up to the whip or the undead setting, but those were a means to an end. Castlevania was a masterpiece because it featured precisely fine-tuned, elegant action that was paced perfectly. All of that is gone here. Castlevania II has no polish and features maps and a game flow that doesn’t seem particularly well thought-out. It could have been salvaged, but they didn’t have time! They wanted to get this out ASAP. My theory is that Simon’s Quest is a victim of gold rush mentality.

You’ll notice a LOT of flat ground in these screenshots. Now, Castlevania 1 is a game that I’ve probably played more than any other NES game and it has a lot more of these straight corridors than people realize, but it can get away with it by utilizing a linear format with PERFECTLY placed enemies, which is to say nothing of the haunted house setting doing a lot of the heavy lifting and the boss fights to serve as checkpoints. You can’t get away with that type of design in a Metroidvania, and especially one that didn’t care one iota about boss fights. The result is a mostly boring landscape to travel.

I get it, by the way and can even see where they’re coming from. You have to consider the circumstances. Konami probably wanted to quickly establish a flagship franchise on the smoking-hot Famicom/NES, which was a new type of cultural touchstone that gamers of 2025 can’t really appreciate. Like, we saw the launch of the Switch 2 this year, right? Now imagine if Switch 2 completely pulled video games from the brink of death to become the single hottest consumer electronics item in the two biggest global markets for consumer electronics and there was a gap of major “brand names” associated with software for the platform. Brand names in this case being franchises. Now finally, I want you to imagine if the Switch 2 launch was as successful as it was (apparently historically successful), only without any established franchises and every hit game being the first game ever in that series. It’s hard to imagine, right? But that’s basically the situation Konami found themselves in with Castlevania.

Simon’s Quest shares blood with The Maze of Galious, a Famicom exclusive they developed which I will review sometime soon at IGC. I have no clue if it’s good or not, but while finishing editing this review, it occurred to me that Konami did do an unsung Metroidvania that I enjoy very much: Goonies II, which ironically I also reviewed (sort of) using a quality of life ROM hack. A full, stand-alone Goonies II review is also coming to IGC because I really want to try to get it re-released. I think it’s fantastic and one of the NES’ most underrated games. It also released half-a-year before Castlevania II did, which shows there’s no excuses for how badly done Simon’s Quest is since Konami knew what a good non-linear platform adventure should look like.

And again, they *had* to know Castlevania was their best piece of software by a country mile up to that point and that it had “marquee franchise” written all over it. So I totally understand the sense of urgency they must have felt to quickly, unequivocally establish the franchise as a brand name that consumers would associate with the world’s hottest brand. Hell, they probably felt being #2 to Super Mario Bros. in terms of direct association with the Famicom/NES was on the table, because it probably was. I don’t think Castlevania was ever that. If you’re an older reader of mine who grew up and went to school in the 1980s and early 90s, I’d LOVE for you to leave a comment and let me know how big Castlevania was among you and your friends in terms of status. Because I think that’s what happened here, and their plan didn’t fail, whether I liked Simon’s Quest or not. It was released just weeks after Super Mario Bros. 2 and sold pretty well, and Castlevania is a famous gaming franchise in the 2020s even with children who haven’t seen brand new Castlevania games in their gaming lives. Simon’s Quest played a part in that. And I’m not naive. I know Dracula’s Curse, my favorite NES game, was as good as it was because they had to make up for Simon’s Quest. We don’t get Castlevania III as good as it is if they don’t completely, utterly, epically, stupendously f*ck up Castlevania II first. So if nothing else, thanks for that, Simon’s Quest!
Verdict: NO!

If it was *me* bringing Dracula back to life by assembling his dismembered body, including his heart, I think I would take a sh*t in Dracula’s heart before I started the re-assembly ritual. It’d be messy and gross, especially in the centuries before wet wipes were invented, but it’d be worth it. Then he comes back to life and is like “I, Dracula, prince of darkness, have returned! I vill now conquer zee world using my army of….. vhat are snickering at? Vhat’s so funny, Simon? Vhat, do I have a booger in my nose? And vhy is my chest so lumpy? Vait….. Oh no! Vhat have you done?! YOU SICK SON OF A VITCH!”

BONUS: QUALITY OF LIFE ROM HACK REVIEW

I already knew I hated Simon’s Quest going into this review. I’d tried playing it multiple times for an IGC review, and I just hate the f*cking game. But, it’s one of my most requested reviews, and it is Halloween and it’s tradition for me to do Castlevania games for Halloween. If I MUST do Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest, I wanted to be able to examine the game at its peak potential, which meant utilizing a ROM hack. The problem is, there were SO MANY quality of life ROM hacks for Simon’s Quest to choose. It has to be one of the biggest bad games that people have tried to fix, and the volume of ROM hacks is pretty overwhelming to sort through. I wish I had time to review them all because I know how hard the ROM hacking community works, so I’m going to encourage everyone to check out ROMHacking.Net’s Castlevania II page. I went through the list and selected “Castlevania II English Re-translation (+Map)” by bisqwit. I chose it because bisqwit’s translation is cited at places like StrategyWiki and the Castlevania Wiki, and because his version of the game seemed to include the most quality of life upgrades while staying truest to the original intent (IE not improving heart drops, rebalancing enemies).

Bisqwit’s effort not only includes the map above and better translations of the text, but a fully done original prologue. Holy smokes! This goes so far above and beyond the call of duty that I kind of want to give bisqwit a hug, but hopefully being featured in one of my most requested reviews will suffice.

I intended for this to be my definitive Simon’s Quest review and the last time I ever play Simon’s Quest unless Konami puts out an official remake. So please keep in mind that the NO! verdict was not for Bisqwit’s ROM hack. He did a fantastic job improving a game that is, simply put, terrible and I’m bestowing an honorary YES! verdict to his work. If you’re a fan of Simon’s Quest, you’re weird, and also you really should check it out, along with other quality of life efforts for Castlevania II. By the way, I salute the entire ROM hacking community for their hard work. I seriously love and admire all of you and wish that more gaming media covered your work, but as long as I’m around, I intend to use my platform to spotlight your work. So, what made this version of Simon’s Quest different? The biggest change is the transition from day to night is instantaneous. Here’s what it (and the map) look like:

He also added more invincibility frames (what I normally call “blinking”) and the ability to jump off stairs but I didn’t even realize that and never used it until after I’d already beaten the game. Those are the only real efforts towards rebalancing I believe bisqwit did, and he also added a save system to replace the password system. Finally, the dialog is properly translated. Apparently some characters are meant to lie to Simon and provide red herrings that aren’t helpful to players, and I have no problem with bisqwit not changing that. He stayed true to the developer’s intent, whether that intent was stupid or not. The clue books you find in the mansions are much more clear, and you can go back and re-read them in the menu. Even the sign posts are better handled. Here’s some examples of the new dialog, which is based directly on the original Japanese text:

I’m grateful for his effort, because it confirmed to me that my problems with Simon’s Quest are related to nonsensical level design and terrible pacing that goes far beyond a slow transition from day to night. The version I played altered NONE of the level design, enemy difficulty, heart drop rates, experience system, etc. I’m confident that nothing I covered in the main review is going to be different whether you play the normal retail version of Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest or the version I played. So what’s here WAS my definitive review, and I’m glad to finally be done with it. This game sucks, but bisqwit’s effort does not. Thank you again bisqwit for your effort! YES! to your patch, even if the game itself is still a NO! And seriously, compilations need to do things like this. There is nothing inherently sacred about old versions of games and including OPTIONAL quality of life fixes is ALWAYS worth the effort, even if the game isn’t that much better for it.

You could have come up with a better name for it though, bisqwit 😛
Link to Patch
I use THIS TOOL to apply patches.

 

Castlevania: Rondo of Blood aka Akumajou Dracula X: Chi no Rondo (Review)

Castlevania: Rondo of Blood
aka Akumajou Dracula X: Chi no Rondo
Platform: PC Engine Super CD-ROM²
Released October 29, 1993
Directed by Toru Hagihara
Developed by Konami
Included in Castlevania Requiem (PS4 Exclusive – $19.99)

I could just skip the review and note that I spent all night getting a 100% completion. I did a complete run with both Richter and Maria, then had to go back and figure out what I was missing, which took a while, but I never got bored the entire time.

It’s been nearly six months since I reviewed Castlevania: Dracula X for the Super Nintendo, which is sometimes called the SNES remake of Rondo of Blood. Friends, I assure you that it’s just not true. In terms of level design, Dracula X is much, much closer to a remake of the original Castlevania than it is to Rondo, no matter what Wikis tell you. Hell, I’d go so far as to say Dracula X is even closer to a remake of the original game than Castlevania Chronicles, a game that’s all but advertised as a remake of Castlevania 1. The “reimagining of Rondo of Blood” is largely based on Dracula X reusing many of the same sprites from that game. Here’s a few comparison shots, and remember that Rondo is always on the left and Dracula X on the right. Here’s the giant bat:

Here’s the headless guy:

In case you didn’t know, the TurboGrafx-16, despite the name, is an 8-bit console running a slightly modified version of the same CPU the NES and even Atari 2600 have. That’s oversimplifying it, of course, as the TG-16 has a few extra things that make it much more advanced than any other 8-bit console and allows a game like Bonk’s Adventure to be more colorful and have bigger sprites than its NES counterpart. Furthermore, the Super CD-ROM² add-on gives the PC Engine/TG16 additional resources to pull from. Specifically, it quadruples the frame buffer from 64kb to 256kb. BUT, this is still an 8-bit console, so I’m not sure if this is more of an impressive win for the 8-bit Rondo of Blood or an embarrassing loss for the genuinely 16-bit Dracula X, which really doesn’t look THAT much better, if it looks better at all. Here’s the werewolf, and honestly, I think the 8-bit platform wins in a landslide in terms of atmosphere. Certainly spookier than the faded/washed-out look of the SNES game.

The SNES has more detailed backgrounds, but the character and enemy sprites themselves are usually identical. Not universally so, as Dracula has an entirely different model, but common enough it’s a little startling. It’s not just looks, either. The attack patterns of bosses and basic enemies are often similar, if not identical. That’s not a bad thing, since the bosses (except Dracula himself) were the one aspect of Dracula X I was able to praise without qualifying it. Bosses in Rondo feel climatic, helped by having a “last hurrah” final attack after being defeated. But, some of them, especially the werewolf and Dracula himself, were big improvements over the SNES game. I’ve often said that certain games, good and bad, should be shown in game design courses. I’m not kidding when I say Rondo of Blood and Dracula X should be an entire course in game design on their own. These two games together prove beyond any doubt that the difference between a historically amazing game and a game so pedestrian that it’s boring can be more subtle than you might realize.

Seriously, this one off set-piece style enemy is a cinch to get past, but it certainly wakes you up.

In fact, all the best aspects of Dracula X are here and, if they’re not identical, they’re BETTER on Rondo. In addition to the bosses and enemies, the item crash debuted here and it’s fun. The key and locked doors are in both games but mechanically, Rondo does it better. So I can get why people would call Dracula X a “reworking” or “reimagining” or even a “remake” of Rondo, even if the 16-bit game is actually a huge downgrade. But, the most important thing is that Rondo is darker and scarier than Dracula X. Some might disagree with me, but I think that Castlevania, for all its silliness, should always be played sincerely and try for spooky, not corny. Here’s one final “same boss, different game” comparison shot. You tell me, which one feels more scary looking?

It’s much more accurate to call Dracula X an “asset flip” and a lazy one at that. Having now closely examined Rondo of Blood, I think I’d be inclined to be even more harsh on Dracula X than I already was. Dracula X now feels like little more than one of those mean-spirited Super Mario ROM hacks that ramp-up the difficulty with no vision beyond being a bastard for the sake of it. It feels obvious now that the team behind Dracula X played Rondo, copied the best parts, but fundamentally didn’t understand why those bits were the good stuff. That’s the classic ROM hack problem in general. The bad ones are ones by developers who aren’t deeply interested in the why of game design.

The opening stage, a tribute to Simon’s Quest, is the best thing to come out of that game. This is a memberberry done right.

If it seems like this review is more of a continuation of my Dracula X review, well, blame Rondo of Blood. It’s hard for me to do my job when a game doesn’t give me many flaws to work with. I really wish I had played Rondo first, because I think I would’ve had a better time laughing at how they completely screwed the pooch on making a worthy “Castlevania X” Nintendo release. It wouldn’t have made the game better, but it sure would have made the experience better. I was so bored playing Dracula X: a slow, uninspired game that’s obsessed with cheap shots, and certainly not worthy of reusing the sprites from Rondo of Blood, a game that lives up to its towering reputation. Hell, the only major knock I have on Rondo is the art direction of the cutscenes. Richter looks fine, but I just can’t take the threat of Dracula seriously when he looks like the world’s most douchey douchebag. Seriously, Count Chocula is more scary than this dweeb.

Look, I’m not trying to be shallow and/or superficial because that’s the type of thing that gets a person cancelled these days, but I have my limits. I can suspend my disbelief and buy that the Grim Reaper works for Dracula when logically it should be the other way around. Whatever, it’s Castlevania so sure, death incarnate lets Dracula call the shots. But what I cannot believe is that the Belmont family wouldn’t take one look at THAT guy and say “you’re adorable, Alucard, but I’m here to kill your pops. Wait, YOU’RE Dracula? No. No, you’re not scary! You look like the villain in a deodorant commercial!” I could believe a guy who looks like that is someone who would deliberately give you the wrong answers on a finals test so that he wins valedictorian. I could believe that’s a guy who would plant a bra in his best friend’s car in an attempt to break up his relationship and steal his girlfriend. I could believe that’s a guy who would start a whisper campaign about you not being a team player at work so he gets the big promotion instead of you. That is the face of someone who is clearly evil, but in a smug, underhanded, douchey kind of way and not in a “I will call on the forces of darkness to raise the dead and take over the world” type of way. Evil, but not EVIL-evil, you know?

Rondo of Blood just works better because it’s not designed around enemies trying to score one-shot kills, which Dracula X was heavily invested in. The level design is instead optimized for a faster-paced Castlevania romp. That’s surprising, because, like Dracula X, Rondo is still a back-to-basics Castlevania game for the most part. To put it in perspective, when you play as Richter, all the basic sub-weapons except the stopwatch and bible only cost one heart. This is a game that was made to be fun and not because the designer has some vendetta against humanity. Like the best Castlevanias, it’s fun to play just for sightseeing, with plenty of memorable settings and basic enemies, none of who are too spongy or too cruelly placed to make progress ever feel slow.

Ever wanted to whip one of the spiky ball chains? Now, you can, and it doesn’t just reverse direction. I was caught off guard when it behaved kind of realistically and was hard to get past. It’s that extra effort towards immersiveness in the level design and enemy design that makes me so frustrated with the cringey cutscenes.

Hell, I think this might even be one of the best games to introduce someone new to the Castlevania franchise. It’s not that hard a game, actually. The enemies are consistently fine-tuned to such a degree that it’s genuinely surprising when you encounter the rare spongy one. Even then, they’re usually staged in a way where they have an almost mini-boss feel. It’s actually remarkable how often Rondo takes what would normally be a flaw in a lesser game and turns it into a positive. If you’ve been intimidated by other classic-style Castlevania games solely because of their reputation for difficulty, give this one a try. In addition to some of the most balanced combat in the entire franchise, Rondo offers plenty of life refills and 1ups. If you die, while you lose your sub-weapon and your hearts are reset to 10, you’re not totally screwed, either. That’s because there’s no whip upgrades, yet every single enemy feels like it’s balanced properly to be slain by the default whip.

The only aspect that I feel isn’t well balanced is the bible sub-weapon. It has so much range and power that it’s essentially a low-cost item crash. If the cutscenes aren’t the worst problem with Rondo, the bible is because it’s too overpowered. Three hearts is just not a steep enough cost for an item this effective, and it even has a low cost (ten hearts) item crash.

While I can’t say with complete confidence that the bosses are also perfectly optimized for the whip, you will always have a chance to get at least one sub-weapon before entering a boss chamber. While you can still cheese the bosses if you have enough hearts to execute an item crash (and some cost quite a bit. One is a whopping FIFTY hearts!), it never feels like you’re cheesing it. What makes it even better is that Rondo’s defensive game is equally satisfying thanks to a variety of dodging moves. Enemies telegraph their attacks in a way where there’s always enough time to activate the backflip move. It takes practice to get the timing down, but it’s so satisfying when you successfully utilize it. I wouldn’t say this is a kinder, gentler Castlevania, but it offers the right amount of grit with almost none of dick moves Dracula X or any other Castlevania game ever has pulled. This might be the most balanced game in the franchise.

In my first playthrough, I lost three total lives from damage, two which were at the hands of the boss rush sequence that makes up the entirety of level six. It’s actually inspired, because the first four bosses are directly lifted from the original Castlevania. They don’t play the same, as Medusa has a body instead of being a gigantic head, there’s only one mummy instead of two, and The Creature doesn’t have Igor with him. I survived all of them, but I lost the final battle against the guy who resurrected Count Draculahaha. A guy named Shaft. I’m resisting the temptation to break out into song.

And this go around, the branching path system works a lot better than the half-assed effort made in Dracula X. Actually, the most damning observation of that game I have now that I’ve played through Rondo a few times is how half-assed the branching paths in the SNES “version” are. They seem to only be in Dracula X because Rondo leaned very heavily into the idea and they needed some token representation to say “see, this is totally an upgraded Rondo! It’s got an X in the title and a couple hidden paths and everything!” But whereas Dracula X’s paths feel arbitrary and out-of-nowhere, Rondo’s mostly have an elegant logic to them. Every start-to-finish game of Rondo (you open up a level-select option in the main menu after beating the first stage) will consist of playing eight levels, but each of the first five levels has secret pathways. The secret pathways aren’t that hard to find and usually contain an alternative boss which then leads to alternative levels, which, once again, have hidden paths, and so forth, and so forth. For example, in the first level, you go here:

And you get a different boss fight than if you just keep following the normal pathway and you’ll get a different second level. So, it’s not like Castlevania III where you choose a different path between levels. Now, to be clear: I prefer the way Castlevania III did it, and I’d really prefer the option of playing all the levels in a single run. If there had been a ROM hack that allowed this like the one I experienced when I reviewed Dracula’s Curse, I would have taken that option after finishing the real game. Of course, it wouldn’t work in this game without somehow rearranging the level layouts. The themes and enemies for roughly half of each of the first five levels and their alternative route counterparts change depending on which path you take. But, when the level design is THIS outstanding, I feel something is lost when you’re forced to replay it instead of them naturally unfolding. But, if a game is going to be designed with the branching paths in the levels themselves, this is probably as perfect as the concept gets.

Sometimes there’s more than two paths to take. There’s a LOT of secrets in this game, including a few one-off hidden rooms. I’m fine with that. Unlike Dracula X, Rondo feels like it’s fully based on exploration and secrets instead of just shoving a couple token ones into the game because the popular game it borrowed assets from had them.

The most noticeable secrets are that four maidens are hidden in the game, the first of which is Maria Renard, who is a playable character. The method of saving the maidens is much easier than in Dracula X, where one key had to be held for multiple doors. In Rondo, there’s three total keys, each of which is used once, in the level you found it in, and not too far from where you found it. With that said, I guess that would be the biggest strike against Rondo: you never know if a pit is actually a pit or the secret path. It happens more than once, too. There’s no way to spin that as a positive if the emulator you’re playing on doesn’t have quick save/quick load or rewinding because you have to just plug your nose and jump blindly while searching. So there, Rondo isn’t perfect. Unless you have a good emulator.

Apparently, not every “hidden path” actually goes somewhere. If there’s a point to this room, I never figured it out. I got a 100% completion so I guess the game just wanted to show where all these flea men riding cannonballs were coming from.

The replay value comes from a very enjoyable alternative character. Maria is unlocked in the second level, though you have to go back to the main menu to switch to her. She’s radically different from Richter, throwing doves at enemies instead of a whip. Richter gets a defensive backflip move, while Maria gets a double jump. She also can do a sliding move, but I never found any situation where it was more effective than jumping. Even a situation that seems tailored specifically for it didn’t work. The mummy in the boss rush stage throws blocks at you and, even though it appears high enough off the ground to slide under, the slide doesn’t work for it. Whatever. Her double jump works fine enough as a defensive move. Maria’s sub-weapons are all animal-based as well, including throwing a goddamned dragon at enemies, which is the most powerful sub-weapon in the game. But even throwing a cat at an enemy is both effective and hilarious, as the cat relentlessly attacks. It’s what my cat would do, even if it wasn’t fighting the forces of evil.

The item crash with the cat is some Power of Grayskull sh*t. Well, HONOR of Grayskull in its case. By the way, Maria apparently has a Street Fighter-like special move, but I was never able to execute it.

I know that a lot of the appeal in my reviews is talking about the flaws in a game, but the truth is Rondo is close to being without flaw. The unskippable cutscenes are easily the most annoying part, regardless of whether or not you know Japanese. In case it wasn’t clear from my tirade above, I really don’t like the art style. I don’t get the direction of it at all, really. It doesn’t match-up with the in-game graphics and really only breaks my immersion. But, fast forwarding through a handful of agonizing cutscenes to play a Castlevania that doesn’t really make any critical gameplay mistakes is a very small price to pay. I guess I was disappointed that the level that’s hidden until after you beat Dracula once doesn’t have a boss fight. Seems kind of lame for a Castlevania game, but even Dracula’s Curse does that too. Sigh. Rondo of Blood really is close to being criticism proof, especially with emulation trickery used to speed-up exploration. I can’t say enough good things about it. This was such a treat to finally sit down with.

OH HEY, there’s part of a bad level! Actually, the river rafting sequence doesn’t even qualify as bad. It’s just very bland, especially when compared to the rest of the game. It needed to be trimmed by at least half.

A lot of the time, famous Japanese exclusives that never got released globally during their original life cycle are really overrated. I’ve played several of them at IGC, from Super Back to the Future Part 2 to Magical Quest 3 to Wai Wai World. Rondo is the rare Japanese holy grail that actually deserves that status and it’s an absolute travesty that it took so long to go worldwide. It got a Wii Virtual console release fifteen years ago and a PSP release a little further back than that. It was also included on the already long out-of-print TurboGrafx-16 Mini, which kind of got hosed by a limited production run and incredibly poor timing as it was delayed due to the pandemic, which is a shame because it was arguably the killer app for it.

“Hey, haven’t you ever heard of guest rights? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT ONLY APPLIES TO THE HOST? No, it doesn’t! Wait. Yea, you’re right. I suppose it is right in the name. It ain’t called Host Rights, after all. I guess you’ve got me there. Well, next time I resurrect, I’m going to YOUR home to kill you. See how you like it when the shoe’s on the other foot, jerk! Oh, you won’t open your door for me? Hmmmph, rude! I always open my drawbridge for you! Where would you be if I didn’t do that? Kissing your family goodbye right before I enslave humanity, that’s where!”

Hell, Rondo would be the killer app for any collection. Konami could just as well slap a $4.99 price tag on it for Xbox and Switch owners and make a killing. So, why in the hell is the only available release a PlayStation exclusive? Now granted, Castlevania Requiem: Symphony of the Night & Rondo of Blood is a contender for best retro two-pack on the market today, but come on, Konami. The cutscenes aren’t THAT embarrassing. Okay, fine, they are, but that doesn’t explain why the hell you gave us Dracula X in Castlevania Advance Collection instead of this masterpiece. I thought THAT was evil, but then you put Haunted Castle in Dominus Collection instead of Rondo, and now I know true evil.
Verdict: YES!

THE INDIE GAMER CHICK CASTLEVANIA REVIEW SERIES
 Castlevania (NES) Dracula’s Curse (NES) Adventure (GB) Belmont’s Revenge (GB)
Super Castlevania IV (SNES) Dracula X (SNES) Rondo of Blood (SuperCD²)
Chronicles (PSX) Circle of the Moon (GBA)  Kid Dracula (NES) Kid Dracula (GB)
ROM Hacks (NES)
Konami Wai Wai World (NES) Wai Wai World 2: SOS!! Parsley Jō (NES)

“Yes, it vas I who put the sugar in your boyfriend’s gas tank, causing him to be late for school and getting him detention. Now you’re free to go to zee prom with me! Muhahaha! Truly I am the lord of evil! WAHAHAHAHA! Vas zat over the top? So vat do you say? Pick you up at 7:00? Does 7:00 mean 7:00 or are you one of those chicks where you say 7:00 but you’re still doing your hair and we leave at 8:00? I’m only asking because my hair gel starts to flake after a few hours.”

Castlevania: Circle of the Moon (Review)

Castlevania: Circle of the Moon
Platform: Game Boy Advance
Released March 21, 2001 (JP) June 11, 2001 (US)
Designed by Koji Horie
Developed by Konami
Included in Castlevania Advance Collection

Bats are basically just sacks of blood, apparently.

I got Circle of the Moon on the day the Game Boy Advance launched in North America. Oh, I didn’t play it then. Did you ever watch the White Walker battle in the final season of Game of Thrones? Probably not, even if the TV was tuned into it, because you couldn’t see a damned thing. Castlevania: Circle of the Moon was kind of like that when it launched. Even after my father installed one of those aftermarket, warranty-voiding light kits to my GBA, visibility wasn’t very good and I still didn’t play it. Actually, because the Game Boy Advance screen was so impossible to see, I didn’t play a lot of GBA at all until the SP and the Game Boy Player (for my younger readers, this was a device that let you play Game Boy Advance titles on the TV via a GameCube) came out in 2003, both of which came with the novelty of being able to see the games you bought. Well, the Game Boy Player did. The original SP was front lit, because Nintendo never admits to mistakes until they’ve exhausted all other possibilities. But, for me at least, the killer app of the Game Boy Player was Circle of the Moon. In fact, I binged the three Castlevania GBA games back-to-back-to-back. And it was a couple of the happiest weeks of what would be a very crappy year for me. So, I cherish the Castlevania GBA trilogy. But, did they age well?

Find the right enemies and grinding can go so quick that it’s kind of shocking. Does it still count as “grinding” if you can get a couple levels in under five minutes?

As the second “Metroidvania” game in the series and the first since the legendary Symphony of the Night, Circle of the Moon had a LOT to live up to. Circle of the Moon doesn’t attempt to be quite as RPG-like as that game. Actually, it’s more like a noncommittal hybrid of a traditional Castlevania game and a Symphony of the Night-style adventure. While the actual map is massive and sprawling, your only primary weapon is the Vampire Killer whip. Apparently this is not THE whip of the Belmont clan and instead is called the “Hunter Whip” but who gives a f*ck? It’s the Vampire Killer, period, and there’s no permanent upgrades for it and no alternatives. Luckily, the whip is one of the most satisfying of any Castlevania whips, with plenty of OOMPH and a lot of magical spells to buff it and the standard assortment of Castlevania subweapons to complement it. The action is top-notch. Controls really well, too. This is one of those games that plays so well that it completely lives and dies on the merits of the design.

This was my map when I finished the game. Dracula is directly to the right of the first yellow block from the left. With his room filled in, this is a roughly 90% complete map, and I have no idea how many HP/MP/Heart boosts I missed along the way. I didn’t use a guide for them, and actually, I only used a guide for which enemies drop which weapons.

Instead of finding weapons, there’s only armor and accessories which are dropped by enemies. In fact, each individual enemy drops only two potential things, one common, the other rare. I’m not the biggest fan of this design because I hate having this type of thing come down to tracking down lottery tickets. Like, the second best armor in the game is dropped by an enemy that exists only in one specific room. Also, the base drop rate for this armor is 0.5%, and since there’s only one of these enemies in the entire game, if you don’t get it, you have to leave the room and come back and fight it again. Something about that is really inelegant to me, and for this game, I decided not to play along. Instead, I used save states to make some of the drops go quickly. Sometimes it made a big difference, but other times? I’m not at all encouraging you to watch this whole video, but even cheesing the game with save states, it could take quite a while for the item I was seeking to drop.

By the way, the dice seem to be rolled the moment the fatal shot is THROWN, not LANDED, so if you have a boomerang about to kill an enemy on the return trip, reloading the state won’t change whether or not the enemy drops something or not. Speaking of the Boomerangs, they’re pretty rare in this. I’d recommend holding onto them when you first get one because they’re seriously overpowered for all bosses.

Additionally, some enemies drop cards that allow you to cast spells. Unlike armor, card drops happen only once, but if you want to do THAT, logically the first kill against the target enemy should result in a drop. It doesn’t. Lame. There’s two tiers of cards that have to be combined. These mostly enhance your whip. For the most part, I only used two combos, one of which gave me a fire sword and one of which made my whip twice as long. I might switch to one that increased the damage I inflicted by 25% for bosses, but otherwise, I mostly stuck to those once I had them. The problem is the same as the accessories: they’re random drops from enemies. Every treasure that can be found (besides post-boss upgrades) are either upgrades to hit points, magic points, or max hearts you can carry. I didn’t start cheesing the game with emulation trickery until over halfway through the game. If the drop system had been remotely rewarding, I would never have done it. Random drops might be great for the surprise factor, but I can assure you, it gets old. I really think it would have been more satisfying to hide the big armor and accessories as treasures in the castle.

Mercury Card + Golem card ended up being, no joke, my favorite Castlevania whip ever. It reaches nearly half the screen and, although it comes at a cost of speed, it sure made backtracking a lot less painful.

So, this is awkward to say, but I found the RPG elements of Circle of the Moon to be some of the worst in a good game I’ve ever played. Too many enemies that are pushovers pay off too many experience points. Like this room here:

That “frozen shade” paid off so much that I was able to grind up about ten levels in under half-an-hour. It’s not up to players to use the honor system to protect the integrity of the game from lazy design. Designers are supposed to discourage that through challenge, right? Clearly that enemy was not something I was supposed to be fighting then and there. It had easy-to-dodge attacks and, with the fire sword spell and the star bracelets it dropped for me, I was wasting it in four or five hits, before it even fired at me. And since magic refills slowly (another bad choice, in my opinion) I didn’t have to hold back while fighting it. I have no idea how they determined some of these XP totals, but it makes Circle of the Moon one of the most exploitable RPG systems in the entire history of gaming.

One neat thing that it does do is replace weak enemies with strong ones as you make progress, though it waits a little too long to do this, and it doesn’t implement it nearly enough. If you want to put such a heavy emphasis on backtracking, you need more of this. These enemies are at the start of the game, but they don’t show up until you’re nearly finished.

There’s just absolutely no sense of balance, and no balance means no risk/reward to calculate. This is where you have to give turn-based RPGs props. In those, if you encounter an enemy that pays off so huge that you can hypothetically grind out hours worth of leveling-up in under half-an-hour, a punch-for-punch battle would see you go tits-up, lights-out in probably the first attack the enemy got on you. Action games can be that way too, but if you don’t PERFECTLY distribute the enemies or accessories, at some point the opportunity to cheese the game will present itself. Circle of the Moon does that a few times. It’s really badly done in that regard.

Don’t get me wrong: finding the hidden stuff is f’n awesome. I cracked a smile every single time a wall broke.

Now here’s the good news: the level design is mostly pretty good. There’s a ton of annoying backtracking and not nearly enough fast-travel tunnels. According to the game’s clock, it took me six-and-a-half hours to finish the Circle of the Moon, and I’d guess at least a third of that was spent making my way back to areas just to get one previously inaccessibly stat upgrade or find an enemy who dropped a card I missed. If the combat wasn’t so damn satisfying and the level design some of the best in this genre, I wouldn’t have been up for it. Yet, there’s a lot of really weird design choices that made me shake my head. Stuff that shattered my immersion that I was a badass vampire hunter exploring a castle. Like, this for example:

Are you kidding me?

One of the very last items you get from defeating a boss is the ability to shove boxes. Okay, that’s a time-honored staple of the genre. EXCEPT, one of the very first upgrades you get in Circle of the Moon is the ability to shatter stone blocks with a dash move. So, let me get this straight: Nathan Graves (hero of the game) masters the ability to shatter stone with his shoulder before he learns how to push a wooden crate out of the way? I had a spell that turned my whip into a goddamned flaming sword that, by all rights, should have set the box on fire, but I had to wait until the game was almost over to schlep a box? And by the way, they put a lot of those boxes throughout the “levels” of the game, so after getting this upgrade, if you want to boost your stats you have to spend about an hour just making your way to them so you can push them out of the way and pick up the boosts.

When the game is over, you get a series of passwords that allow you to replay the game in a different way, though the hero sprite is still Nathan. Thankfully, you don’t have to beat the game to get these, but honestly, they’re all really boring and feel like the type of challenges that pro gamers come up with to keep themselves amused. The Wizard (pictured here using a spell that turned me into a skeleton) is activated by putting FIREBALL as your name, which is also the name of Angela’s dog. Funny. The wizard is weak in everything except magic, and you start the game with every card so you basically have to magic your way through it. GRADIUS is the fighter, who can’t cast spells but his strength is insane. CROSSBOW is the “shooter” who has weak stats and has to use sub-weapons (including a new version of the dagger) that come at half the cost of hearts to use. This is one of the worst ways to ever play a Castlevania game. Finally, THIEF has weak stats but enemies drop stuff at a significantly higher rate. Sorry, no upside-down castle this time.

In terms of a pure action game, Circle of the Moon is clearly one of the most elite launch games in the history of the medium. It’s actually astonishing to think about: this was a day one Game Boy Advance game. I mean, pity about the vision thing, because the wide variety of enemies, settings, and huge boss fights make this legitimately a pretty good Castlevania adventure. While the RPG aspect is a complete airball in my opinion, the epic scale of the boss fights almost makes up for it by itself. This includes one of the best Grim Reaper fights of the 21st century, a memorable encounter with a gigantic minotaur that’s practically trapped in a pillory, and an even more gigantic two-headed dragon. Sadly, after several top-notch boss fights, the game ends with back-to-back AWFUL fights: the battle against Nathan’s rival, the insufferable Hugh Baldwin (who was originally going to be a playable character) and one of the most sloggish Dracula battles ever. Seriously, the final form of Dracula includes this dashing attack where he’s invulnerable and it’s just the worst. Castlevania: Circle of the Moon sticks the landing about as well as that pole vaulter who landed ass-first on the pole.

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Okay, so Circle of the Moon wasn’t as good as I remembered it. Not even close. I can’t stress enough: this WAS the killer app for the Game Boy Player twenty-two years ago. It was the reason I wanted to own one in the first place, and I suspect I wasn’t alone in that. In 2003, at the age of thirteen/fourteen, it felt like it lived-up to my high expectations. But, it certainly didn’t hold-up perfectly two decades later. As great as the map is, it’s not an optimized map. More fast travel points would have been transformative of this game. Hell, just get rid of those and turn the save stations into fast travel points. Why not?

I’m a complete idiot, because it turned out I had the ability to do this much sooner and I just somehow skipped past that card.

Plus, the lack of balance really shows a roughness that I never noticed the first time. Like, the first time I played the game, I beat levels out-of-order because the way you clean the toxic water out of that level is so far away and disconnected from that area that I actually missed it back in 2003. I beat the toxic water level without ever cleaning the water. I just thought it was a really hard stage. That’s on the designers. Actually, knowing where to go next is not intuitive. The first time you play this, expect a LOT of aimless wandering. Thank god for the combat. Circle of the Moon is lucky that Castlevania’s core combat is so bulletproof that you can tack on a terrible RPG system and some haphazard Metroidvania progression and still have a good game. But I’ve been wrong for the last twenty years, because I thought Castlevania: Circle of the Moon was great. It’s pretty good, but nowhere near great.
Verdict: YES!

THE INDIE GAMER CHICK CASTLEVANIA REVIEW SERIES
 Castlevania (NES) Dracula’s Curse (NES) Adventure (GB) Belmont’s Revenge (GB)
Super Castlevania IV (SNES) Dracula X (SNES) Rondo of Blood (SuperCD²)
Chronicles (PSX) Circle of the Moon (GBA)  Kid Dracula (NES) Kid Dracula (GB)
ROM Hacks (NES)
Konami Wai Wai World (NES) Wai Wai World 2: SOS!! Parsley Jō (NES)

I’m now convinced Dracula has a plant fetish.