The Rarest Video Pinball Game – The Reviews Start NOW!

March 1, 2025 by Leave a comment

My family is lucky enough to have some of the rarest content EVER released on any Nintendo platform. We own the original version of The Pinball Arcade on Nintendo Switch that was released April 6, 2018, then was immediately delisted after a window that can be measured in minutes. It was apparently up for under two hours. These are gone forever and have been for a long time. But, years ago, before the review codes were destroyed, someone who appreciated our hard work on the Pinball Arcade guide at ThePinballChick.com hooked us up. So, what to do with these? How about putting them head-to-head with the versions of the tables that are actually for sale. Who will win? Did pinball fans miss out? Is it apples and oranges? Right now, we have 30 tables to compare, and counting. These will also double as the definitive reviews of Pinball FX’s Williams lineup on Nintendo Switch. The first review is up at The Pinball Chick, and OF COURSE we started with Addams Family! Hope everyone enjoys!

The Addams Family on Nintendo Switch Review: Pinball FX AND The Ultra-Rare Pinball Arcade Version

Filed under Pinball

AtGames Legends Pinball: Natural History Pinball Pack 1, 2, and 3 Reviews.

February 14, 2025 by Leave a comment

Huge thanks to Sasha the Kid, all of 9 years old, who actually wrote a lot of this. She is heir-apparent to Indie Gamer Chick and The Pinball Chick and a very talented pinballer who set her first world record at the ripe age of 8 (she was briefly Exploding Kittens world champion for Pinball FX and since then has claimed a few other records that held on longer). Sasha got the AtLegends Micro for Christmas in 2023 and she’s been putting more time into it than we have our other AtGames pins. She’s worked very hard with all of us to put this together. Like all Pinball Chick reviews, this is the product of my whole pinball-playing family debating the merits of these pins. With that said, each Natural History pack costs $25 and comes with four tables. Presented to you here are quick reviews of all twelve tables in that series so far, along with general thoughts on the Natural History franchise. Enjoy!
WE DO NOT OWN THE 4K MODELS YET, but these reviews should cover those builds as well.

Scoring System

MASTERPIECE: 5 out of 5, the cream of the crop.
GREAT: 4 out of 5, an elite pin.
GOOD: 3 out of 5. A decent but flawed pin. To be clear, GOOD means “good” at The Pinball Chick.
BAD: 2 out of 5, a poorly designed pin or a competent pin that’s just not fun.
THE PITS: 1 out of 5, an actively abysmal pin with a multitude of problematic elements.

Award System

CERTIFIED EXCELLENT: A scoring average of 3.6 or higher awards a Certificate of Excellence. We generally consider a table that’s awarded this certificate to have a value of $15 by itself.
PANTHEON INDUCTEE: A scoring average of 4.6 or higher earns the table a space in our Pantheon of Digital Pinball. We generally consider a table that enters the Pantheon to be a must-own table.
CLEAN SCORECARD: An otherwise decent table that, while not amazing, earned no ratings of BAD or THE PITS. We don’t place a set value on this award and suggest our readers decide what a table we ultimately all approve of is worth to you.
💩CERTIFIED TURD💩: A scoring average of 1.4 or lower earns the table a place in the Sewer of Digital Pinball. While we don’t penalize a set for having a Certified Turd, it certainly isn’t a positive thing.

NATURAL HISTORY GENERAL REVIEW

  • Natural History, generic as it is, is also one of the most consistently good franchises in digital pinball. Most of these are basically Zaccaria Pinball Deluxe models by Magic Pixel. A couple are more like their Zaccaria Remake line due to really simple layouts, but all twelve use LCD scoreboards and overall, these are pretty ambitious pins.
  • The LCD scoreboards are awful. The animations are too slow and too frequent. Some tables might see players go quite a while before they can even see what their score is because animations are constantly going off. We’re not fans of Magic Pixel/Zaccaria’s LCD scoreboards in general. They’re cheap looking, ugly, and pretty slow, and we think a lot of the bugs were related to the gameplay happening faster than the scoreboard could keep up with. We’d beg them to update every table with new scoreboards if we felt it would make a difference.
  • Out of the twelve tables, a whopping nine earned positive marks across the board. In total, there were four tables CERTIFIED EXCELLENT and five that won a CLEAN SCORECARD.
  • Every Natural History pack has at least one table that won a Certificate of Excellence.
  • No MASTERPIECE votes were cast at all. Dinosaur Dynasty 1 would have gone four-for-four if not for the ROM not reading every lit shot.
  • The best overall pack is a little bit murky. Technically, Natural History 3 is the only one that made up its $25 price tag via certificates, as it has two Certified Excellent tables. But, it also has the only 💩Certified Turd💩 in the franchise. Natural History 1, on the other hand, had no votes of BAD or THE PITS cast at all.
  • Four different tables were named “best overall Natural History table” by the four Vice Family players. Cathy named Dinosaur Dynasty 2 her #1. Sasha was the only GREAT vote at all for Amazonia and declared it her #1. Insect World was Angela’s favorite, while Oscar preferred Egypt. We’re all in agreement that if Dinosaur Dynasty 1 is fixed, it’ll be our unanimous #1.
  • Some of the tables crash, which means it just takes you back to the table’s page on the launcher. One time, a table froze so badly we had to restart the whole machine. Nobody suffered worse than Angela. She had multiple high-scoring games that would have easily been the family high scores, one of which was even a world record pace. We couldn’t figure out any reason for this.

AFRICA

Like most of the Zaccaria Deluxe models, Africa is a zoner. If you don’t like that style of pin, you’re not going to like this one. I think all the Vices are fans of Zaccaria Deluxe pins, but they all have the same basic problems. Zaccaria DMs always shoot a little clunky, but I like that. I like that they use non-traditional angles that have to be learned for the first time instead of basing the angles off of famous earlier pins. Africa’s targets are built especially off the supplementary flippers. This is a shooter’s pin, with an emphasis on tight shots off the sup’s. Like most Zaccaria DMs, they never quite learned full scoring balance. The upper right hand corner has three targets that light a spinner that can practically open a scoring floodgate. When it works, at least. Sometimes the ball goes right on target and the spinner doesn’t budge. They need to patch this for Oscar and Cathy to bump their scores to GREAT. I think the overall thrilling targets make up for it. Africa is one of the best Natural History pins.
Pack: Natural History Pack 2
Vice Family High: Cathy “IGC” 274,732,360 (#26 All Time)
Cathy: GOOD – Sasha the Kid: GREAT – Angela: GREAT – Oscar: GOOD
Scoring Average: 3.5 – Awarded a CLEAN SCORECARD

AMAZONIA

They could have just as well based this table on the Panama Canal for how wide the flipper drain is. There’s a drain pin that can be highly effective with practice, but it’s never quite predictable when the ball will lose its bounce on it. It doesn’t help that the table mechanics themselves are unpredictable. The South American Jaguar hole kicks the ball out multiple different strengths and angles, sometimes right between the flippers. So, when playing Amazon, prepare to play defensively. On the other hand, like most of Magic Pixel’s Deluxe line, Amazonia goes BIG with a mixture of classic pinball and a virtual wonderland of ramps, secondary and, uh, third..an..ary flippers. How come “thirdanary” isn’t a word? Modes are short and pay off huge. Completing rows of stand-up targets pays off huge. Like with Africa, there’s a heavily unbalanced and relatively low-risk mini-field that puts a damper on everything because the logical strategy is to go for it and grind-up easy points. None of us hated Amazonia, but none of us loved it either. Except Sasha, but she beat the crap out of us on it.
Pack: Natural History Pack 1
Vice Family High: Cathy “IGC” 117,029,540
Cathy: GOOD – Sasha the Kid: GREAT – Angela: GOOD – Oscar: GOOD
Scoring Average: 3.25 – Awarded a CLEAN SCORECARD

DEEP OCEAN

One of the few bad tables in the Natural History series, Deep Ocean should instead be renamed “Deep Drain” from all the angles the drain swallows-up live balls. Most of the return angles are shallow and aimed at the drain. You’d swear this is a Zen original with how trollish those angles are. A sharpshooter can get away with a table based around rapid-fire transitions from offense to defense, but not a big, complicated monstrosity like Deep Ocean. Also, those left rails are among the consistently deadly of any rails we’ve experienced. This is a table that crosses the line into demoralizing, but it lacks the fun shots that make up for it. The best thing we can say about Deep Ocean is that it speaks to how strong the Zaccaria Deluxe line’s premise is, because it’s not even close to THE PITS for any of us. Instead, it’s just frustrating to the point of boredom.
KICKBACK – Oscar: How did I raise such soft kids? Deep Ocean’s problems are entirely related to how easy it is to work the bumpers for high-yield, low risk points. The return angles are dangerous, but you can defend against them. What was the point of buying an expensive table with relatively accurate nudge detection if you kids aren’t going to use it to defend the drain? Magic Pixel has got to start learning some semblance of scoring balance, but the challenge Deep Ocean presents is hardly insurmountable.
Pack: Natural History Pack 2
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 76,847,980
Cathy: BAD – Sasha the Kid: BAD – Angela: BAD – Oscar: GOOD
Scoring Average: 2.25 – BAD

DINOSAUR DYNASTY

Dinosaur Dynasty is the definition of a pinball killer app and potentially one of the greatest Magic Pixel pins ever. But, it’s not, because it’s one of the most problematic pins. Angela especially has a legitimate beef with it, as it became the first table to crash our AtGames pin, and it was after she had a 90,000,000+ ball (a top 50 pace). It also had an uncanny tendency to not recognize made shots during modes. Since all scoring halts during modes, it’s a dinosaur-sized problem to have even one shot be made, complete the circuit, and not count, for whatever reason, towards progress. This happens a lot with Zaccaria’s Deluxe line, but Dinosaur Dynasty 1 is the absolute worst with it. Now, here’s the good news: all four Vices are ready to roll out the red carpet for Dinosaur Dynasty to enter the Pinball Chick Pantheon of Digital Pinball. This DESERVES to be an elite pin, with a killer layout and a wide variety of satisfying shots and targets. The mini-tables never feel like a grind. The layout feels fully optimized for multiball. Look, we all hate the Magic Pixel “no scoring during modes” setup. It’s lame and I hope they mature past it eventually. But, Dinosaur Dynasty is easily one their best tables ever and worthy of a perfect score, and it’s only not getting one due to terrible coding. Magic Pixel, you have GOT to fix this. Dinosaur Dynasty should be your flagship pin. The ROM seems to be pretty slow in general, it takes FOREVER to count up points, but if you fix it and it recognizes every made shot, we will induct this in the Pantheon.
Pack: Natural History Pack 1
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 119,203,200
Cathy: GREAT – Sasha the Kid: GREAT – Angela: GOOD – Oscar: GREAT
Scoring Average: 3.75 – Awarded a CERTIFICATE OF EXCELLENCE

DINOSAUR DYNASTY 2

Yep, this is a franchise now. Actually, thanks to the ROM issues with the first table, right now the sequel has a high scoring average. 0.25 points higher, but higher is higher. We greatly admire that this follow-up to Dinosaur Dynasty plays NOTHING like the first. You feel it in the modes, which have a wider variety of targets and no timer running against you. Well, not exactly running against you. You can’t time out, but every mode is potentially high-yielding if you can get your shots off fast enough because they have hurry-ups attached to them. Good thing, too, because DD2 is one of the easiest Magic Pixel pins. This is a positive, though. Dynasty 2 can be an excellent trainer table for the more complex pins in the Deluxe line. On the downside, this is a pretty boring multiball table, which is a shame because it’s an easy multiball to activate. Dinosaur Dynasty isn’t the most exciting table, but it also makes very few mistakes.
Pack: Natural History Pack 3
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 289,935,470 (#10 All Time)
Cathy: GREAT – Sasha the Kid: GREAT – Angela: GREAT – Oscar: GREAT
Scoring Average: 4.0 – Awarded a CERTIFICATE OF EXCELLENCE

EGYPT

Egypt is so full of burst-scoring mini-modes that it’s almost a surprise this is a Magic Pixel table. The mini-modes are based around different Egyptian Gods, and each mode is quick to activate and scales based on how many times you activate each mode in a single ball. You can get up to five million per shot with these, if you grind-up the value. Other than the transfer shots required to make your way to the basement, they might be too easy. The transfer from the basement to the primary playfield is done via the plunger in a way that directly feeds the primary flippers. Because of that, the basement isn’t merely low-risk, but no-risk. Unless the game crashes. Angela, yet again, was the victim of a crash, during the basement when she built up a massive value of the easy-to-shoot HORUS mode. At least it was only once this time and there were no instances of the table just not recognizing made shots. The main modes feel like extended versions of the mini-modes, only there’s no timer and optional bonus points to be had by completing an extra task while the mode is live. Ancient Egypt is a digital pinball staple and, while this offers nothing new, the layout is pretty fun, even if the thrills are low thanks to the basement and the main table being so disconnected from each-other.
Pack: Natural History Pack 2
Vice Family High: Oscar “OEV” 430,481,570 (#7 All Time)
Cathy: GREAT – Sasha the Kid: GREAT – Angela: GREAT – Oscar: GREAT
Scoring Average: 4.0 – Awarded a CERTIFICATE OF EXCELLENCE

EXOPLANETS

If Exoplanets were revamped to be more inline with the current crop of new Zaccaria/Magic Pixel Deluxe pins, it’d be one of our top-ranked tables. Magic Pixel’s fatal flaw has long been the fact that all other scoring pauses during modes, but that really hurts Exoplanets. There’s so many fun targets that go unloved during modes. Of course, Exoplanet has the shortest modes of any Zaccaria Deluxe Model. Like, seriously, the first mode is done in a single shot. Not one shot done three times. ONE SHOT! Exoplanet is a great trainer table for pinball newcomers. It also carries over the concept of portholes that act as the multiball locks and suck the balls in, ala the Zen Studios classic Ahch-To Island. Only these seem to create a gravity sink whether they’re “lit” or not. It’s also worth noting that this was the AtGames exclusive we’ve reviewed so far that didn’t merely crash but froze the entire device and forced us to recycle the power. So, beware this one. The good news is that Exoplanets is likable. Almost like the logical spiritual successor to PIN*BOT. We really hope Magic Pixel realizes that there’s nothing inherently sacred about their original builds for all these pins and revamps them all with new rules that open the game up during modes. We think Exoplanets would be a shoe-in for a Certificate of Excellence. Right now, it’s only okay.
Pack: Natural History Pack 1
Vice Family High: Sasha the Kid “KID” 173,538,420
Cathy: GOOD – Sasha the Kid: GOOD – Angela: GOOD – Oscar: GOOD
Scoring Average: 3.0 – Awarded a CLEAN SCORECARD

THE INSECT WORLD

Wait, didn’t Magic Pixel already do a butterfly-themed table? Farfalla Deluxe, right? No? Okay, well, this is a solid table too. It’s one of the easiest tables to juggle a combo with any of us have ever played, but Insect World flows so smoothly that the endless passing between four orbits, two of which are ramps, never gets old. In fact, we were putting up monster scores without even starting modes. It wasn’t until Angela went crazy and shot the lights out after crashing a nine-figure first ball (seriously, don’t make her mad. It just makes her shoot better) that we even found out how to start a mode at all. The mode start is a six-shot locker that’s tucked away from other targets. It’s an odd choice, to the point that it felt like they almost forgot to make a mode start target and just shoved it wherever they could find room. Insect World is such a well-flowing table that we’ll grant them that one instance of inelegance. We liked that each set of lane lights are independent to each flipper, something we’d like to see a lot more of in the future. Angela wants to stress that they need to patch this, because she crashed it a couple times and was ready to quit AtGames reviews altogether. It started to feel spooky that it was only happening to her. It speaks to how good this table can be that Angela wanted to finish what she started. In a solid pinball franchise, Insect World is a standout. Get rid of the butterflies swooping over the playfield, though.
Pack: Natural History Pack 3
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 494,643,600 (#8 All-Time)
Cathy: GREAT – Sasha the Kid: GREAT – Angela: GREAT – Oscar: GREAT
Scoring Average: 4.0 – Awarded a CERTIFICATE OF EXCELLENCE

THE LAST ICE AGE

Last Ice Age is a potentially great table that’s about one-third worse off just based on the violence of the bumpers and slingshots alone. We’ve had entire 60 second timers eaten up by balls bouncing around the bumpers. Mind you, you’re scoring NOTHING that entire time, too. This is one of those pins where the rest of the targets take a nap during a mode. The bumpers are too close too close to each-other, and for a few of the modes, they’re basically unavoidable because the lit shots feed them. The slingshots are equally as violent, so 60 seconds to finish a mode is NEVER sixty seconds of actual chances at winning the mode, especially since so many angles drop the balls straight on those ultra-violent slings. Ice Age is hypothetically a close cousin of Egypt, with lots of mini-modes that would be fun if not for the fact that the slings and bumpers prevent you from even being able to shoot the ball in the first place. This is also one of those tables where you shoot saucers instead of targets or cellars, and even if the shot is on point, it’s a coin flip if the ball will actually score the saucer or just roll out. Ice Age is a GREAT table rendered barely okay. There’s nothing it does wrong that Magic Pixel couldn’t adjust. They should, because the modes are good enough that this should cruise to Certificate of Excellence.
Pack: Natural History Pack 1
Vice Family High: Oscar “OEV” 250,082,060
Cathy: GOOD – Sasha the Kid: GOOD – Angela: GOOD – Oscar: GOOD
Scoring Average: 3.0 – Awarded a CLEAN SCORECARD

NATURE’S FURY

Nature’s Fury was going to be the worst of the Natural History pins even if it didn’t make some of the most mind-bogglingly dumb design choices of any AtGames exclusive table. This is a house ball machine, with several auto-plunges ricocheting off fixtures and down the drain in a way you can’t possibly defend against. Seriously, this plunger needs to be taken out back and shot like Old Yeller, then replaced with a new plunger that actually sends the ball up and into the playfield. It doesn’t matter though, because randomly killing balls is this table’s thing. We only managed to play the first two modes, the first of which is lightning strikes. You have to hit the flashing ramps five times, and while you do this, the table shoots your ball with lightning, stopping the shots dead in their tracks. We’re not kidding. Anyone want to play a pinball table where literal sky magic stops your ball from completing a shot that’s on point? More than once, the ball was literally on the ramp when the lightning hit it and sent it backwards. The final straw was that getting into a shooting rhythm isn’t possible because if you make the ramp shot too close together, the game likely won’t count it. This is one of those tables where the ROM is so slow that you have to wait for it to finish processing the previous made shot before you can make it again. So even making the ramp five times doesn’t guarantee you win because it just plain might not count some of the shots. Hey, Magic Pixel: your scoreboards don’t need as much animation as you do with them, because those animations are breaking the games! They’re scoreboards, not Hollywood productions! Stop it! This table themed around disasters lives up to the theme in the worst way possible.
Pack: Natural History 3
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 364,172,320
Cathy: THE PITS – Sasha the Kid: THE PITS – Angela: THE PITS – Oscar: THE PITS
Scoring Average: 1.0 – 💩CERTIFIED A TURD💩

POLAR EXPEDITION

We assume they gave this a polar theme because the pace is glacial. Did this table REALLY need seven jet bumpers at the top? Seven! It slows the gameplay to a crawl, especially since so many angles lead to the eight lanes that feed the bumpers. Yikes. Well, at least they didn’t do anything truly moronic, like tying a high-scoring two-ball multiball to the bumpers. Oh wait, they did. Yea, it doesn’t take that many bumps to activate Antarctic Multiball, where you can juice the jackpot values by shooting the SEAL saucer. Okay, well, tell me that they didn’t further compound this problematic design by, say, tying the ball save to the slingshots, which are basically unavoidable. Oh wait, they did that too. Both Angela and Sasha had 200,000,000 point multiballs from this easy to get multiball alone. So, why aren’t they the world champions? Because they couldn’t avoid starting the low-scoring modes, where all other targets stop putting up any points. Since basically every shot is tied to a different mode start, you could end up stuck grinding out the lit mode shots when multiball will earn you 50x their value. Any table where you DON’T want to start modes is guaranteed to fail. Ignore the 2.0 we gave it, because Polar Expedition’s entertainment value is sub-zero.
Pack: Natural History Pack 2
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 396,258,060 (#14 All Time)
Cathy: BAD – Sasha the Kid: BAD – Angela: BAD – Oscar: BAD
Scoring Average: 2.0 – BAD

WORLD OF MICROBES

Easily the most odd of the Natural History tables, World of Microbes has a fairly conventional layout that’s made “wacky.” The mini-field is mostly (but not entirely) accessible through a whiparound loop, which is shaped like a half-moon dimple on the left wall and basically acts as a transfer if shot correctly. It’s so satisfying to shoot, and the mini-field pays off high enough to make it worth shooting. The rest of the table is downright tame, but there’s one final twist: Magic Pixel’s best use ever of digital targets. The “modes” see players shooting at different viruses that roam around the table. While they make for good targets, they’re not as good as they could be. Because the whole Zaccaria Deluxe engine is apparently slow, the little viruses and bacteria sprites that you shoot don’t die on impact. There’s a pronounced delay from the time contact is made until they go into their death animation. Thus, there’s no OOMPH, and without that, it takes away all satisfaction these targets should, by all rights, be loaded with. In general, we’re not happy with the performance of the ROMs for any Natural History table, but World of Microbes is the first one where it actively sucks the excitement out of the gameplay. If they fix this, it’s another game that can cruise to a Certificate.
Pack: Natural History 3
Vice Family High: Angela “ADV” 208,916,960
Cathy: GREAT – Sasha the Kid: GOOD – Angela: GOOD – Oscar: GOOD
Scoring Average: 3.25 – Awarded a CLEAN SCORECARD

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Xena: Warrior Princess (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 23, 2024 by 2 Comments

Xena: Warrior Princess
First Released May 16, 2024
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX
Designed by Anna Lengyel
Set: Universal TV Classics ($14.99)

Special Consideration – Half-Broken Physics Options: Xena has a problem specifically limited to the “normal physics” setting in both the main modes (Classic & Arcade) and all four challenge modes. The left ramp (the third shot from the left, with the wooden bridge) has something horribly wrong with it. It’s one of the most reject-heavy ramps in Pinball FX and there’s no rhyme or reason when it will work, but it absolutely won’t work from a trapped ball shot dead solid perfect at full speed at it. The ball stops before getting to the top of the shot and is flung back down. The most basic, tried-and-true shot you can make in pinball, even if the shot literally can’t be more accurate, still doesn’t work. This is NOT affecting our overall rating of Xena, which we’re awarding our Certificate of Excellence to, but please note our review applies ONLY to “realistic physics” at this time. We consider “normal physics” played in any mode on Xena to be OUT OF ORDER. This should be an easy to spot and easy to fix patch for Zen Studios. But please be careful not to damage anything while fixing it, Zen, because right now this thing plays so good. Might want to give a longer grace period on the kickbacks, though. And tone them back too. And give Anna a high five, because she earned it with this one.

What a turnaround Xena made. Upon release, it was basically unplayable. Thanks to patchwork, the maddening difficulty was toned way the hell down, and the end result is Xena is now unquestionably one of 2024’s best pins. Let’s get the problematic aspects out of the way first. The kickbacks aren’t well done because of Zen’s continued insistence that they be violent, unpredictable trash fires. Go through all the trouble of lighting both kickbacks only to have the ball go down an outlane, be launched out and go down the OTHER outlane, be kicked back out and straight down the opposite outlane. Instances of both kickbacks being lost from a single triggering is high enough that it feels deliberate. The mini-table is, like so many Zen mini-tables, circular in shape and boring. It’s like they have a cookie-cutter template for these things, because they feel so samey and usually have similar objectives regardless of the theme of the pin.

Signature Mode – Caesar Roman Assault: Holy crap! Look at all those cardboard targets! There’s no way this has any sense of grace to it, right? WRONG! The placement is as perfect as a spam-it-all target gets. Ironically, even though you’re shooting enough people to count as a “crowd” there’s absolutely no crowding! There’s also no blocking, so there’s multiple safe angles for each target. Instead, the challenge is from the sheer volume of targets and the fact that the offensive-oriented Xena temporarily becomes a pick ‘n flick-style defensive shooter. There are lethal angles to the targets, but in that good, pinball type of way. Really nice. We all really loved this mode.

Finally, and this is a weird one that my friends and family mostly disagreed with: I didn’t find the Chakram that exciting of a shot. I have no clue why that is, either, because by all rights this should be one of the stronger skillshots and gameplay elements in Pinball FX, but it just didn’t “do it” for me. Maybe because there’s a similar shot in Marvel’s Women of Power: A-Force that just does the same thing better. Sometimes these things are inexplicable. But, with all that said, whoa! Xena is packed-full of fantastic orbits, unique modes, thrilling shots, and some of the best uses of cardboard targets in Pinball FX. The sheer volume of cardboard targets in the above mode is jaw dropping, but the angles they take aren’t designed to ice your ball. In fact, this is one of the few modern Zen tables that doesn’t feel mostly defensive in nature. This is a SHOOTERS pin, and that’s such a breath of fresh air. Even the grind isn’t that bad, and when modes require a little too many shots, at least the payouts aren’t ridiculously back-loaded. In fact, I think Xena’s rule sheet might be its greatest triumph. The scoring is fine-tuned to scientific perfection in a way that would make Lyman Sheats proud. Anna Lengyel’s Homeworld is going to be lambasted by us, but it’s Xena that proves that she’s an elite pinball designer.
Cathy: MASTERPIECE (5 out of 5)
Angela: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Oscar: MASTERPIECE
Jordi: GREAT
Sasha: GREAT
Dash: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Elias: GOOD (Nintendo Switch)
Primary Pinball FX Scoring Average: 4.16 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Nintendo Switch Scoring Average: 4.2 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜

Pictured: something not as exciting as you would hope. Makes for a fun track toy, though. This is kin to Getaway’s supercharger, but not a SHOT that you have to factor in.

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Doctor Strange (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 14, 2024 by Leave a comment

Doctor Strange
First Released December 17, 2013
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX
Designed by Ivan “Mad_Boy” Nicoara
Set: Marvel Pinball Collection 1 ($23.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki 

One of the more life-like tables in terms of layout.. OR IS IT? Instead of using a diverter, the left ramps magically change direction, splitting apart and merging again. Neato.

Doctor Strange’s table is a strange one, indeed. Lots of conventional angles and smooth-sailing orbits make this enjoyable enough as a finesse shooter’s table. It’s too bad it can’t just give you the ball when it starts a mode. It has to violently spit the ball out so that it ricochets around, and sometimes it’ll just drop straight down the drain. Come on, enough of that. Seriously, at one point, I had a two ball multiball where both balls were shot directly from the VUKs down the drain, then I had to watch as the balls got stuck in the plunger. Absurdly, that’s not even Doctor Strange’s biggest issue. That would be the short amount of time you get to complete modes. They just don’t give you long enough for a table that has ball movement this loose, and one that deliberately eats up time before you even get your first shot. You could have as little as one shot at each ramp, and if the ball finds its way to the bumpers, you’re probably going to fail the mode. This is one of those tables where Zen desperately needs to go back and redo the rules completely from scratch. They can do an entire advertising campaign about having updated the ROMs for the tables. Nobody is saying “erase the old version forever.” We ain’t George Lucas. No, keep it up and call the reworked versions “The 2025 Builds” or something like that.

Signature Mode – Baron Mordo: One of the most fun modes on a middling table, five portals open in the middle of the midfield. When you shoot them, the ball teleports to the corresponding portal and completes the orbit at super speed, complete with sound effects right out of a 1960s Hanna-Barbera cartoon. It’s so cheesy and we all love it. We just wish it gave you another ten seconds to make each shot.

Doctor Strange features better than decent modes, mind you, and I especially enjoy how each has its own two shot driver. ONLY TWO SHOTS? Are we SURE this is a Zen table? Sure, they overvalued the modes to finish them, which feels like an over-correction so that players avoid chopping wood with combos. The layout is fine, which is why the modes need fixing. It wouldn’t require a lot of work for Zen to go in, add time to the modes (double, at least) and then cut their value by maybe 25%. There’s a marvelous table in here, and combos are such a cinch to shoot that you can veg out. I just wish the mechanics were more forgiving and/or less aggressive. On the positive side, this is easily the cheesiest table in Pinball FX. It’s so wildly cartoonish that it’s honestly more charming than most recent Marvel Cinematic Universe films and media combined, including the second Doctor Strange movie. The layout is fine. It might lean a little too heavily into defense, but with the smooth shooting combos, it’s easy to relight the kickbacks. Everything comes back to the timer and the fact that Doctor Strange is too aggressive with its multiball serves. They turn what should be one of the elite Marvel pins into a table located firmly in the middle of the pack.
Cathy: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Angela: GOOD
Oscar: GOOD
Jordi: GOOD
Sasha: GOOD
Scoring Average: 3.0 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

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Deadpool (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 14, 2024 by Leave a comment

Deadpool
First Released June 24, 2014
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Not Yet Released
Designed by Tamas “Ypok” Pokrocz
Set: Marvel Pinball Collection 2 ($29.99 MSRP)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki

Deadpool looks the part. No doubt about it. There’s a ton of Easter Eggs and winks to the audience. But, it comes with a price: it can take FOREVER for the animations to wrap up, which means waiting around. Even holding the flippers, it can take a while. It can mess with your shooting stroke.

One of the call outs in Deadpool has him saying Zen Studios should make an M-rated pinball game, and his stated reason results in him being bleeped for the next ten seconds. Zen? Make an M-rated table? Nah, it’ll never happen. In Deadpool, if you make a skill shot, there’s a very good chance you’ll score 500,000 points and also watch the ball go straight down the outlane that’s directly next to the plunger and fed by the skill shot, losing your ball save. I’m sure this was done to be a troll, because I guess Deadpool could lazily be interpreted as a glorified troll. Cool. Yea, Deadpool the Pinball FX table is quite the frustrating pinball experience. For the record: that skill shot isn’t a “git gud” element that adds challenge. It’s just crap design. Mind you, there’s a super skillshot if you hit the first, which you might not even get a chance at because of this design. Why would you make a table like that? People pay money for these, and your first instinct is to troll? But the whole table is that way. The bumpers are of the Creature from the Black Lagoon variety, and it’s not rare for a ball to get caught in them for a long time. On a table where time is money. Want to experience Deadpool-based agony without watching X-Men Origins: Wolverine? Try playing this table in the five minute mode. (About an hour after typing that, 9 year old Sasha took that as a bet and shortly thereafter became Pinball FX’s Deadpool 5 Minute Challenge Undisputed World Champion).

Signature Shot – Mode Start Filing Cabinet: The one ingenious aspect of Deadpool is how the mode start works. Once you hit the mode start lanes to light the cabinet, you can start the mode and play on EASY right away, or you can use the spinners to light other difficulties. Usually this means adding to the shot requirement or shrinking time limits. This is a great idea, and the modes are just good enough to carry Deadpool over the finish line. Even if it’s doing it one piece at a time. By the way, you’re not guaranteed to actually get the hardest difficulty even if you light it. You still have the ball into the top locker. In Sasha’s record-setting 5 minute challenge, her intent was to play on HARD, but after lighting it, the mode start shot fizzled off the jump and only went into the MEDIUM hole. And she still set the world record anyway. Go figure.

Deadpool has the same problem as Ant-Man: there’s something loose and inelegant about ball movement in this table. You can see it in the skill shot, when a tiny little bump with the plunger sends the ball flying. The bumpers and slingshots are the same way. This is what we call a “kinetic” table, though it feels more in terms of gravity than actual table mechanics. It feels like you’re shooting a marble instead of a steel ball. Maybe the table wouldn’t work without the lighter physics. I hope that’s not the reason, because if it is, that’s the point when a designer should tear the table down and start over, not slap a price tag on it and release it. So, I must have hated the table, right? Actually, it won me over thanks to the way the mode start is handled, plus the modes themselves are pretty good. From shooting garbage that rains from the sky to the miniature Deadpool. The only one I disliked was a button mashing arm wrestling sequence. Button mashing is one of those accessibility things that needs to be phased out unless it’s a specific button mashing genre (like Track & Field games).

Signature Shot – Lil’ Deadpool: Okay, so as far as digital targets go, this is slightly weak since he just wiggles there after completing other tasks. What makes it more interesting is that we started setting records once we began trying for medium difficulty. Instead of three sequences of hitting the spinners and shooting the lockers to set up Lil’ Deadpool, you have to do four. For much more points. Yea, that’s a fair trade.

Even with the physics problems, I have to give it up to Ypok. He did a fairly decent job of balancing the difficulty and risk/reward between EASY/MEDIUM/HARD difficulties. It also helps that the harp-shaped playfield inherently has good combo shooting that feels different from a typical “pick a lane, any lane” out and back again combo shooting. Do I think Deadpool lives up to its potential? Oh, not even close. This thing feels SO WEIRD in terms of speed and bounce. If this hadn’t been Deadpool, they could have just as easily based it on Sonic The Hedgehog with how fast it runs and how much punch you get off the slingshots or even the grenade that acts as a ball save. The story isn’t “Deadpool wins a Clean Scorecard” but instead “Deadpool’s physics prevented it from winning the Certificate of Excellence that the layout and modes deserved.” On the other hand, this is the rare IP that is so enticing that pretty much everyone wants to play it, and it’s actually good enough that everyone should at least enjoy it more than dislike it. That counts for something in my book.
Cathy: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Angela: GOOD
Oscar: GOOD
Jordi: GOOD
Dash: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Sasha: GREAT
Scoring Average: 3.33 – 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.
Read my review of the Deadpool NES game.

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The Addams Family (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 12, 2024 by Leave a comment

The Addams Family
Pinball FX Debuting Pin
First Released March, 1992
Zen Build Released February 16, 2023
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX
Coin-Op Designed by Pat Lawlor
Conversion by Zoltan ’Pazo’ Pataki
Stand Alone Release ($9.99)
Links: Internet Pinball Database Listing – Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
Read the in-depth review at The Pinball Chick

This was supposed to be in the 130+ table Pinball FX Table Review Guide, but since it can’t handle posting a review that large, I decided to split up all the table reviews into separate posts. The guide originally included brand new short form reviews for a few tables we already posted full reviews for. So hell, why not just post it anyway? Though I swear on all that is holy this is the last time I’m doing an Addams Family table. Unless they include the gold version eventually.

This is it. This is pinball’s all-time sales champion. The only modern pin that sold over 20,000 units. And, yea, it absolutely deserves that status. While I’ll insist until the day I die that whatever happened to be the best pin of 1992 was probably fated to be the biggest seller ever, it’s also not a cosmic fluke that Addams was the chosen one. It’s probably the greatest example of theme integration in the medium’s history. It just feels exactly like how the lyrics of the Addams Family theme song describe them. Creepy? Check. Kooky? Check. Mysterious? Check. Spooky? Actually, yea. Check-check. Every table with a darker, macabre theme that came after Addams tried to recreate the magic and couldn’t. Tales from the Crypt. Scared Stiff (which is ironically a better version of the Tales from the Crypt theme, only with Elvira instead of the Crypt Keeper). I think the modes play a big part in that. I wish Zen Studios would try to make a pin that replicated the Pat Lawlor 90s style of “doors” as featured in this and Twilight Zone. Checking off the doors isn’t a grind at all, but staying alive might be. Addams is one of the rare pins that can get away with a plethora of house balls and keep people coming back for more. Even that feels true to the spirit of the theme, and it never fails to generate laughs in my house when it happens. Do you realize how SPECTACULAR of a table you have to be to get away with that? Addams is practically in a class of its own. By the way, this is THE greatest table of the 1990s for duels. We’re always down to throw hands at Addams in the Vice House. It’s a guaranteed good time.

Signature Element – T-H-I-N-G Lock: This is one of those things.. literally, in this shot’s case.. where the charm of a real table is lost. When you play a physical version of Addams Family, having a disembodied hand come out of a box and grab the ball is a sight to behold. I can’t imagine what this must have looked like in an arcade in 1992, when interactive toys in pinball were a genuine rarity. It must have been quite the treat. But, thirty-two years later, it’s just an extended break in the action, is it not? Pinball FX has tables where full fledged zombies walk around on the table, and I’m supposed to still get excited to see this slow-ass hand come out of the box? Granted, sometimes the break is a welcome one, since this is one of the more chaotic pins out there. But, if you’re in the middle of a hot streak, it might totally screw up your shooting rhythm, especially if the lock is already occupied and Thing is just going to put the ball right back. So agonizing.

Zen has done a pretty good job with Addams. Hell, the Thing Flips auto-shot is even somewhat improved from the launch version, though it’s still pretty inaccurate. Oddly enough, it’s a pretty good shot exclusively on Nintendo Switch, but that version has major issues regarding the electric chair. In real life, when the ball is dropped from the electric chair and you take a dead flip, it’s very rare for the ball to roll up the right outlane and activate the (temporary) electric chair switch. It does it almost every time on Nintendo Switch. That’s a big problem because it allows you to cheese the doors. That alone almost cost it from winning our Certificate of Excellence, as it barely made it over the scoring average threshold. Also, and this is slightly nit-picky but the extra ball shot feels a little inaccurate regardless of which version (or mode) you’re playing with Addams. The biggest difference between the real life and Zen versions all comes down to physics. Pinball FX’s engine is poor at things like bounces. On a real table, if you brick the Thing Flips shot, you might be able to convert the rebound and make the shot anyway. The ball just doesn’t ricochet enough to do that on Pinball FX. So, in all fairness, I can’t say this is a life-like take on Addams. It’s probably 85% there, but it’s also probably accurate to say the problems with Pinball FX’s engine affect Addams more than any other Williams pin. Maybe someday they’ll find the other fifteen percent, but we all prefer Zen’s build to standard Pinball Arcade port anyway. Addams Family is an imperfect port of what might be the perfect 90s pin.
Cathy: MASTERPIECE (5 out of 5) GREAT on Switch (4 out of 5)
Angela: MASTERPIECE (GREAT on Switch)
Oscar: GREAT (GOOD on Switch)
Jordi: MASTERPIECE
Dash: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Sasha: MASTERPIECE (GREAT on Switch)
Dave: GREAT (Nintendo Switch)
Elias: GOOD (Nintendo Switch)
Primary Scoring Average: 4.5 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Switch Scoring Average: 3.66 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜

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Darth Vader (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 12, 2024 by Leave a comment

Darth Vader
First Released October 15, 2013
Main Set: Pinball FX
Switch Set: Star Wars Pinball
Designed by Ivan “Mad_Boy” Nicoara
Set: Star Wars Pinball Collection 1 ($23.99)
Links: Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki

Be afraid. Be very afraid. In Darth Vader, every shot is high risk, yet this is a table made in the days before Zen started a crusade against ball control. This is a table that says “I DARE YOU TO CATCH AND SHOOT!” That’s tough enough without trollish ball returns. Had this table been made today, they’d aim the orbits at the drain and Darth Vader would be among the worst pins ever made. Hopefully if they take my advice to go back and rework the rule sheets for their old tables, their design staff doesn’t take that as a cue to break the tables. I literally mean “just fix the rules.” In fact, now I’m actually reconsidering this whole “rework the old pins” thing. I’m getting a weird “monkey’s paw where your wish has unexpected consequences” vibe. “Wish granted! Every pin will now be remade.. by Daniel ‘Dolby’ Vigh!” “NOOOOOOOOO!”

Darth Vader is maddeningly difficult, and also one of my favorite tables among the Star Wars tables. I ranked it #1 among the pins included in the Nintendo Switch compilation Star Wars Pinball, which is pretty much all the Star Wars pins in this feature except Classic Collectables and Mandalorian. Enough time has passed and enough replays have happened that I no longer believe that, and actually I’m not even rating Darth Vader a MASTERPIECE. Still top five among the Star Wars pins? I think so, but that’s mostly because there’s nothing quite like it anywhere in the pinball world. The unconventional angles, especially shots off the left flipper, are some of the most nail-biting tight squeezes I’ve seen on any pin. It’s a table where it’s hard to get into a rhythm because the shots themselves are so difficult. Especially the bat flipper, which is essentially an invisible Ritchie Loop. Or maybe it’s the brutal toe shot with minimum clearance that must travel the full length of the table.

Signature Mode – Darth Vader Assembly: Players are given the option to start a game of Darth Vader in what is the only easy aspect of the entire table. You have to shoot zone-style magnetic targets which capture the ball and score a million points a pop. It’s an easy ten million points, which is a LOT of points in this specific pin. There’s no time limit to this mode and the only real catch is that Darth Vader in general has a short ball save, so it’s not completely unlikely you would die during this mode. So what? There’s no logical reason anyone should skip it. You only lose out on one skill shot chance, which is only worth 500,000 points and gives you a crack at an even more difficult super skill shot for a million points. 1.5 million or 10 million. Hmmmmm. If you want your pins to be story-driven, Zen, just f’n do it! Don’t be wishy-washy about it! Stand by your convictions!

The above segment isn’t why I’m dropping my score of Darth Vader. It’s that Darth Vader’s modes require too many shots done with too much precision. It’s not even the checklist itself. There’s set-up shots that put the ball in position to make the check mark that also require complete precision. This on a table that is arguably the toughest-shooting good table in Pinball FX. There’s a reason why Darth Vader’s leaderboard features significantly lower scores than other tables. It’s because even pros would struggle to heat-up on this one. Some of the modes are so out of reach they feel nearly impossible, like an intern accidentally input the wrong number and they just left it in. Like in a mode where the bumpers need to be hit 30 times in 60 seconds. Bumpers being those things that are out of the players hands. A running gag with me and IGC reviews is that I have unfathomably bad RNG luck. Well, in the final check before this review, I played twenty games of Darth Vader, and whenever I wasn’t on a bumper-specific mode, the ball would bang around for several seconds. BUT, whenever I actually needed to hit the bumpers, usually the ball would hit one then fall back to the flippers. In fact, that happens to me all the time with bumper-based modes a lot in Pinball FX and Pinball M. When they’re in the spotlight, they suddenly become shy.

Signature Mode – Trench Run: This mode WOULD be fun, but it goes too long and takes too much effort to unlock. Also, Pinball FX crashed during this after I’d shot down multiple ships. Like, I was kind of stunned by how many I’d shot down and the mode was still going when my Xbox Series X just said “nope” and I lost my game. I was on the 3rd ball with my highest score up to this point, around 80,000,000 points with 99M as the world record. That made two record runs I lost in a single week from a crash or a glitch. If that hasn’t earned me getting an achievement named after me in a future update, I don’t know what will.

It’s also worth noting that Darth Vader is not a table well suited to having a timer at all. Some of the shots, like the Super Jackpot, have a rail that doesn’t have the proper slope or any means to accelerate the ball. One time I valleyed the ball, which inched along the rear habitrail so slowly that it ate up the entire time limit of a mode all by itself. I have argued and will continue to argue that Zen could shut up everyone who complains about re-buying the old tables by completely overhauling the rule sheets. In the case of Darth Vader, this doesn’t feel like a luxury. It feels like something that NEEDS to happen because this table is f’n impossible. Oscar argues that if any table can get away with grindy, brutally difficult modes, it’s Darth Vader. He also concedes that, despite keeping his MASTERPIECE rating, they went overboard. Uh, yeah?! I still think as a pinball experience, Darth Vader is unique enough and the right kind of tough (in terms of shooting, not the modes themselves) that it’s, at minimum, a GREAT table. If you’re a fan of quick-draw sharpshooters, this might actually be Zen’s best table ever. Hell, even the scoring, ridiculously conservative as it is, seems to be well-balanced and spot-on. So, GREAT? Yep. In the discussion for best the Star Wars table? Not at all. Battle of Mimban and Clone Wars are a galaxy far, far away from it.
Cathy: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Angela: GREAT
Oscar: MASTERPIECE (5 out of 5)
Jordi: GREAT
Sasha: GREAT
Elias: GOOD (3 out of 5, Star Wars Pinball)
Overall Scoring Average: 4.0 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Star Wars Pinball Scoring Average: 4.0 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Primary Scoring Average: 4.2 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

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Curse of the Mummy (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 12, 2024 by Leave a comment

Curse of the Mummy
Pinball FX Debuting Pin
First Released February 16, 2023
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Not Yet Released
Designed by Anna Lengyel & Peter Grafl
Set: Zen Secrets & Shadows Pack ($14.99)
Links: Pinball FX Wiki

I kind of wish that Zen went all-out on original ideas like this one. I mean, it’s not ENTIRELY original. Hell, when I was a little kid, one of our computers had an Egyptian-themed pinball table that I always thought was part of the 3D Ultra Pinball line, but upon further research, I’m now almost certain it was called The Tomb. Anyway, more of this, Zen.

After years of developing tables based on classic Williams/Bally pins and licensed properties like Star Wars or Marvel, I find it comforting that Zen will still crank out generic themes that feel like something a lower-budget competitor would make. I’m not knocking that. I LOVE IT, because this lets them stretch their legs and come up with some inventive ideas using boilerplate themes. Curse of the Mummy hearkens back to a time when video pinball centered around tropes like Ancient Egypt or UFOs or Haunted Houses. The classics are classics for a reason. We originally had Cursed of the Mummy pegged as an instant-classic, but the VUK spitting the ball directly at the drain, and the waterfall that carries a ball down the drain? Yea, that became annoying, especially when you can’t really nudge to defend against it, and sometimes the VUK spits the ball out with just enough wobble to miss the flippers entirely and go right down the drink. Thankfully, following some patch work, they bandaged the table with an invisible ball save if the ball is bouncing around the bumpers or any other targets that hang directly above the drain. Using ball save to patch problematic design is the refuge of the desperate, but we’ll take it.

Signature Mode – Maze Blaze: A traditional light-chasing mode with a delightful twist. The inlanes have lit torches that ignite the ball, which you then use to light torches. To really sell it, the lighting changes to give the mode a darker, more foreboding tone. It’s WONDERFUL! The theme might be generic, but Anna Lengyel & Peter Grafl went all-out with it.

I really like the rest of the layout for Curse of the Mummy. A very classic design that has no driver, yet multiple thrilling shots. The Pyramid ramp that doubles as a jump-ramp AND a lock? Inspired. Both mini-tables in the upper corners have sharp, nail-biting angles on their shot selection, but they work really well too. Pretty much all the standard modes are fantastic. In addition to the great balls of fire in the above caption, there’s ones where a colony of scarabs flood the playfield and a couple modes that involve shooting clay tablets. Curse of the Mummy is also tailored especially well for multiball, which is a true rarity among tables that debuted in Pinball FX. It even has an old-fashioned video mode with a DMD display, even though Curse of the Mummy features an LCD scoreboard. It goes so far towards helping with the retro vibe. The funny thing is, Curse of the Mummy is packed with Pinball Noir, but that table doesn’t feel like a modern table with old fashioned sensibilities. Mummy does.

Signature Element – The Upper Playfield: Curse of the Mummy’s corners feature not one, not three, but TWO completely different mini-fields, both of which have a variety of shots. It’s insane how much action is squeezed into such a little space. They try this a lot in Pinball FX and Pinball M, often with disastrous results (see Star Trek: Discovery for an example of a mini-field gone horribly wrong). Curse of the Mummy’s mini-fields don’t feel like they fundamentally halt the table’s flow. The claustrophobic space works well with the monster theme, but it’s the transition from the mini-fields to the main playfield that makes these work. It’s pretty much instantaneous, making it feel like part of a greater whole instead of a completely different pinball-like thing growing out of the table like a tumor. Fantastic job!

There’s a second video mode where you have to catch falling balls of light that goes too long and it’s awful, but that’s really the table’s one and only stinker. There’s also typical Zen problems with grinding, but the shot selection is fun enough that it takes the edge off that. Post patch, the biggest complaint is probably just mild scoring imbalance issues, as some of the easier modes pay off too much compared to more difficult modes. There’s also almost no consideration for how much work goes into activating a mode in the scoring balance. But, that’s nit-picky, and Curse of the Mummy certainly isn’t guilty of anything that could be said about 90% of Zen’s work. A bigger question is “did the bandages they put on Curse of the Mummy to fix the house ball problem go too far?” Dad certainly thinks so. “You can deliberately let the ball drain off the waterfall and/or bumpers in order to get a more playable ball from the left VUK.” He’s not wrong, but at the same time, he admits that’s better than burning all your tilt warnings on a common ball path. The whole ball save thing didn’t bother me at all. I’m all for doing whatever it takes to make tables fair. Curse of the Mummy is proof that it’s a good thing, because the table was pretty mediocre before the patch. Now, we’re giving it an award. The irony that bandages helped a mummy-themed table isn’t lost on me.
Cathy: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Angela: GREAT
Oscar: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Jordi: GREAT
Sasha: GREAT
Overall Scoring Average: 3.8 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

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Crypt of the NecroDancer (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 12, 2024 by Leave a comment

Crypt of the Necrodancer BackglassCrypt of the NecroDancer
Pinball FX Debuting Pin
First Released April 13, 2023
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX
Designed by Gergely ’Gary’ Vadocz
Stand Alone Release ($5.49 MSRP)
Links: Pinball FX Wiki

For all the crap I’m about to give Crypt of the NecroDancer Pinball, it received a Clean Scorecard from my team. A very difficult task, especially considering that all six “Primary” Pinball FX players (IE non-Nintendo Switch) submitted a rating and nobody thought it deserved less than a GOOD rating. My team consists of three millennials/Gen-Xers, a 75 year old retiree, and two children. All of us gave it a positive rating. This is a quality pin. Now, whether or not it reached its fullest potential is another matter.

Based on the indie stalwart that I’ve never really played, because my ability to keep a beat is right up there with my ability to do a Vince Carter 360 windmill jam. Thankfully, you don’t HAVE to be able to keep a beat in this pinball take on it, even though the game talks about it. Really, you just have to shoot whichever shot is lit and/or then shoot the shots where a C (for COMBO) is lit, which builds the coin multiplier, which increases the value of shots, defeated enemies, and bosses. Instead of thinking of this as a rhythm pinball game, think of it as musical chairs pinball. You just have to beat the modes before the music runs out. Jordi said this shares more DNA with something like Safe Cracker than it does with the indie it’s based off of, and he’s right. Now, we rank Safe Cracker second-to-last behind only Han Solo as the worst overall Pinball FX table, so that might sound like a bad thing. It’s not. The only difference is when the time runs out in Safe Cracker, you don’t automatically lose the game. Here, the ball dies if you haven’t completed the current task before the music stops. There’s no overtime, and that absolutely sucks. And what’s especially lousy is they have a perfectly logical penalty already in place. When you finish the mode, whatever music is left can be spent shooting jackpots or entering the store to spend diamonds. Missing out on that is punishment enough. You don’t have to kill them too. It’s rude!

Signature Element – Digital Targets: A few Pinball FX and Pinball M tables use what we’ve dubbed “digital targets.” Moving characters that aren’t cardboard targets, usually in the form of full characters. World War Z, Solo, Chucky’s Killer Pinball, and so forth have them. Crypt has probably the best ones. They’re not spongy, which is a major plus. In fact, this is one of the least grindy tables in Pinball FX. Except for collecting diamonds. That’s grindy, needlessly risky, and boring.

Mind you, there’s no actual numeric timer, which would be a nice concession for hearing-impaired players. That’s why it’s especially funny that I played a lot better when I muted the game (I often play all games muted) and just shot like I would any other table. I even broke five out of six available records on the Nintendo Switch version without hearing a single note. Angela, who wears headphones and listens to music when she plays pinball, was also frustrated by the lack of a visual timer. The layout is simple, with the highlight being digital targets based on enemies from the indie game that you smack. The digital targets are an absolute joy to shoot. They never feel like a chore. The orbits are all satisfying to hit. But, there’s so many needlessly merciless moments. Like the diamonds. I’ve had many instances where I broke the brick that was hiding them and made the collection, only it then dropped the ball straight down the f’n drain. Off a made, incentivized shot. Crypt should have been an all-time classic in the annals of Zen Studios, but it’s merely okay because of wanton cruelty. The slingshots aren’t necessarily lethal, but they do burn off a lot of time. It’s not rare at all for the ball to get stuck in an extended volley between them. It looks like the slingshots are playing hot potato with each-other. Crypt doesn’t exactly feel lifelike, as the ball feels both too heavy while also gliding around like a hockey puck, and sometimes that’s good and sometimes that’s bad.

Signature Mode – Mini Table: I love the idea here, but the execution spoils the fun. It’s like a dueling pinball where the gravity reverses at the midway point of the table, and you’re trying to shoot the opponent’s drain. But, the physics are rough as hell. When the ball drains on your side, it’s supposed to be pushed back up into play, presumably by a burst of air. But sometimes the mechanism or physics fail and the ball falls immediately back down into the drain. Maybe it’ll go up and down without curving towards the flippers, but more often it doesn’t even clear the drain before it goes back down, costing you more chances if it’s a bonus room or your health if it’s the third boss. This isn’t something you could have flipped to save. The ball didn’t even make it that high. It’s literally inside the drain when whatever happens causes it to fall again. This happens constantly, and I try not to get angry at this type of thing, but this one got me because it’s just so lazy. Plus, it didn’t need to be this way in the first place. When the ball drains, the ball could have been teleported to the lane and the player loses health or chances, or have a VUK in the corner that spits the ball back out. Those options come with zero risk of mechanical or physics engine failure. No player can ever become frustrated by it and rendered less likely to purchase more Pinball FX tables. But, instead of doing that, nah, just a little puff of air that may or may not work. It’s one of those design choices so obviously bad that you can practically hear the designer saying “eh, maybe it just pops back up. Or not. Who cares? It’s only pinball!”

The center orbit (third from the left) is where the ball exits the shop, and once in a while, it just drops the ball straight down the drain (this effect is multiplied in the Switch version, where it happens so frequently it’s practically expected). Yes, you can nudge to defend it, but this one of those tables where the angles are tailor-made to push the ball towards the lane rails, and also the automatic ball serve might actually just roll so that you can just barely kiss the ball with the very tip of the flipper. I have no clue why they continuously do this type of thing, but on a table with a strict time limit that wants you to shoot to the beat of the music, shouldn’t the challenge have come from making shots? Even on an experimental table, their designers would rather do everything they can possibly do to prevent you from controlling the ball. They want you to make shots to the beat of the music, but they also want to make it as hard as possible to get off a shot. The absolute worst possible thing is someone holding the ball with the flipper. They couldn’t even let that mentality go this one time on a table that’s trying to do something no pinball table has ever done before. At this point, you have to wonder if Zen Studios design staff hobbles around on crutches on account of their constant shooting themselves in the foot. I wanted to give this a BAD rating because of the hostility towards ball control, but I couldn’t. The targets are too fun. The orbits are. The modes are. They’re so much fun that the story isn’t “Crypt of the NecroDancer barely gets a Clean Scorecard.” It’s “Crypt of the NecroDancer should have entered the Pantheon and it didn’t come close.”
Crypt of the Necro Dancer SmallCathy: GOOD (3 out of 5) THE PITS* on Nintendo Switch (1 out of 5)
Angela: GOOD – (BAD on Nintendo Switch, 2 out of 5)
Oscar: GOOD (GOOD on Nintendo Switch)
Jordi: GOOD
Dash: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Sasha: GREAT (GREAT on Nintendo Switch)
Elias: GREAT (Nintendo Switch)
Primary Scoring Average: 3.33 🧹CLEAN SCORECARD🧹
Switch Scoring Average: 2.8 – GOOD
*On Switch this thing dumps ball down the drain like crazy. Orbits that you can confidently shoot in the primary versions of Pinball FX kill you in this version. It needs work.
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

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Creature From the Black Lagoon (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 12, 2024 by Leave a comment

Creature from the Black Lagoon BackglassCreature From the Black Lagoon
First Released December, 1992
Zen Build Released October 29, 2019
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX 3
Designed by John Trudeau
Conversion by Zoltan Vari
Set: Universal Monster Pack ($6.99)
Links: Internet Pinball Database Listing – Strategy Guide – Pinball FX Wiki
Read the Full In-Depth Review at The Pinball Chick

In retrospect, the Creature sticker is a massive waste of real estate that could have been used on something more interactive, or just more lights and more “modes” for lack of a better term. At the end of the day, it’s just one of those 3D stickers that you see on the back of credit cards. I would have much rather had a movie screen target. It’s weird that this is a table themed around a drive-in theater and there’s no screen to shoot. If Zen ever starts to do sequels to Williams pins, they should start with a Creature table where you shoot a screen to FOCUS it.

The best thing Creature from the Black Lagoon has going for it is the near-certainty that it’ll spark a lively debate among silverball enthusiasts. While nobody HATES it, some people are just bored silly by it. Some people think it’s just alright but don’t get what all the hubbub is about. Its biggest fans REALLY like it, like my father for example. Oscar would normally hate a table with scoring as wildly imbalanced as Creature from the Black Lagoon, yet he’s given Creech the highest rating out of all of us. Dad fully admits this table is a guilty pleasure owed largely to an unforgettable theme. Yea, the drive-in concept is inspired, and so is tying it directly to a B-tier Universal Monster. It’s not a table about the Creature. It’s a table about teenagers watching the movie Creature from the Black Lagoon. That’s fantastic, but the shot selection is very limited, and the lack of scoring balance is especially damning. What’s far worse than the imbalance is the fact that risk/reward isn’t factored in at all. Take the jackpots for example. You shoot the snack bar scoop. That’s basically the lowest-risk shot on the board, but it scores the biggest points. What do you light the super jackpot with? The up-the-middle shot into the bumpers, which safely feed the right flipper the ball every single time. What flipper is used to shoot the jackpot? The right one.

Signature Shots – The Snack Bar Targets: One of the most frustrating shots of the DMD era of pinball are these four stand-up targets. In Classic and Arcade modes, you can shoot the scoop located above the right side targets to score the lights instead of shooting them directly, but only until you’ve scored your first jackpot. After that, you have to figure out an angle to hit them directly. I’ve been playing Creech for years and I still haven’t found a safe way to shoot these. It seems like I’m better off shooting other targets and getting the snackbar lights off ricochets if I miss.

I would LOVE for someone to go into Creech and rework every single shot’s value and incentivize full touring of the table. Create a reason for players to not just stick to the four shots that activate multiball. Even though we’ve called Creech’s gameplay “anti-flow pinball” it actually does have good shot selection. Both ramps are quite satisfying to complete. But when they come at a multiple of the risk and a fraction of the reward, there’s really no reason to shoot them besides the fact that it’s more sporting. Even if you reworked the game’s score sheet and created whole new modes, Creech is going to be a stop-and-go table. It’s what we call a “pick ‘n flick” and nothing is going to change that. So be it. With the shot selection as solid as it is, maybe a new scoresheet could turn Creature of the Black Lagoon into the greatest pick ‘n flick table of all-time. The sad thing is, if this had been a modern Stern table, that’s exactly what would have happened by now. They would have released an update that refined the gameplay at no cost to the shots themselves. There’s no reason Zen can’t keep the existing version AND create a more nuanced and elegant ROM for Creech. If any table among their Williams pins needs it, it’s Creech. The Black Lagoon must be freezing, because Creech is one of THE most polarizing tables in pinball history. But, since I know Zen is reading this: if you want to try an experiment with any of the Williams pins, this is the one to do it on.
Creature from the Black Lagoon SmallCathy: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Angela: BAD (2 out of 5)
Oscar: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Jordi: GOOD
Dash: BAD
Dave: BAD
Elias: GOOD
Sasha: BAD
Scoring Average: 2.65 – OKAY
Some review copies were provided in this review, others were paid for.

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