What I’m Playing Right Now #11

“What do you mean we didn’t get the G.I. Joe license for the NES?! We took the license, didn’t we? What do you mean it’s only for an arcade game? Well, who DID get it? Who the hell is Taxan? Wait, Capcom has it now? Are you telling me we missed out on a license we already develop for.. twice?! What license DID you get? Oh yea, sure Phil. I have a monster in MY pocket too, you pervert.” So, what AM I playing?

Oh my god.

The cynic in me thinks “Arc Hound” started life as a G.I. Joe game before it became a Contra game. And yep, now I get why Contra Force is shunned. Some of the most cheap-shot GOTCHA enemy placement combined with literally continuous slowdown. Pretty graphics mean NOTHING if the player’s NES is on the verge of a meltdown the entire time. This is a terrible game, and that REALLY pisses me off because there’s some excellent ideas here. Like this:

Strategic decisions by the player? Being able to swap between four different characters on the fly? Being able to set up your CONTRA FORCE as an actual squad that covers you and everything? That’s a great idea! I mean, the CPU clearly can’t handle this and the developers decided being total pricks with enemy placement was more important than fun, but hey, it’s not like this was some half-assed game. But, everything it does both right and wrong will be somewhere in the background, because I’ve never played a game with this much slowdown. Not even Kirby’s Adventure. If I was playing this on a real NES, it sort of feels like my console would be turning into a puddle at this point. Without exaggeration, the slowdown is continuous. Well, it should make for a fun review. For you. Not so much for me. That’s coming either tonight or tomorrow.

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That’s the full Taito Pinball line-up for AtGames Legends Pinball, whether it be a Micro, HD Legends, or 4K. We’re just getting started with the review process but we finished Arkanoid. That table would be an instant classic if not for the fact that the “bricks” (a 4×5 cluster of drop targets) reset after every death. Does it feel like an Arkanoid table? Not at all. But, it’s not bad either. We awarded it a CLEAN SCORECARD, and we’re just getting started. It’s also worth noting that Space Invaders DID get a table in 1980 that looks nothing like the video game but carries the license. It’s a widebody, and I think it sucks but it has some fans. From what I can gather, it’s one of the most polarizing tables ever made. Either way, that’s NOT the table that you get with Taito Pinball. They made a whole new one, and we’ll be reviewing it soon.