Ghost Manor (TurboGrafx-16 Review)

Ghost Manor
Platform: TurboGrafx-16
Released in 1992
Designed by Art Huff
Developed by ICOM Simulations
Published by Turbo Technologies, Inc.
NEVER BEEN RE-RELEASED (?)

What the hell kind of hero is that? Why does he have an “A” on his shirt? Did Alvin from the Chipmunks make a wish to be a real boy and that’s what he became? And by the way, you can’t see it but the A is on both sides. He’s an A both coming and going.

What horror themed game starring a character named Arthur did YOU think I was going to review? Well the thing is, next year is Ghosts ‘n Goblins 40th anniversary, and I think it’s a safe bet that the franchise will be getting a retro collection in 2025. Besides, what stuck out to me about this is I’ve already reviewed a game called Ghost Manor. It was for the Atari 2600 and the review is part of Atari 50: The Games They Couldn’t Include – Part Two. THAT Ghost Manor was an ambitious genre hodgepodge. While I didn’t ultimately give it a YES!, I admired that the company behind the Veg-O-Matic didn’t phone-in their attempt at carving-out a niche in the game industry. I wish I could say the same about this version of Ghost Manor. This take on the theme is a labyrinthine platformer that shares more DNA with Wizards & Warriors than Castlevania or Ghosts ‘n Goblins. Not good DNA, either. It’s one of those passed-on traits that’s not desirable, like asthma or, in this game’s case, slanted platforms that you slide down in a semi-controllable fashion. It’s not that Ghost Manor is a god awful game by any means. It’s just a basic, boring game that relies too heavily on GOTCHAs to ping your health away. One of this game’s main strategies for challenge is moments like this:

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Placing enemies on the other side of the door so that taking damage is a certainty is a trick Ghost Manor pulls all the time. Or entering a door only to have a monster on the other side on top of where you sprite will first come into existence. If this game had instakills, it’d be impossible. It’s a health tax, and nothing more. Why even do the enemies thing? Just take away some health to pass to the next screen. Weirdly, I still never died from taking damage. The only deaths were, like so many games, instakills from pits, environmental hazards, or direct contact with the game’s only boss. How it handles environmental hazards is so weird. Like, look at this screenshot.

I’m walking safely past the fire. BUT, had I jumped onto the same spot I’m on, I would have been killed instantly by the fire. The background suddenly, inexplicably counts as the foreground when it’s a danger element. This happens with spikes too (though they don’t kill you instantly). I don’t recall ever seeing anything like this before. It already doesn’t help that your character looks like a Cabbage Patch Kid that grew up, but once the scariest aspect of the game is bright lights in the background instead of actual monsters and skeletons, it’s probably time to rethink your game. Everything else about Ghost Manor is as generic as it gets. Hearts refill your life. Red orbs act as your projectiles and kill things. I was constantly running out of ammo and having to take damage.

See, I walked through this door and poof, damaged. By the way, some of the enemies that you kill split into two smaller versions that circle around you until you kill them or leave the room, but they don’t kill you. What are they doing? Taunting you?

On the other hand, there’s treasure chests or boxes all over that have life refills, ammo, points, and occasionally whammies (though nowhere near as many whammies as Ghosts n’ Goblins have). Even with this, there still wasn’t enough ammo. I reached the point where if an enemy wasn’t directly blocking the path I was on or I could easily avoid it, I didn’t kill it. Where’s the fun in that? A bigger problem is the way momentum works. Ghost Manor reminded me of the 3D version of Dragon’s Lair, because if you walked into any wall at any speed, Dirk the Daring recoiled. Well, this game does that too. It doesn’t damage you, but it absolutely grinds movement to a halt. There’s no consistency to it, either. Sometimes I was running full speed and no recoil happened. Other times I was attempting to get close to a wall with a platform so I could jump and my character was like “BOING.” It was just something I had to deal with. It’s such a weirdly sloppy thing to add to a game based around jumping and exploring because it has no benefit. It’s neither immersive nor does it add to the challenge, because I don’t even think it caused me to take damage even once. It’s just a bad idea in a game that feels like it’s grasping at straws.

I’m actually stuck here. I had to rewind the game to unstick myself. I couldn’t find any benefit to clipping through the wall like this so I assume it’s a glitch. There’s no guides anywhere for this game so if I’m missing something, I couldn’t find it.

The best thing I can say about Ghost Manor is that it’s pretty short. I finished it in under 90 minutes even though I’d never played it before. The level design isn’t half bad and the exploration is moderately okay. Weirdly, there’s no graphics to indicate whether something is locked or not, so it’s never quite clear what the key goes to when you find it. At one point, I was in a room that looked like the right wall opened up into another room. I’d seen over a dozen walls that looked exactly like it already. The door appeared open, but instead, I brained myself on it. Well, that’s because the key went to it. They couldn’t draw a door? Really? It’s a stunningly lazy game, and what’s even weirder is there is a logical way to help with that problem built into the game. When you face the final boss in a free-roaming room while riding a ghost, an arrow points you towards where the boss is in the arena. Why didn’t they just use that arrow to tell you where to take the key? It would have cut down on the busy work. And ultimately, that’s the problem with Ghost Manor: there’s no extra effort at all. The combat is boring, the movement sucks, and it doesn’t even really work as a “scary” game, especially with the perpetually smiling hero. I’d like to think Ghost Manor is a game starring a hero who is tripping balls on acid. If it’s true, it begs the question: what were those skeletons I killed, really?
Verdict: NO!