Operation C and The Castlevania Adventure (Game Boy Reviews)

October 28, 2024 11 Comments

Operation C
aka Contra in Japan
aka Probotector in Europe
Platform: Game Boy/Game Boy Color
First Released January 8, 1991
Designed by Toru Hagihara & Yukari Hayano
Developed by Konami
Included in Konami GB Collection Vol 1
Included in Contra Anniversary Collection

The Castlevania Adventure
Platform: Game Boy/Game Boy Color
First Released October 27, 1989
Designed by Masato Maegawa & Yoshiaki Yamada
Developed by Konami
Included in Konami GB Collection Vol 1
Included in Castlevania Anniversary Collection

In terms of graphics, this is one of the first great looking Game Boy games.

“Operation C? That’s a funny way of spelling Contra Force, Cathy.” Yea, here’s the thing: I haven’t posted a new review in a few days, but I’m also not ready to finish writing-up Contra Force. It’s one of those games that requires multiple play-throughs and lots of note taking. It’s bad, but not in a simple way. It’s both “complicated bad” and “bad, but in a way that could have just as easily been really good” and reviewing games that fit both those bills is easily the hardest part of what I do. Since I want to keep the content drip coming, I need a game that’s “uncomplicated good.” Thankfully, the Contra franchise is full of those, so the marathon continues uninterrupted. Except, it’s Halloween week, so I need to transition smoothly to Halloween-appropriate games. Well, again, that’s easy. Because these games complement each-other for all the wrong reasons. Operation C really proves how good the Contra formula is. Even with the game chopped-down to five levels, only three of which are side-scrollers, by golly, it’s still Contra. If amputated, colorless, laser-less Contra is still a good game, it’s a safe bet that we should be talking about this as one of the greatest classic gaming franchises of all-time.

How about it? A boss in the top-down levels that’s better than 90% of the top-down stuff from Super C? Yea, this slaps.

There’s not a ton to say about Operation C, but getting the obvious out of the way first: it’s probably the easiest Contra. I only died once in my warm-up game, making it all the way to the elevator section of the final level when, what is and isn’t a safe distance between you electric gates that come out of platforms isn’t clear. I think the problem is the beams squiggle but their collision boxes are one straight line. In my second playthrough, I aced the game without dying. I didn’t bother to do the “can I beat it without autofire” test because my hands are killing me. Too much pinball. Oh, and at this point, I should note that the second play-through was on the Game Boy Color-enhanced European exclusive release Konami GB Collection Volume 1, which has some ugly ass use of color.

Think that’s bad? You might want to put on sunglasses for this next one.

What’s especially weird is that the collection still uses the Probotector name, but unlike the original European version of Operation C, it just stuck with the Contra characters instead of re-spriting them as robots.

Yea, that’s pretty bad. Still not as bad as Castlevania’s logo looking like it’s ready to suit-up for the Los Angeles Lakers, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Operation C isn’t just missing levels. The machine gun is gone. The laser is gone. Even the rapid fire and invincibility are gone. There’s only three guns, one of which is new and one of which is changed. The spread gun starts with three bullets but, if you collect a second spread item, it becomes five. I’m pretty sure it’s the only one of the three that upgrades like that. The flamethrower is like the flamethrower from Super C, only it can’t be charged-up. A brand new gun, the homing gun, manages to nerf Operation C even more than spread. You fire heat-seeking bullets that seem to always pick the optimal enemy. Overpowered? Sure. The most overpowered gun in the franchise so far. But, at least it’s fun to use.

Can’t stress enough: the top-down levels have made the jump from “elephant in the room” to “legitimate highlight.”

Really, the best thing I can say about Operation C is that, like the two NES games, the designers were wise enough to optimize for FUN instead of blow-harded challenge. The game might be too easy, but I just played through it twice and I wasn’t even a tiny bit bored. Hell, the top-down levels are stronger than Super C’s. Most of the bosses are pretty fun to fight. The final two bosses, a generic tall alien that flies and a tube with some kind of alien that doesn’t even fight back or have any offensive move close the game, and I wasn’t a big fan. Too generic. The jumping is also harder to clock than the NES games, but Operation C is still probably one of the better NES-to-Game Boy efforts. It feels like a smaller, black & white version of the console games everyone loved. You can’t say the same about the first Castlevania release on the Game Boy.

Oof. When players are more scared of having to start over than they are of the settings, you’re doing Castlevania wrong.

Since it’s Halloween time, it’s time for me to move off the Contra marathon for the rest of the week and hit up Castlevania for the second straight year, and there’s enough classic Castlevanias for me to make this an annual tradition for a few years at least. Nice. Not so nice is starting 2024’s Halloween run off with THIS. Now granted, The Castlevania Adventure released over a year before Operation C. Konami had a lot more time to familiarize themselves with the Game Boy to assure their Game Boy Contra felt like a Contra game. In the United States, Castlevania Adventure was released only ten days before the first Christmas of my lifetime. By the time this thing had to go to manufacturing, Konami probably had an inkling that the previously snickered-at Game Boy was going to be a massive hit and the most desired gift for their target audience of 1989’s holiday season. Well, what kid wouldn’t want a handheld Castlevania? Even if what the series was hadn’t exactly been established. This beat Dracula’s Curse to the market in Japan by a couple months, so technically, the series up to this point was the NES game, the wonky and weird RPG-like Simon’s Quest, the exploration-based Vampire Killer for the MSX, and the unimaginable trash fire that is the arcade Castlevania spin-off/remake known as Haunted Castle.

What WOULD be the best idea in the game, hidden rooms like the one I’m going into here, is significantly muted by the total lack of non-whip weapons. They’re rooms with life refills and maybe a 1up. Whoopie.

So, saying that Castlevania Adventure does a poor job of being a Castlevania game isn’t entirely fair. What WAS Castlevania in 1989? Arguably, the only unifying aspects are the whip, a gothic horror tone, and Dracula. Hey, those are in this game! Good job. And yet, there’s something sinister about Castlevania Adventure, because it sure looks like it’s going to be fun in screenshots. Hell, I’d go so far as to say it looks great! Arguably the best looking Game Boy release of its first year. But, that becomes cruel, because playing Castlevania Adventure is the pits. Christopher Belmont must be one arthritic mother f*cker because he moves like his limbs are full of sand. Castlevania Adventure’s movement speed is roughly on par with any other game’s speed on levels where you get stuck waist-high in water or quicksand. That’s when the game is moving full speed. Castlevania Adventure frequently suffers from bouts of slowdown. This often happens while you’re in the middle of jumping. That’s sort of a big deal when the designers decided to make the #1 method of difficulty last pixel jumps and single-block-wide platforms.

This would have been the most clever bit in the game. There’s giant eyeballs that, when whipped, explode like seen here. Okay, neat, except they lead to more last pixel jumps. It’s not a last-pixel jump to jump over them, so I opted to do that. As if to troll me, it started sending two out. You’re not exactly nimble with the jumps, so I had no choice but to whip them. And it made the above gaps in the platform. Oh, and this was a dead end too. Yea, there’s a level with dead ends. I hate this game.

I have no doubt that Castlevania Adventure is the worst game in the series. I’ve played Haunted Castle, and miserable as that game is, at least it’s not as sluggish or boring as this. Even the exciting parts are ruined by going too long. After about one-third of the third level, the game becomes an auto-scrolling race against a rising spiked floor. This goes on FOREVER, and even after reaching the top, the race isn’t over. Then you have to race against the right wall moving in at you. It actually was very exciting.. for about a minute. But then it just kept going until it was exhausting, and then kept going even further until all the joy of surviving had been sapped from it, and it was STILL GOING. It also didn’t help that in the Konami GB Collection version I played, the same ugly banana yellow background from Operation C had returned.

Seriously, why? Who thought this was a good idea?

I think it was probably a good decision to review Operation C and the Castlevania Adventure as a pair, because I walked away with the impression that Castlevania had to die so that Operation C could live. Everything that you could possibly complain about with one is fixed in the other. I don’t expect the Game Boy to have peppy, fast-paced games, and Operation C isn’t. But, compared to a lot of 1989 – 1992 games, it stands out among action games for coming the closest to an NES-like pace. Castlevania Adventure only has four levels, but it feels much longer, and not in a good way. There’s almost no strategy or individualism to the game because there’s no sub-weapons. It’s just a matter of getting from point A to point B, and the only aid you get along the way is a fully upgraded whip can shoot a fireball that literally bounces harmlessly off the first boss. The bosses in Operation C are big and enjoyable to fight, even if they’re easy. The bosses in Castlevania Adventure, easily the highlight of the game, are average-at-best, and some are smaller than you are.

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Sometimes I play black & white Game Boy icons and think to myself “I’m so lucky I grew up with the Game Boy Color.” By that point, most studios knew how to build fun games tailored to its strengths. But, that was happening long before I got my first Game Boy. Even the Jetsons Game Boy title was really well done. I wonder how much of my own impression of Game Boy was soured by having bad luck with the black & white games I got to play before I started running through retro games on this blog? One of the first was Castlevania Adventure, and I hated it. I hated its sloth-like pace. I hated its jumping. I hated the level design. It might not be the worst game ever made, but it’s one of the most unlikable. Even if you pretend it’s not a Castlevania game, it doesn’t work as an action game. It’s too slow and clunky to be white-knuckle. It’s just a really awful game.

The final level, which was easily the best, was also the only one that didn’t feel like time itself started ticking slower. It rises to the level of “okay.” The problem is you have to play three of the most boring levels in video game history to experience it.

In the case of Operation C, I don’t think a kid would have much regrets with it. It looks like Contra. It plays like Contra. It has all the tropes of Contra. With Castlevania, I think I would question whether this series is for me or not. It seems like it would make any car trip or down time feel longer. It comes across like a bad knock-off of Castlevania. It doesn’t even have skeletons to fight. The enemies are dull. The lack of sub-weapons assures there’s nothing to break-up the tedium. The bosses are too easy, at least until Dracula shows up and hovers above instakill spikes. But the platforming is so heavy feeling. It’s like you have sandbags tied to you, and the whole game is based around how crappy that is to play. Amazingly, another trick they use is having platforms fall quickly underneath you, which is dirty pool given that the controls are unresponsive. Castlevania Adventure IS fine tuned, but not in a way you want from a game. They built terrible movement and jumping physics, then tailored the game around that instead of fixing the damn movement. And yea, sinister is the right word, because you wouldn’t know this from a screenshot. It looks like Castlevania. But it ain’t. It’s an official off-brand Castlevania, and one of the worst games I’ve ever played.
Operation C Verdict: YES!
The Castlevania Adventure Verdict: NO!

THE INDIE GAMER CHICK CASTLEVANIA REVIEW SERIES
 Castlevania (NES) Dracula’s Curse (NES) Adventure (GB) Belmont’s Revenge (GB)
Super Castlevania IV (SNES) Dracula X (SNES) Rondo of Blood (SuperCD²)
Chronicles (PSX) Circle of the Moon (GBA)  Kid Dracula (NES) Kid Dracula (GB)
ROM Hacks (NES) Konami Wai Wai World (NES) Wai Wai World 2: SOS!! Parsley Jō (NES)

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What I’m Playing Right Now #11

October 27, 2024 1 Comment

“What do you mean we didn’t get the G.I. Joe license for the NES?! We took the license, didn’t we? What do you mean it’s only for an arcade game? Well, who DID get it? Who the hell is Taxan? Wait, Capcom has it now? Are you telling me we missed out on a license we already develop for.. twice?! What license DID you get? Oh yea, sure Phil. I have a monster in MY pocket too, you pervert.” So, what AM I playing?

Contra Force (USA)-241027-110206

Oh my god.

The cynic in me thinks “Arc Hound” started life as a G.I. Joe game before it became a Contra game. And yep, now I get why Contra Force is shunned. Some of the most cheap-shot GOTCHA enemy placement combined with literally continuous slowdown. Pretty graphics mean NOTHING if the player’s NES is on the verge of a meltdown the entire time. This is a terrible game, and that REALLY pisses me off because there’s some excellent ideas here. Like this:

Strategic decisions by the player? Being able to swap between four different characters on the fly? Being able to set up your CONTRA FORCE as an actual squad that covers you and everything? That’s a great idea! I mean, the CPU clearly can’t handle this and the developers decided being total pricks with enemy placement was more important than fun, but hey, it’s not like this was some half-assed game. But, everything it does both right and wrong will be somewhere in the background, because I’ve never played a game with this much slowdown. Not even Kirby’s Adventure. If I was playing this on a real NES, it sort of feels like my console would be turning into a puddle at this point. Without exaggeration, the slowdown is continuous. Well, it should make for a fun review. For you. Not so much for me. That’s coming either tonight or tomorrow.

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That’s the full Taito Pinball line-up for AtGames Legends Pinball, whether it be a Micro, HD Legends, or 4K. We’re just getting started with the review process but we finished Arkanoid. That table would be an instant classic if not for the fact that the “bricks” (a 4×5 cluster of drop targets) reset after every death. Does it feel like an Arkanoid table? Not at all. But, it’s not bad either. We awarded it a CLEAN SCORECARD, and we’re just getting started. It’s also worth noting that Space Invaders DID get a table in 1980 that looks nothing like the video game but carries the license. It’s a widebody, and I think it sucks but it has some fans. From what I can gather, it’s one of the most polarizing tables ever made. Either way, that’s NOT the table that you get with Taito Pinball. They made a whole new one, and we’ll be reviewing it soon.

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What Am I Playing Right Now #10

October 26, 2024 Leave a comment

Hey everyone. I want to once again say THANK YOU for following me at Indie Gamer Chick. You’ve made this week awesome. Thanks for everyone sharing links to my latest reviews on social media. Closing any social media is tough because you’ve all been so good to me for over thirteen years now. It means THE WORLD to me that you stuck around anyway. And it’s worked out great for me because I’ve been a lot more productive here. I have some FUN projects I’m working on. Contra Force’s review will probably hit Monday, and then Contra III: The Alien Wars. I know that’s the one everyone wants. Sega fans, you’re not left out. I’m doing Hard Corps too. I will have some scary games for Halloween too. Well, Castlevania. I dunno how scary that is to you. I’m doing the family thing this weekend. It’s one of those pinball-centric weekends in the Vice Household. So, what AM I playing?

Pinball

That’s the AtGames Legends Pinball Micro. This last Christmas, myself, Angela, and Sasha each got one from Santa Claus. Or a fat man who dressed like Santa but looked suspiciously like my father. Weird. It’s long overdue we look at some of the exclusive tables that can only be found if you own one of the now army of Legends Pinball models. I suspect in the near future we’ll finally take the plunge on one of the 4K models. When they first launched, flipper lag was brutal, and frankly, you never know if that will get fixed or not. Well, a lot of people insist it’s been fixed. People I trust. AtGames has multiple models and I think it’s likely we’ll be picking one in the near future. You can only play Zen Studios’ output on 4K, so for god’s sake, please don’t buy the standard “HD” tables thinking Zen’s work will eventually find its way to them. It won’t. Ever. BUT, here’s some good news: Zaccaria Pinball is on there. Magic Pixel’s engine for Zaccaria Pinball is Oscar and Dave’s favorite pinball physics engine. Yes, it’s basically the same as the versions of Zaccaria for Nintendo Switch, Xbox, and Steam, only with a lot fewer options but a REAL pinball feel, with a table that you lean over. The lack of bells & whistles is slightly disheartening. As far as we can tell, you can’t do five ball games or change the rules. No special challenges either. It’s just one single build of each table. That’s FINE, by the way, because they’re optimized for the digital pins. Aerobatics shoots just like a real table, with the exception of a teeny tiny stutter at the start of the first ball of each game. I have no clue why it does that.

We keep our pinball ratings sheets live for everyone to view, even when it’s a work on progress. I’ve added a tab for this Legends Pinball Micro project, if you want to keep up with us, or if you want to see our ratings for other platforms like Zaccaria. We know that many of my readers are casual pinball fans who still would like some form of pinball in their family rooms/man caves. Sasha and myself are working to get short-form reviews of all 50 tables that are built in to every Micro PLUS the AtGames exclusive tables with themes like Dr. Seuss, Natural History, and Taito.

Because Zaccaria’s pins, along with 21 tables created by Farsight Studios’ for their Pinball Arcade (which are the built-in tables for the full-sized Legends HD Pinball) are nearly identical to the tables from the Console/PC versions, we’re using the existing ratings for Pinball Chick team members Jordi and Dave (aka Dave Sanders, creator of Alien and Full Throttle for Heighway) for this project, BUT, they don’t own an AtGames device. They’re in Europe, so I’m not even sure if it’s an option where they live. The Vice Familiy ratings will ONLY be from AtGames devices, and we’ve started the review process. We hope to have it done very soon, for those who actually considering it for the holiday season. The Legends Pinball Micro retails for about $500 shipped, and it goes on sale all the time. It’s only $400 right now on Amazon. Here’s a sneak peak of the review, the first alphabetically. The picture is from Zaccaria Pinball but it’s literally the same table.

Aerobatics
Type: EM
Set: Zaccaria Pinball Pack 1
FREE WITH EVERY LEGENDS PINBALL MICRO
Based on “Aerobatics” by Zaccaria (1977)
Vice Versus Winner: Sasha (9,065,700 – “KID”)

We LOVE Aerobatics in the Vice Household. Don’t think of this as a typical EM. It’s more like a high-concept early Solid State. This has some very unusual game flow, with two spinners that feed a saucer, which in turn lights targets on the playfield or advances the bonus. The inlanes are semi-open and a ball is capable of rolling up them and out of play. To make up for this, both outlanes are easily lit, and if the ball falls down a lit outlane, you get an extra ball. Not only that, but every outlane has a puncher’s chance of bouncing back into play, something you can affect directly with a well-timed nudge. Aerobatics can get repetitive, no doubt. Our duels usually devolve into who can get the most extra balls, but it’s every bit as exciting as it is strange. This is the only Zaccaria I’ve given MASTERPIECE status to for a reason. In my opinion, this was their finest hour and one of the most underrated pins ever.
Cathy: MASTERPIECE (5 out of 5)
Angela: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Oscar: GREAT
Sasha: GREAT
Jordi: GOOD* (3 out of 5)
Dave: MASTERPIECE*
Scoring Average: 4.16 – CERTIFIED EXCELLENT
*Played on Zaccaria Pinball for Consoles/PC

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What Am I Playing Right Now #09

October 25, 2024 Leave a comment

I’m not out of the 8-bit Contra woods yet. In fact, I have two Game Boy games (one of which is Super Game Boy enabled) and the Contra that isn’t a Contra in Contra Force left. I can’t believe the Sega Master System didn’t get its own Contra, or even a port of the NES/arcade ones. So, that puts me three games away from Contra III on the Super NES. Actually, two games away. Yes, I’ll do it before the Game Boy port. No, I’m not doing the Game Boy Advance version. In fact, it’s unlikely I’ll ever review many Game Boy Advance versions of SNES games here at IGC. It just doesn’t interest me as much, with one obvious exception: the Super Mario Advance series. If I ever review the NES Mario games, I’m far more likely to do the GBA versions. Besides, I have a lot of other older games to play. Like Konami’s Metamorphic Force, which just released to Arcade Archives. I think it’s the first ever release of this game. I might do that.

That’s Haunted Halloween from my friends at Retrotainment games. They offered me a demo of this, but I have a strict “no demo” policy and so I’ll wait for the finished game. For your consideration, here’s their (already funded) Kickstarter campaign. If you want the NES cart and not just the ROM, that’s where you get it. I don’t want to know very much about the game. I didn’t even watch the trailer above. I’m going to review this when it comes out, and I want to be ice cold for it. But, they’re good folk. So, what AM I playing?

WXTA0683

Nope.

I have a busy IGC/TPC weekend. Contra Force is next. We’re delaying Camp Bloodbrook coverage, at least for Pinball FX. It’s not ready. I assume the mode start isn’t meant to drop balls between the flippers to the degree it does. This is not “challenge.” This is just awful design, BUT, it doesn’t happen on “normal physics” so we assume this isn’t meant to happen. The problem is, we don’t happen to like the normal physics either. Our options are (A) review now and give it straight scores of THE PITS because none of us can have fun with a table where the mode start might qualify as the worst pinball shot of the year or (B) assume the table is broken but it will be fixed. We’re going with option B for now. In attempting to duel on “realistic” physics we had a Vice Family first: everyone tilted at least once. This weekend, we’re going to play on Pinball M and might have to split the review, assuming it works on M. Also, Princess Bride was patched extensively, including fixing some houseball issues. So we’ll be playing that.

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And, we’re going to look at some of the tables exclusive to AtGames Legends and Legends4K tables. Now, almost all Zen tables will eventually be on the digital pinball machines built and sold by AtGames (UPDATE: I meant ONLY the 4K tables. Zen’s tables will NEVER be on the standard Legends Pinball or the Legends Pinball Micro), but the magicians behind Zaccaria Pinball have AtGames exclusive tables, including ones based on Taito games. The Taito pins are mostly tables inspired by classic 70s and 80s pins. For example, the table based on Elevator Action above is actually a reworking of the 1984 Gottlieb (Mylstar) classic Alien Star. Sasha, heir apparent to IGC, wants to work on these with me. Let’s do it! And hey.. wait.. if Zen is working with AtGames and Magic Pixel are working with AtGames.. does this mean older Williams/Bally pins could possibly hit? Throw us a bone, gang! Surely the two companies can come to some kind of arrangement.

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Super C (NES Review)

October 25, 2024 10 Comments

Super CSuper C
aka Probotector II: Return of the Evil Forces
Platform: Nintendo Entertainment System
Released February 2, 1990
Developed by Konami
Included in Contra Anniversary Collection

Like most of Super C for the NES, this isn’t from the coin-op. And thank God for it.

And you thought Contra on the NES was a major leap over the arcade game. That’s NOTHING compared to the gigantic leap Super C made. A leap so high that the letters O-N-T-R-A didn’t make it! At least in the United States, and can you blame them? They had to jump over an ocean to get here. An ocean! Not “Ocean” though as in the game publisher that’s like “why does everyone hate LJN? Did you like any game made by us?” But, I digress. The bad news with Super C is that the top-down stuff from the arcade is here too. The good news is the top-down stuff plays better on the NES. It’s not amazing, and it still makes Contra as a franchise feel like an also-ran. Even mixing it with the side-scrolling genre doesn’t make it stand out in what is an exceptionally crowded field. It really doesn’t help that, for a brief window, Super C has ghastly visibility issues. I tried using a CRT filter, which works on some NES games with noisy backgrounds. It didn’t help with Super C at all. Hey, I love the effort to make an otherwise average game design stand out as a viable set piece. But, I prize being able to see what’s going on more than I do the facade of a new area. But, as much as I miss the third person bases, the two top-down levels don’t suck. Besides visibility issues, they ain’t too bad at all. They work better with the bigger playfield of the NES.

Can you see that I’m about to die?

The other good news is that Super C is so fun that, if not for those top-down levels, I think we’d be talking about whether or not it’s better than the original. It’s insane that they took a mediocre coin-op and turned it into THIS, because Super C is fantastic! They added several levels and set-pieces, and almost all of the additional content is of the side-scrolling variety. In other words, they added more of the stuff that would make people want a sequel to Contra in the first place! Everything wrong with the coin-op’s concept is fixed here, and everything that didn’t work there works here. Things I didn’t expect. For example, everything wrong with the jungle stage in arcades had nothing at all to do with the logical flaw of dumping the third-person areas. It was just a lazily designed stage that relies on foreground objects blocking your view for challenge, then dumps straight into what is the 7th boss in the NES game.

The section with earthquakes manages to be both fair and thrilling without any “gotchas.” This is such an impressive sequel.

In Super C, the jungle level is fine. While it still lacks platforms for the actual jungle part of the jungle level, the pacing of when and where enemies are utilized is smarter. No foreground to block your view, either. Then, they added a memorable mini-boss and a better finale. Instead of a jarring hard cut to the alien base, you run through the earthquake section pictured above. With it comes the first truly tricky platforming section in home Contra history. It’s almost like Konami had the same observations I had: why even have a platform game without edge-of-your-seat jumps? The historically awesome, effective jumping physics are copied exactly from the original NES game, so why not be equal parts platforming AND bullet dodging? The first NES Contra did that, and last I checked, it was pretty sweet. The coin-op doesn’t have a viable jump at all. You can’t even clear a gun with your jump. If a gun you don’t want lands in front of you, you have to wait for it to vanish. If it is possible to jump over it, I never accomplished it.

Super C leans hard into the platforming side of the game multiple times, something I really don’t think the original ever did. In this segment, the ceiling raises and lowers. It’s genuinely thrilling, and there’s multiple jumps that saw me holding my breath. What a wonderful game!

In retrospect, that might be the one thing missing from the original NES Contra. There, the platforming isn’t amazing. There’s hardly any thrilling jumps. I can’t and won’t hold it against that game, because platforming isn’t the point. It’s a means to an end for Contra’s defensive game. Even when it feels like a traditional platformer in stages like the Hanger or Energy Zone, it’s actually more timing-based than accuracy-based. That’s certainly not the case with the sequel, which elegantly steers into a platforming focus on multiple occasions. In the arcade, levels felt like straight 2D lines with only the illusion of platforming. On the NES, Super C is a run & gun with a heavy emphasis on platforming, and it’s remarkable how transformative that is. On the NES, the jungle might still be the weakest side-scrolling stage between the two real Contra games (Contra Force is coming up NEXT at IGC, even if it’s not next sequentially), and it still rises to the level of better-than-decent. It proves within the first third of the game that NES Super C is no half-assed effort. There’s new mini-bosses. There’s new full-sized bosses. They kept all the weapons from before except the flamethrower. Oh, there’s still a flamethrower, but it’s different this time. I don’t feel like a complete tool using it, because now, it looks like this:

It doesn’t look great in screenshots, but it’s awesome. Instead of bullets doing ridiculous corkscrews, the flamethrower now shoots the biggest bullets in Contra, which explode with splash damage upon impact. This was in the coin-op too, but it was made to look like a grenade launcher. I like shooting fireballs better!

Super C uses the same engine as the first game, and much like the first game, it’s not a lives code that trivializes the difficulty. Autofire and the spread gun will do it. Hell, even the flamethrower is now overpowered with autofire. So, I decided to use the same test I created for Contra: beat the game, without autofire, the lives code, or emulation-based shenanigans. First, I cheesed the game a few times with autofire (including a co-op game). The third game, I had a no-death, no-cheating run. I’ve played Super C significantly less than Contra, so that gives you an idea of just how much autofire and the spreader annihilates the challenge of the NES Contra games. It’s not like I’m a professional gamer over here, but with autofire, both Contra and Super C are some of the breeziest side-scrolling run & guns I’ve played. Hell, I think I would have run the table the first time around, but I messed-up several jumps along the way. Jumps I, if not clocked, learned to pace-myself and wait for during co-op. The real challenge came when I disabled autofire entirely and fired up the Japanese ROM. I made it to the second boss before I died, and I genuinely believe if I had never swapped the spread gun for the laser (which, in two previous solo sessions, I’d barely seen and hadn’t used), I would have gone a lot further without dying.

Death #1. Oh, and this time the electrodes and laser kill you.

Like with Contra, playing Super C straight-up, on its terms, mostly made me focus on the item drops. This time, I learned how unevenly-distributed the guns are. It became pretty clean early into the game that Super C sometimes becomes more stingy with the weapons. It really started after the second level. At the start of the third stage, the first two items it gave me were rapid fire and a screen-clearing bomb. It was quite a distance from the start of the level that I got my first REAL gun, the machine gun. During a one-off set-piece where a cannon fires a series of bombs, I ate death #2 right before I collected the laser. Thankfully it was waiting for me when I came back to life. Death #3 came against the six-legged robot, at which point I learned that I could have stood on top of it, because I landed on it when I respawned. Except, you can’t shoot down at it. The target is underneath it. Death #4. Same f’n mini-boss. I was THIS close to a game over here, but it blew up at the last second. I got a free life too.

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I didn’t get my beloved spread gun back until I reached the earthquake section, but I ate death #5 on the base boss, followed by death #6. Game. Over.

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Rather than start over, I was curious if I could make it to the end with just the continues it gives me. Nobody expects gaming super heroics from me. Again, I’m certain that I’m capable of brute-forcing most games through repetition to the point that I could ace most games. There’s some that I feel are out of my reach. Like, there’s no way in hell I could do a no-death run through something like Battletoads. But, I think most people, if they chained themselves to one game and one game only, could drill a full ace into muscle memory. That’s not the barometer. Perfection isn’t. The question is “could an average gamer, with a normal non-autofire controller and no access to the 10 lives cheat beat Super C in 1990?” Yep. It’s not that hard. Like Contra or Castlevania, Super C’s difficulty is vastly overstated. And hey, I made it through the entire third level without dying. Not only that but I literally let out a cheer three times in this level alone: for the cannon, the six-legged robot, and the base. I made it to where the vertical section of level four starts before I STUPIDLY threw away a life by starting to climb before the bombs fell. Idiot. And then soon after, I gave up another death. Another change from Contra is there’s a lot more stuff to dodge, and the turrets take more hits to kill.

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The stinginess with the items was still in full force as I reached the elevator. When it finally spit out guns, it was only the machine gun and the rapid fire. Little redundant there, but hey, that’s literally how the first Contra starts. I died again and fell to my last life without any guns and without even seeing the 4th boss. Thankfully I shot the right canister to get the spread gun. I just needed to hold on for dear life, but I assumed that, even if I get an extra life, I wasn’t going to make it much further. I was wrong, and Super C totally confirmed to me that the spread gun is the most overpowered gun in the game. I did manage to beat the 4th boss, but no extra life yet. I was only 1,000 points short, and got it right after I started the next stage. In fact, I ran through level 5 without a single death. Spread gun kept. Scored another extra life from the boss. I made it through stage 6 without dying too, and was near the end of stage 7, and then it happened.

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I had defeated the egg thing, but it spits the aliens out in unpredictable trajectories, and it caught me. I had one floor left of these things, and the next one ate up every single life I had except one. I did end up getting another extra life, giving me two to fight the 7th boss without any special gun. I did manage to ping it to death, but I lost a life in the process too.

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Final level, no lives, no guns, but still on my 2nd continue and..

Yep, that’ll do.

I did it! One continue, no codes, and no cheating of any kind. And honestly, if I went again, I think I could probably make it without a game over at all. Swapping the spread for the laser in level two stupid, especially since this Contra is quite miserly with the guns at times. The next spread gun wasn’t spawned until right before the third boss. Hell, I’m pretty sure the first laser isn’t spawned until the second level. And yet, sometimes the game spits out weapon chances right after you just had one. The pacing is all over the place. Is that why Super C isn’t remembered as fondly as Contra? It can’t be because it’s a sequel. This is video games. Sequels being better is the norm.

My final death, and I was sh*tting myself because it happened early in the fight. But, I discovered that you can lean-up against the front leg of the final boss and aim diagonally for a direct line to the alien crab sponge monster’s weak point. It’s not a cinch after that. The millipede it spits out is invincible so you have to get a feel for its timing. Decent final boss. Sure beats ending the game on a top-down section, like the coin-op did.

Or, what if it’s something dumber? I’m absolutely open to the possibility that the lack of the Konami code is the reason. It’s not an accident that it’s gaming’s most famous cheat code. It’s harmonious. Rolls right off the tongue. But, it’s long enough that it has a secret handshake vibe to it. If you know the code, you’re in the club. The “I take video games at least seriously enough to know how to get 30 lives in Contra without looking it up” club. But, I’ve already talked about that excuse. Think EVEN DUMBER.

Too dumb. Little less.

What if Super C didn’t do as well because it was called “Super C” instead of “Super Contra?” I sure hope that’s not the reason, but you can’t rule it out. I’d like to take it for granted that kids of the 80s/90s knew a sequel when they saw it. Maybe they did. But maybe their parents didn’t. Mom & Dad might know that Junior loves a game called “Contra” but, when browsing games, it might not be self-evident that Super C is Contra. I’m guessing Contra had a lot of casual buys from parents for their kids. Great cover art. Trendy. Looks like the movies Junior likes. Super C has okay cover art, but nowhere near as eye-catching or memorable as the first game. The letter C is the same. That’s it. It’s not exactly McDonald’s-like memorable, especially back then.

Even if you assume the cover is close enough to the original (not even close), that doesn’t mean people not in the know will instantly connect the two. As dumb an excuse as that is, it had to factor in a little bit. It’s called “Super C.” Same engine. Same guns. Same alien invasion. Same platform. But, not the same name. And they did it because the word “contra” was topically hot for non-gaming reasons at the time. Guys, we can’t call it “Contra” because one or two newspapers compared our game to the Iran-Contra Affair! Branding? To hell with branding! Think of the frowny faces! They’ll wag their fingers SO HARD at us!

This boss (no longer the final boss like it was in the arcade game) would later sign a two-game contract with Nintendo, and appear in the game StarTropics as the character “Zoda.” It even got top-billing in the sequel! Then, like so many other 90s bosses, it faded into obscurity. Today, you can meet it at Comic-Con, and for $10 extra get its autograph.

As far as games that slipped through the cracks of history, Super C might be the most inexplicable. It really does feel like a grander version of Contra. On the NES, the bosses are bigger, the challenge is harder, the flamethrower is better, the laser is.. well, actually it’s worse. But the spread gun is god-tier now, and the level design assures that Super C is literally non-stop fun. This is what you want in a sequel. I might not be a huge fan of the top-down levels, but compared to some NES top-down shooters, they’re clearly in an elite class for the platform. I can’t say it’s better than Contra because the pacing and platforms aren’t absolutely flawless this go around. But, it’s not that far behind the original. So, what do *I* think happened? Three words and one number: Super Mario Bros. 3. I think that Contra transcends tastes and genres TODAY, in 2024. I’m guessing it didn’t at the time. But, do you know what franchise absolutely did? Mario. And, in 1990, Super Mario Bros. 3 was the first new release EVENT of the modern gaming era (IE after Atari). A game that was such a moment in the industry’s history that, for the US release, an entire movie was part of the hype. When did Mario 3 come out in the United States? February of 1990. When did Super C come out here? April of 1990. Ouch.

The new set-pieces all work really well too. This feels a LOT more like an alien invasion than the first game.

It’s never just one thing, of course. I’ve come up with four valid reasons that, on their own, would be heartbreaking in their pettiness as reasons why the NES Super C has little-to-no historic clout. Top-down replacing 3rd person? Dumb. No Konami code? Not sure why they did that. Changing the name? Needlessly risky. Launching against what had been the biggest video game in history up to that point? Oof. Yet, none of them account for the complete lack of prestige Super C has to it. Add them all up though, and it’s a perfect storm of bad timing and bad decisions. In reality, Super C isn’t just a good sequel, but it’s a GREAT video game, all on its own. If this had been the first game in the series, I honestly think there’s a chance the conversation around Contra would be mostly unchanged, and the only difference is we’d be talking about Super C and not Contra as a legitimate contender for the Greatest of All-Time. There’s no insurmountable stakes. The action is non-stop, intense, but SO enjoyable. It’s epic, and beautiful, and one of the best co-op releases to grace 8-bits. What more could you ask for? Contra might be the dark horse of the GOAT conversation, but Super C is the clear favorite in the conversation “what is the most underrated NES game?” Hot damn, this franchise is awesome AND interesting, and I love it.
Verdict: YES!
With this YES!, I feel comfortable saying Contra Anniversary Collection is worth $19.99. Hell, it’s worth it for the two NES games alone. That means the 16-bit games are a spectacular end-zone dance.

PART OF THE CONTRA REVIEW SERIES!
IGC Review of Contra the Arcade Game
IGC Review of Contra on the NES
IGC Review of Contra on MSX
IGC Review of Super Contra (Arcade)

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What I’m Playing Right Now #08

October 24, 2024 Leave a comment

Super C for the NES might be delayed until tomorrow. That’s because we’re starting work on Camp Bloodbrook right now. The first of two installments of Vice Versus related to Camp Bloodbrook will hit today or tomorrow at The Pinball Chick. In my household, dueling is one of the biggest attractions to pinball for us. We’re not just playing pinball, but trying to defeat each-other. Angela especially puts a LOT of stock in pinball as a competitive sport. “It’s not just about how a table shoots, but how fun it is to watch people besides myself shoot the table.” So, we’re spinning off that discussion into its own feature at the Pinball Chick. So, what AM I playing?

First impressions on Camp Bloodbrook: Yep, it’s a Dolby pin. Lots of amazing shots, but no consideration for how demoralizing houseballs are. I’m going to guess what happens in the above clip was unintentional. I’m also going to guess that Zen Studios is over the “normal physics.” Much like Xena: Warrior Princess, Camp Bloodbrook’s “normal physics” games are atrocious, but I really think this is a whole new level of atrocious. The bounces are so weird and random. The speed is. The gravity itself is. The ball is so floaty and its reaction to solid surfaces is so unnatural. So, how about this, Zen Studios: instead of this ridiculous two physics system you have, how about dump one and focus all efforts on the other? Because having to develop tables for two completely different forms of physics, IE reality itself is unreasonable. It feels like tables are always compromised by one physics or the other.

HJBT1171

Can’t get enough of that Sugar Crisp.

“Normal” physics have no value anymore except sucking resources that could be spent optimizing one version of the table. You can’t even say normal physics acts as a trainer for novice players. What is it training, exactly? Because the physics are so different that the angles themselves change based on the physics. Muscle memory that works on one set of physics doesn’t on the other. Normal physics seems completely detached from reality, and it’s certainly not the easy mode. Not when “normal physics” has completely baseless rejections on ramps to the degree it does. Realistic physics, depending on the table, are killing it. Maybe your designers will be able to bring out tables faster, with less need for patchwork, if there’s only one universal set of physics. Maybe it’ll also eliminate the expectation that new tables won’t fully work as intended until patches arrive well after the fact. With that note, Princess Bride was patched today as well, so our final ratings for that should be hitting soon as well.

UPDATE: Only the “realistic physics” have the straight down the drain problem with the locker seen above. We’re likely to vote that Camp Bloodbrook is OUT OF ORDER until this is fixed. On the other hand, I became the Xbox World Champion of Classic – Normal Physics. #2 all time at the time, but it’s already fallen to #3. Still champion of Xbox though.

PJJS6330

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What I’m Playing Right Now #07

October 24, 2024 Leave a comment

This part lasts about two seconds. UP OR DOWN? OMG! I can’t deci.. it’s over. Back to running in a straight line.

It wasn’t until after I hit publish on the review of the Super Contra coin-op that I stopped and thought “did platforming even matter?” In the side-scrolling stages, you’re mostly running along the ground. Sure, you might go up a hill or two, and later in the game the path zig zags a little. But, you’re mostly just jogging. Since the jumping is ineffective towards dodging most bullets (nowhere near as effective as ducking), Super Contra feels like a game of just brute force and nothing more.

So, what AM I playing?

The Super C NES review hits later today. Let’s face it: the coin-op side of the Contra equation was never going to be the highlights of the marathon. The best thing I can say about both is that I’m happy with how the reviews turned out, and I’m happy I never have to play either ever again. Well, assuming Konami doesn’t get it together and realize they’re in a position to do a prestige collection of their classic games. Which, in fairness, Contra Anniversary Collection sort of was. It offered US, European, and Japanese ROMs and a “bonus book” that really isn’t that interesting. There’s also two games I’d consider to be “missing.” Did the MSX game belong in the set? Yes. Does the set hurt for its absence? Not really. Contra NES alone is worth the $20 asking price, in my opinion. It’s not just any game. It’s one of the greatest games ever made, and I suspect you’ll get enjoyment out of other games in the set. Hell, I’ve still got the 16-bit Contra games left, and the Game Boy games, the second of which (1) was made by Factor 5 (2) uses the Super Game Boy and (3) also isn’t in Contra Anniversary Collection. That’s the other missing game, and it makes even less logical sense to skip it. Game Boy was a global platform, unlike the MSX. It’s critically acclaimed, too. Some decisions I will never understand.

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Super Contra (Arcade Review)

October 23, 2024 10 Comments

Super Contra
Platform: Arcade
Released January 28, 1988
Directed by Hideyuki Tsujimoto
Developed by Konami
Included in Contra Anniversary Collection
Sold Separately via Arcade Archives

Well, it looks the part. But, it doesn’t do a good job of playing the part. At least on a full-time basis.

I get it now. I get why Super Contra didn’t reach the legendary status the original did, and I get it before I even reach the NES game. It’s not the Konami code. It really is the top-down sections. In what has to be one of the most historically bad decisions in game design history, Contra’s sequel, released just under a  year after the original, dropped the third person base segments and replaced them with generic top-down sections. What a stupid move. War-themed action games were smoking hot in gaming at the time, but there were a LOT of top-down shooting games that feel exactly the same as Super Contra’s top-down levels, surrendering the original game’s uniqueness.

Real subtle, guys.

I assume that’s why they used third person areas instead of top-down in the first place. How do you stand out in a crowded field in 1987? Mix genres. Side scrollers are popular, and top-down shooters are. Why not do both? Great idea, but top-down is too commonplace, from Front Line to Commando to Ikari Warriors. Hell, Ikari Warriors’ sequel, Victory Road, came out in 1986. You don’t want people to think you’re playing follow the leader with SNK or Capcom, do you? So instead, you mix a side-scroller with unique third-person levels that shift the focus from run & gun platforming to intense bullet-dodging in a tight space, but in a way that retains the acrobatic movement and jumping from the side-scrolling levels. Neat. Novel. Original. Tantalizing. And ALL YOURS. Now you’re the one doing the innovating! Anyone that follows is eating your dust, not the other way around. So, why move away from that? I honestly don’t know. Maybe they got bad focus testing or early reviews specifically on the third-person stages. I hope that’s not it. If you’re a game critic or participated in a focus group and sh*t on the base levels in Contra, thanks so much for ruining the sequel. You’re a bad person, and you’re going to gaming hell, where you will be forced to play Super Contra. I kid, because it’s Konami’s fault. What a truly stupid decision.

Okay, this IS kind of funny. See the two probes with the electricity running between them? They don’t kill you, or damage you, or anything. They do nothing. You stand right over them. Not even the energy hurts you. Cutting Room Floor, aka my favorite gaming site in the whole wide world, generously describes this as an “oversight.” Yes. Yes, “oversight.” I don’t think they just forgot to program that as a lethal element. It feels like an adjustment made by play testers, because I genuinely think if they hadn’t done this, Super Contra’s reputation would have gone from “meh” to outright scathing on account of extreme difficulty. There’s just not enough room to fight it without those being nerfed. Once again, the coin-op feels like it fails to make the best use of the vertical screen.

And it’s not like the top-down sections of Super Contra stand out in any way. They’re short, unmemorable, and generic. When Super Contra drifts aimlessly away from its bread & butter, hell, it could be ANY top-down game. The level design is so basic that, all by itself, it turns Contra as a franchise from coattail wearer to coattail rider. Like the previous game has to catch up to sh*t like Ikari Warriors. I’m not slamming Ikari Warriors. I’m saying Konami had a good thing going and threw the brakes on for no good reason. Those top-down levels feel like you’re running through hollow boxes and only occasionally have to change directions, but otherwise, they make for boring set-pieces. It doesn’t matter if you’re fighting aliens. They don’t feel alien. It’s especially jarring because the side-scrolling levels do a good job of that even when things like a normal helicopter shows up that you have to blow up. At only five levels, the game is pitifully small, but only three of those levels offer the type of action that feels like the sequel you want Super Contra to be. The word “super” was overused in gaming, probably thanks in large part to Super Mario Bros. In the case of Super Contra, it does such a bad job of feeling like an evolution of the Contra concept that calling it “super” feels like a lie. It also doesn’t help that this is also the owner of the first bad level in Contra. Or, more accurately, the first bad side-scrolling level. This level:

You can’t see it, but that guy is shooting me.

Hey, let’s make visibility a major challenge factor! Trees in the foreground that block your view. What a desperate move for a game that feels like, after a solid first level, it just lost faith in the formula. The first level is rock-solid. The fourth level is rock-solid. Levels 2, 3, and 5 stink. Super Contra is just fundamentally not fun 60% of the time. It’s not even the case of the NES version out-classing it (though that’s absolutely the case yet again). On its own, the set-pieces are much less memorable. The bosses are. The level design feels uninspired and arbitrary. I literally can’t believe Electronic Gaming Monthly named this the 9th greatest arcade game of all time. Apparently they did in 1997. So.. what you’re telling me is they only played 9 arcade games, right? Was the first Contra one of them? Because I’d rather play that. Nothing blocks me from seeing bullets in that game, and there’s no dull, far-too-basic top-down sections in that one. Was it a typo? Did they mean Contra? Because this is a cookie cutter action game that briefly becomes a Contra sequel. But it doesn’t last. EDIT: Come to think of it, it doesn’t have as much jumping as the first game did. Even the side-scrolling stages usually only offer one path and no options or flexibility.

Okay, FINE, the last boss is pretty damn cool looking. But, the giant heart was unforgettable. I’m not sure I’ll remember this next week. I’ve beaten this before.. sober.. and for the life of me I couldn’t remember what the hell the last boss was. Also, the game ends on the lame-ass top down sections. So deflating.

Easily the most fascinating aspect of the arcade version of Super Contra is that, completely unprompted, it feels like a game that’s grasping at straws. As if it’s some kind of knock-off game instead of the sequel to a bonafide milestone in gaming. I’ve never seen anything like this, but actually, it totally makes perfect sense. They didn’t wait long enough to make a sequel, and since this came out a month before the NES/Famicom Contra released, they had no way of knowing what Contra was about to become. Hell, they didn’t even know that after it came out. Contra on the NES did good, but it wasn’t even one of the seventy-five NES/Famicom games verified to have sold a million units. That’s something even I didn’t realize when I wrote the previous reviews: at the time, Contra was something of a cult hit, not a hit-hit. I assumed it was a massive hit, but Konami alone had at least six NES/Famicom games outsell it. At least, and likely even a couple more. Contra was a sleeper that, in the decades since, woke up as a giant. But that took time. And that’s why Super Contra turned out so bland. Konami didn’t have enough time to observe the type of reaction and feedback Contra, as a coin-op or a home game, would have. You need that to make a GREAT sequel. All sequels are fan service, after all.

It’s a f’n vertical screen, and they still screwed up everything. Look at this! THE SCORE COVERS THE BOSS! Did you guys even care? This isn’t a nit-picky thing. It’s immersion you’re messing up. In an action game, if you don’t have immersion, you don’t have sh*t!

It’s taken three decades and a lot of historical reevaluations for NES Contra to reach the phase it’s at, where it’s mostly agreed upon that it’s one of the greatest video games of all-time. As recently as Contra Anniversary Collection five years ago, which is when I REALLY got into the original games, I didn’t realize what it accomplished. I just thought it was a really fun game. Safe bet Konami had no idea what they had either. It happens in gaming more than you would think. Namco didn’t realize what made Pac-Man work. Super Pac-Man and Pac & Pal proved that. Super Contra proves Konami didn’t have a clue either. Unlike the original, this can’t even fall back on “it’s only bad in comparison to the superior NES game.” I don’t think it’s actually a well-made game in general. This feels even more cramped than the first coin-op Contra. And, just like the first coin-op, that squeeze doesn’t come with a sense of tension. The jumping is not as good as before. You can’t even jump over a gun you don’t want, and there’s no jumping in the top-down sections. That button is used for the one screen-clearing bomb they give you per stage. Bosses and “event” enemies are spongy now, too, a genuine first for the franchise since the MSX game technically came after this. The only legit positive is the machine gun now fires rockets as bullets. Hey, that’s cool, but this is just not as fun as its own game or as a sequel. Super Contra is mostly boring, and that’s where it’s stuck, forever. At least we’ll always have the NES version.
Verdict: NO!

SoCalledSuperPART OF THE CONTRA REVIEW SERIES!
IGC Review of Contra (Arcade)
IGC Review of Contra (NES)
IGC Review of Contra (MSX)
IGC Review of Super C (NES)

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What’s I’m Playing Right Now #06

October 23, 2024 1 Comment

I think my first post-Twitter week is going swimmingly. I’m pretty happy with the Contra reviews. They’re tougher to write-up than you’d think. Legendary games, bad or good, are tricky reviews. You don’t want to state the obvious too much. I assume people read me because they want to hear someone else’s perspective on games, and that’s why I try to at least look for little things that stand out that my readers might not have thought about. Like with Contra on the NES, the gap between weapons pick-ups might be the game’s secret sauce. Everyone loves the variety of guns. That’s the self-evident part. Nobody needs to hear that from me. My job is to figure out “why is it that way?” And after playing through it, I came to the conclusion that if the game wasn’t generous with them, I don’t think people would talk about Contra today. I think it’s the amount of opportunities for upgrades that made the game what it is. For all its flaws, even the coin-op is generous with guns, a semi-rarity in arcades.

Smash TV has some of the weirdest item drop pacing in gaming. Actually, change that. Smash TV is more stingy with its usage and not the drop rate itself. Speaking of which, I’m holding out on doing a Midway Arcade Treasures review. I really did think we’d have a release for current platforms by now. I was almost certain it was going to happen, and it hasn’t yet. The only one currently for sale is a previous-gen version called Midway Arcade Origins, which I found to have mediocre emulation and options. I’m really crossing my fingers for Atari and Digital Eclipse to secure the rights for a Midway version of the Gold Master Series. Digital Eclipse has worked on these licenses in the past and presumably has the contacts to do it again on the grandest scale of all. I think it’ll happen in 2025. I hope so. It would be one of the greatest collections of games in history.

This is something indie developers making action games should consider. In almost any arcade-like action game, the first level and/or the first life will always have upgrades early. That’s the hook of the game, not all that different from how slot machines are rigged to make players think they came close to winning. Even bad games tend to drop good power-ups early. But, once the player is hooked, a lot of games scale back the opportunities for those upgrades. Some do it far too much. Darius II had this problem (read Taito Milestones II: The Definitive Review for my full review on Darius II). And Darius II is a very good game. It’s also one of the rare novelty coin-ops that withstands the test of time (if you consider ultra-widescreen to be a novelty, which it certainly was in 1989). But Darius II was so stingy with power-ups that it’s practically miserly. That’s literally the only thing that held it back from all-timer status. Why are games like Gradius or Life Force/Salamander all-time classics but Darius is on the fringe as a very good and very popular B-lister? Item drops. I really think that’s all. Action movies don’t front-load all the action scenes at the start of the film, then do all the boring parts for the rest of the run time. When making your games, bring the goods early, and keep bringing ’em. Fun matters more than challenge, and if you need to be Scrooge-like with your items, you’re doing challenge wrong anyway.

So, what AM I playing?

Super Contra is coming later today or early Thursday, and the NES version will follow soon after. I have no clue why Super Contra’s reputation is buried to the degree it is. Actually, I do. No UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A START for it. What if they had done that? Would Super C on the NES have been as big, or bigger, than Contra? Do you think anyone at Konami stares at the ceiling at night thinking “we could have been Call of Duty big if we hadn’t taken that code away?” Hell, it has a lives code. Just not THAT lives code. The famous one. The one that rolls off the tip of your tongue, and I think it hurt Super C. You can’t rule it out, because nobody really thinks Super Contra/Super C suck. If replacing the memorable third person stuff with top-down stuff isn’t the reason it slipped into oblivion, maybe it’s because gaming’s most famous code isn’t there. What a horrible thought.

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Xena: Warrior Princess (Pinball FX Table Review)

October 23, 2024 2 Comments

Xena: Warrior Princess
First Released May 16, 2024
Main Platform: Pinball FX
Switch Platform: Pinball FX
Designed by Anna Lengyel
Set: Universal TV Classics ($14.99)

Special Consideration – Half-Broken Physics Options: Xena has a problem specifically limited to the “normal physics” setting in both the main modes (Classic & Arcade) and all four challenge modes. The left ramp (the third shot from the left, with the wooden bridge) has something horribly wrong with it. It’s one of the most reject-heavy ramps in Pinball FX and there’s no rhyme or reason when it will work, but it absolutely won’t work from a trapped ball shot dead solid perfect at full speed at it. The ball stops before getting to the top of the shot and is flung back down. The most basic, tried-and-true shot you can make in pinball, even if the shot literally can’t be more accurate, still doesn’t work. This is NOT affecting our overall rating of Xena, which we’re awarding our Certificate of Excellence to, but please note our review applies ONLY to “realistic physics” at this time. We consider “normal physics” played in any mode on Xena to be OUT OF ORDER. This should be an easy to spot and easy to fix patch for Zen Studios. But please be careful not to damage anything while fixing it, Zen, because right now this thing plays so good. Might want to give a longer grace period on the kickbacks, though. And tone them back too. And give Anna a high five, because she earned it with this one.

What a turnaround Xena made. Upon release, it was basically unplayable. Thanks to patchwork, the maddening difficulty was toned way the hell down, and the end result is Xena is now unquestionably one of 2024’s best pins. Let’s get the problematic aspects out of the way first. The kickbacks aren’t well done because of Zen’s continued insistence that they be violent, unpredictable trash fires. Go through all the trouble of lighting both kickbacks only to have the ball go down an outlane, be launched out and go down the OTHER outlane, be kicked back out and straight down the opposite outlane. Instances of both kickbacks being lost from a single triggering is high enough that it feels deliberate. The mini-table is, like so many Zen mini-tables, circular in shape and boring. It’s like they have a cookie-cutter template for these things, because they feel so samey and usually have similar objectives regardless of the theme of the pin.

Signature Mode – Caesar Roman Assault: Holy crap! Look at all those cardboard targets! There’s no way this has any sense of grace to it, right? WRONG! The placement is as perfect as a spam-it-all target gets. Ironically, even though you’re shooting enough people to count as a “crowd” there’s absolutely no crowding! There’s also no blocking, so there’s multiple safe angles for each target. Instead, the challenge is from the sheer volume of targets and the fact that the offensive-oriented Xena temporarily becomes a pick ‘n flick-style defensive shooter. There are lethal angles to the targets, but in that good, pinball type of way. Really nice. We all really loved this mode.

Finally, and this is a weird one that my friends and family mostly disagreed with: I didn’t find the Chakram that exciting of a shot. I have no clue why that is, either, because by all rights this should be one of the stronger skillshots and gameplay elements in Pinball FX, but it just didn’t “do it” for me. Maybe because there’s a similar shot in Marvel’s Women of Power: A-Force that just does the same thing better. Sometimes these things are inexplicable. But, with all that said, whoa! Xena is packed-full of fantastic orbits, unique modes, thrilling shots, and some of the best uses of cardboard targets in Pinball FX. The sheer volume of cardboard targets in the above mode is jaw dropping, but the angles they take aren’t designed to ice your ball. In fact, this is one of the few modern Zen tables that doesn’t feel mostly defensive in nature. This is a SHOOTERS pin, and that’s such a breath of fresh air. Even the grind isn’t that bad, and when modes require a little too many shots, at least the payouts aren’t ridiculously back-loaded. In fact, I think Xena’s rule sheet might be its greatest triumph. The scoring is fine-tuned to scientific perfection in a way that would make Lyman Sheats proud. Anna Lengyel’s Homeworld is going to be lambasted by us, but it’s Xena that proves that she’s an elite pinball designer.
Cathy: MASTERPIECE (5 out of 5)
Angela: GREAT (4 out of 5)
Oscar: MASTERPIECE
Jordi: GREAT
Sasha: GREAT
Dash: GOOD (3 out of 5)
Elias: GOOD (Nintendo Switch)
Primary Pinball FX Scoring Average: 4.16 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜
Nintendo Switch Scoring Average: 4.2 📜CERTIFIED EXCELLENT📜

Pictured: something not as exciting as you would hope. Makes for a fun track toy, though. This is kin to Getaway’s supercharger, but not a SHOT that you have to factor in.

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