Indies in Due Time: May 19, 2012 I Love the Polish Edition
May 19, 2012 11 Comments
Well I do. They gave us Polish Dogs and.. um.. I’ll come up with something later. To the trailers. I seriously think this is the best collection of trailers ever done for Indies in Due Time. I’m not saying that to hustle you. If you’re reading this, you’re already here. But really, these are five pretty dang good-looking games. And the last trailer is mind-blowing. Are you hyped yet?
Kairi: I know a lot of people will probably shit all over this one, but I think it looks neat. A free roaming wave shooter set in the sky.
Brian: Very fast paced. 4 player co-op too. And hey, who doesn’t love MiGs?
Kairi: Anyone fighting a real MiG at that very moment. I’m guessing they don’t love them very much.
Brian: A quick check of their YouTube page shows that they’ve tried games like this before.
Kairi: Well, their first attempt had better graphics but looked so damn slow. It’s like watching old people have sex in a tub of molasses.
Brian: Ugh, Kairi, what the fuck? Now I’m going to have that mental image stuck in my head.
Kairi: I can make it worse.
Brian: Not possible.
Kairi: Picture it being your parents.
Brian: Wow. Excuse me, I’m going to need to use my power drill to get that image out of my head.
Kairi: What if it was your Grandparents instead?
Brian: Stop it stop it stop it!
Kairi: You know what’s sad about this trailer? An RPG that seems like it will be genuinely funny, with characters and enemies that have distinctive personalities, and they name it “Chain.”
Brian: Yea, pretty horrible.
Kairi: A total violation of the Google rule, a game that sounds HORRIBLE. Who would want to play a game called “Chain?” It doesn’t sound like an RPG. It sounds like a Tetris style game to me.
Brian: The developers are probably reading this. Hey Wimbus Studios, picture me cupping my hands over my mouth: CHANGE YOUR GAME’S NAME!
Kairi: Picture me using a bullhorn: CHANGE YOUR GAME’S NAME!
Brian: Picture me announcing this over the public address system at the Superbowl: CHANGE YOUR GAME’S NAME!
Kairi: Picture me hiring a group of mercenaries to storm into your house and hold your dog and all his chew toys hostage: CHANGE YOUR GAME’S NAME!
Brian: Do you think they actually will?
Kairi: No. Hey readers of the Chick, here’s the developer’s Twitter. His game doesn’t look shitty, but the name sounds like the type of game you would gift a relative that you hate and hope dies. You can help them. Tell them as plainly as possible: CHANGE YOUR GAME’S NAME!!
Kairi: Now see, there’s an original name for a game.
Brian: Hey Kairi..
Kairi: It’s catchy, it’s memorable..
Brian: Oh Kairi..
Kairi: It’s a good pun on a common word..
Brian: And another game already has it.
Kairi: Yea, exac.. wait, what?
Brian: In fact, another XNA game. Here’s the trailer. It’s a Windows Phone game.
Kairi: Well for fuck’s sake. The funny thing the game featured here is by Archifishal Software, the guy who did Inferno. As I pointed out in my original review of that, the game had a bit of a name problem.
Brian: I’ll get the bullhorn. You call the mercenaries.
Kairi: Nah fuck it, I give up. At least the game looks really good.
Brian: Yes, yes it does.
Kairi: Awesome 2D semi-puzzle, semi-platforming stuff. Plus, the dude has a jetpack.
Brian: Everything can use jetpacks. Monkeys with jetpacks. How come nobody has made a game with that?
Heroes of Hat
Kairi: I thought people from Utah wore magical underwear, not magical hats.
Brian: Oh, they’ve been working on the hats. I’m sure magic socks are coming soon too.
Kairi: I kid University of Utah, but of course this is the school where the video game industry as it exists today was essentially born. It’s where Atari founder Nolan Bushnell first played Spacewar. Although Ralph Baer “invented” video games, Bushnell is undoubtedly the man who made them an industry.
Brian: These are also the guys who made Mr. Gravity, one of your first reviews.
Kairi: Indeed. I loved Mr. Gravity, until it got impossibly mean at the end. This game is totally different from that. It does that “3D Characters on a 2D Level” thing. Although I must say I’ve never been a fan of platforming co-op.
Brian: But it does look fun. Be hard to top this game to close out this edition.
Kairi: Oh, wanna bet?
Kairi: Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the greatest Xbox Live Indie Game trailer of all time.
Brian: Holy fuck, it’s Super Metroid.
Kairi: No, it’s Axiom Verge, but it looks like Super Metroid, which many consider one of the greatest games ever.
Brian: Just, wow. I mean, it looks like it could totally be a sequel to Super Metroid.
Kairi: Yes, like the lost SNES sequel that just now got dusted off and released on the Virtual Console.
Brian: Coming in 2013.
Kairi: Well son of a bitch.